Perri O'Shaughnessy - Keeper of the Keys

“I’m not sure I want to do that. She said she was leaving me and she left. She doesn’t want to talk to me right now; that’s clear.”

“You want her back?” Officer Buzas said. Ray didn’t like the way he leaned against the door frame, looking like he didn’t believe a word Ray was saying.

“I love her, if that’s what you want to know,” Ray said. “I hope when she comes back, that we will be able to work through our problems. I’m afraid to track her down and drag her back when that’s not what she wants right now. I’m not sure what to do.”

“You don’t want us even to check on her welfare?”

“I didn’t say that. Look, I just don’t feel I can help right now, but I will definitely ask for your help if she is gone much longer.”

“Deputy Hubbel doesn’t believe his daughter would leave of her own free will and not contact her mother even once.”

“It’s only been five days, detectives.” Ray felt very tired. He wanted to be cooperative, but what could he tell them? That they had been fighting over Martin? Wouldn’t that make them even more suspicious?

Suddenly he felt the full enormity of his situation. It was like getting knocked down into a dark well, nobody else there, just him, the deep cold water, and slick, black walls he could never climb. These men weren’t here to conduct a little question-and-answer session. They suspected him of hurting his wife.

“We’d like to come inside and look around the place. You don’t have anything to hide, right? And it might help us locate Leigh.”

“No,” Ray said.

The younger cop seemed about to knock against Ray with a shoulder and go in, but Detective Rappaport put a hand on his arm.

“You have no idea where your wife might have gone?” he asked. He was driving Ray crazy with these repeated questions but Ray didn’t dare send them away. He could hear the radio static and the flat-sounding dispatcher’s voice on the loud radio inside their vehicle, and the red light seemed like a little sun that must be attracting the interest of his neighbors on the right.

Without thinking, Ray answered the first thing that came to mind, so innocent-sounding. “She didn’t have many close friends. Maybe my mother’s?” As soon as he said these words, Ray realized his blunder. He had needlessly involved Esmé. “Earlier in the day, Leigh had mentioned speaking with my mother on the phone, so when she left, and we both had had some time to cool off, I thought maybe she had just gone there. I went to my mother’s house just in case she had gone over there.” Lies got so deep so fast.

“Your wife wasn’t there?”

“She hadn’t gone there after all. I stayed-ate something-and when I came home I went to bed. Leigh didn’t come home and she hasn’t come home since.”

When they asked, he gave them Esmé’s address, saying he would call them later with her phone number. He didn’t have it on him. They could probably find out all this information in five minutes, even though her number was unlisted. Why not appear to cooperate while obstructing? He needed to slow them down a bit. He needed to speak to Esmé first.

No doubt they realized that.

“You don’t know your own mother’s phone number?”

“Not offhand.” He didn’t believe himself, either. “Look. Put it on the record. I didn’t hurt my wife, period,” Ray said. “I was bitterly disappointed in how things were going with our marriage, okay? I admit that. Now, I have to go. Good night.” Ray went into his house and shut the door. It took all his strength to do that, and every moment he expected a hand to come out to smack the door open.

Ray observed the detectives on his monitor. They talked to each other. Finally they got into their loud bright police car and drove away. He sank down to the floor and didn’t move for a minute. He spent the next several minutes berating himself, profanely and out loud.

Then he called Esmé. “Mom, two police detectives just left here.”

“What? Why?”

“Jim Hubbel asked them to check on Leigh.”

“Oh, no. The police. This is terrible, Ray. She still hasn’t gone in to work?”

“No, and an old friend of hers showed up today looking for her, too.”

“Well, Leigh’s a grown woman. She’s causing you so much trouble. It’s terrible. Are you okay?”

“I made some mistakes talking to them. I got rattled, confused, and-I didn’t tell them about Martin, and they’re going to find out if they keep looking, and they’ll think I lied to them deliberately, and-”

“Martin Horner? Your partner? What about Martin?”

Ray said slowly, “He had an affair with Leigh.”

Long, astonished pause. “I don’t believe it. An affair?”

“People know at the office.”

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.”

He wanted to shrug, but he knew she wouldn’t hear that. “Yes. It’s ridiculous and sordid. But to compound it, Martin and I had an argument. We were overheard.”

“You lost your temper, didn’t you, honey?”

“As a matter of fact, I hit him.”

Silence while his mother probably rued the day he was born. “That’s not good.”

“Yeah.”

“I wish you didn’t have my temper.”

“I was provoked; that’s fair to say. He said I drove her to him.”

He heard his mother breathing on the line. “Don’t you dare allow yourself to take a single bit of blame for their despicable behavior!”

He hated telling her these things, intimacies, but she should know. After all this time, he had to admit to himself, he tried to stay as closed off as she was, tight as a microwave oven, keeping the toxic energy inside.

“You never mentioned you had…issues with Martin.”

“I didn’t have issues with Martin until he slept with my wife.” He imagined he could hear the clicking of her brain. Unlike him, she thought things through in advance, even when she was upset.

“I think we should consult with an attorney, Ray.”

“No need yet. Let’s see if they come back with a warrant. Anyway, what’s to find? There’s nothing here.”

“A search warrant! My God, the papers!”

“Mom, take it easy.”

“Listen, here’s what we’re going to say. Anytime they question your absence, you were here with me. What would be good for us to be eating? Hmm. It might depend on the time of day.”

“I did mention you.”

“In what way?”

“I said that Leigh might have gone to see you sometime after she left the house.”

“Oh. You said that? Why, Ray?”

“She told me you spoke in the morning.”

“Oh, I did call that morning. I gave her a message for you to call me, that’s all. I have been thinking about how long it has been since I saw Leigh. I haven’t seen her since July Fourth. You remember?”

“Ah, yeah.” They had eaten, then walked to the nearby park to hear one of those Dixieland bands play for free on the bandstand. Remembering that night, Ray was gripped by the memory. Even then, he had a chance to change things with Leigh, make them right. He remembered how much they laughed, how they sang along with the music. Leigh couldn’t carry a tune, but she loved singing anyway and she didn’t care when people laughed at her, either.

“If they come here, I can only explain to them I haven’t seen her since then,” Esmé said.

“Mom?”

“Yes, honey?”

“I don’t know why, but I told them I went to your house right after Leigh left on Friday night, looking for her.”

“You did?”

“I lied. Maybe I was embarrassed that I didn’t chase after her.”

“Okay. Fine. What time were you here?”

“About eleven.”

“You didn’t call first?”

Ray laughed a little. “Obviously not.”