Darrell Schweitzer: Full MoonCity

Gazing down at the dead wolf, she thought that at this moment, in some house or apartment, a human being must be lying dead. One of those mysterious, sudden deaths you sometimes heard about: no suspicious circumstances, a man in the prime of life…

All at once she thought of Ari.

She looked down at the crumpled heap of flesh and bone, and went cold. What if… what if she’d somehow been responsible? What if, instead of staying safe in his usual haunts, he’d ventured out across the city in search of her?

She was shaking as she got back on her bike. She had to force herself to take it slow and easy-it would just be too stupid, too Romeo and Juliet, if she managed to get herself killed, and all along he was still safe where she’d left him, slumbering away.

It was one of the most difficult rides of her life. She arrived back at his house, soaked in sweat, her muscles achingly tight. As she dismounted on his driveway, she noticed that her bell was missing. This struck an ominous note. The little brass bell had been a token given to her by the man who’d taught her to ride. It was meant to protect her from the evil spirits of the road, and even though she didn’t really believe it-not literally-still, that it should be absent now was sinister.

When she left, Mel hadn’t been intending to return, so she was relieved to find that the door hadn’t locked automatically behind her.

Ari lay in bed just as she had left him, motionless, on his back, naked beneath the dark brown sheet. She sank to her knees at the bedside and laid her head on his chest. At first, through the rushing of blood in her ears and her own, too rapid breathing, she couldn’t hear or feel anything else, but gradually, forcing herself to calm, she became aware of the steady beat of his heart inside his warm chest, and then of his faint, shallow breathing. He was safe.

Tears filled her eyes. She wept a little, for release. She’d imagined keeping a wakeful vigil over him for what remained of the night, but a wave of tiredness washed over her, and not bothering to undress, she lay down beside him and slept.

When she awoke, the room was light with morning, and she was alone. She sat up quickly and followed the scent of fresh coffee to the kitchen.

“Good morning,” she said cheerily, but froze at his baleful stare. “What’s wrong?”

He made a show of considering. “Nothing, I guess, if you don’t think it’s wrong to lie.” His brows came together. “Did you think I wouldn’t know? That you could get away with it? But, wait, why should you care? You got what you wanted: a night with the freak. Tell me, Miss Melly: did it live up to your expectations? Was it as exciting as you’d hoped?”

“It was good for me,” she said, feeling her cheeks get hot. “I thought you seemed to be enjoying yourself, too.”

“Don’t change the subject. If this was just about sex you could have told me the truth.”

“Oh, really? If I’d told you over barbecue that I wasn’t a werewolf, would you still have invited me back here?” She saw him wince. “What? Oh, the W-word. You don’t use it. I didn’t know.”

“Obviously.”

“An easy way to weed out the groupies and other liars?”

He shrugged.

“Okay, so you don’t like people like me. But you came to my meeting.”

“Um. Well-I just wasn’t quite sure. I didn’t want to prejudge, just in case. You know what that guy said-Mr. It’s-a-disease-about a code? That’s what I wondered. I thought it was just possible somebody else, one of my own kind, was trying to find me.”

She thought of the pack she’d seen when she was out riding. “But can’t you find each other when you’re, you know… I mean, you must meet each other all the time.”

He grimaced. “Hardly ‘all the time.’ Once a month, in our other forms. It’s rarely planned, although when you find a good place to roam, you tend to go back again and again. Is that territoriality? Or just common sense? I don’t know. I mean, you want to be able to roam around freely, maybe hunt, definitely play, and you don’t want to be seen by the-by anyone. Memorial Park is great. I can’t remember how many square miles of land that covers, lots of places to run, easy to get lost in, and after dark, there really is just nobody else around. And right smack dab in the middle of town. But even so, this is a big city, and a short hop in the car translates into a damn long run on four legs. And leaving your car overnight, somewhere it shouldn’t be, even just once a month, is risky.”

There were so many questions she wanted to ask: why hadn’t his wolf materialized inside the house? Where did it appear, and could he control that location at all? How did it work? How much did he remember? But even if he’d lightened up a little, she didn’t think he’d put up with her questions for long. She watched as he poured himself a cup of coffee without offering her any or indicating that she should help herself.

She spoke as neutrally as she could. “If two people are in the same place, together, when the moon rises, their wolves will be in the same place.”

“Seems you know all about it.”

“No, I don’t, but I want to.”

“Oh, and I’m supposed to be grateful for your curiosity?” With a jerky movement suggesting he was repressing a more violent response, he set his mug down hard on the counter. “I’m not here to be your personal freak-show!”

Seeing the strong fingers of his empty hands, she felt a thrill of fear. “I don’t think you’re a freak. I think… I think you’re wonderful. I’ve never met anyone more… more… oh, please, Ari, I love you!”

She hadn’t meant to say it so soon or so bluntly, but there it was, her final throw of the dice; she had nothing else to offer.

His shoulders sagged, and he was unable to meet her gaze. “That’s a little dramatic, isn’t it?”

“It’s true.”

“You hardly know me.”

“What about last night? Doesn’t that count?”

She felt more confident now, knowing she’d disarmed him. Of course he didn’t love her yet, but he might come around to it in time. She already knew his secret, and, far from a barrier between them, it had brought them closer. It was true she’d lied to him at first, but since it had brought them together, surely that was forgivable?

She had been hovering in the doorway, but now she took a step forward. “You don’t have to share anything you don’t want to. I’m not asking for a big commitment, just a chance. I mean, why not? You can’t pretend you don’t like me-I mean, you asked me out.”

His eyes flashed. “Only because I thought you were someone else.”

That hurt a little. “Well, okay, but who’s being prejudiced now? Is that fair? You thought I was… like you. I’m not, but I’m still a nice person-”

He shook his head savagely. “I don’t mean I thought you were different-I thought you might be someone else. Someone I’d already met-just once-and really, really wanted to find again.”

She flashed on the “missed connect” classifieds in the weekly press: You were the blue-eyed princess in tight blue jeans at Hooters’ Happy Hour who made me spill my beer…

Her chest felt hollow as she understood. He was in love with someone else. “You thought maybe she was looking for you, too, and might use the same language I did: ‘Lonely werewolf, longs to run with pack.’ Not a code, because you don’t have a code, but almost.”

He nodded slowly. “I knew how unlikely it was, and I was pretty sure, really, as soon as I saw you that you weren’t… her… but… well, I’d been looking for her for so long, and you’re an attractive woman, and, let’s be frank, I was horny.” He shrugged. “Well, we’re both grown-ups. No need to apologize.”