Darrell Schweitzer - Full MoonCity

Russ was toying with his wineglass but never picked it up. “Sorry about that. Sorry.”

“Did she seriously think we were going to ask her to join us?”

“I don’t know, yeah… maybe. That’s just Lily being Lily.”

Karin poured another glass of wine and finished it in one long, continuous swallow.

He reached across the table to take her hand when she started to refill the glass. “Don’t. She was just trying to rattle you.”

“Well, it worked. How could she see your car? We parked in the back.”

“I don’t know… she has a way of doing things like that.”

“She’s… barged in on your other dates?” Karin did a quick mental rundown on the things Russ had told her about Lily and couldn’t remember that particular point of interest.

“What? Oh… no, no, but for the first couple of months after we broke up I’d go somewhere-to the market or hardware store or, even a fast-food drive-thru-and I’d see her. We wouldn’t talk or anything, but she’d be there. And when I’d get home, there’d be a message on my answering machine or a text message on my cell… We never actually spoke but she wanted me to know she was there… that she’ll always be there.”

Russ let go of her hand and finished his wine.

“And, in case you’re wondering why this happened tonight… I suspect it’s because I’ve been with you longer than any of the other…”

Karin took pity on him and nodded. “Six whole months, going on seven.”

“And that bothers the hell out of her… because this is real.”

She couldn’t say anything and it was probably just as well when, instead of letting the moment continue, he added:

“We started dating just a few months after her husband died and that was a mistake. She was so devastated by his death, so helpless…” He shrugged. “I don’t know, but she needed me and, I guess, I liked the feeling, so I stayed even after I knew the relationship wasn’t what I wanted. A couple years into it and I’d really had enough and tried to break it off…”

Karin leaned forward but didn’t say anything. This was the first time she’d heard about that.

“She threatened to kill herself if I left. And… I believed her.”

“So you stayed.”

“For another eighteen months, and then… Christ, I couldn’t take it. She thought she had me so she felt she could do or say anything to belittle me and I’d take it. We were at an office party and my boss’s wife-who was a bit drunk and flirty at that point-was complimenting me on my suit when Lily walked up. ‘Oh yes, the poor man knew nothing about fashion or… much of any of the social skills until I showed him. He’s so helpless without me.’ ”

“Yikes.”

Russ nodded. “Yeah, and Lily made sure everyone in the room heard it. When I took her home… back to her home, that is, I told her how I felt and she laughed and said it was only a joke and she felt sorry for me if I didn’t know that. I walked her to her door, then turned around and left.”

“Wow.”

“I didn’t answer the phone for three days, and on the fourth, she showed up at my office in hysterics… making me the bully, of course. Then-Christ, I don’t want to talk about this anymore, okay?”

Karin nodded. She could get the rest of the story from friends. “Sure.”

They ate the rest of their meal making careful small talk about safe subjects and were laughing and holding each other as they walked to his car. But later that night, when they made love, Karin had the distinct impression that there was another person in bed with them.

A woman with long dark hair and sad gray eyes and sharp white teeth: a bitch in flowing sheep’s clothing.

“So… you met Lily?”

Karin could hear the pity in her friend’s voice and almost wished she hadn’t called. But what’s the use of having a girlfriend, especially a girlfriend who knows all the players and doesn’t have to be brought up to speed?

“Yes,” Karin said. “Yes, I did.”

“And?”

“Scary lady.”

“You think so?” Karin was a bit surprised by the comment. “I just think she’s sad. And, yeah, okay, maybe a little… pathetic. I mean, it has been three years. I keep telling her it’s time to move on.”

“You still talk to her?”

“Oh, sure. Ben and Russ worked together, so I knew Lily from the start and…” Her friend’s sigh echoed softly in Karin’s ear. “Well, she still calls sometimes to ask about Russ. Last night she was in tears, sobbing her heart out because she saw the two of you together and how could Russ go to their restaurant with another woman and-”

“It wasn’t their restaurant. Russ said-”

“-do this to her because she still cared so much. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Same song, different verse. Don’t let it get to you.”

Karin heard a snap and looked down at the broken mechanical pencil in her hand. “Uh-huh.”

“C’mon. It’s just her way of trying to get sympathy. I know she probably hoped I’d call Russ and tell him, but I told her to knock it off instead. She got real quiet and then hung up.”

“Why does the word ‘manipulation’ come to mind?”

“Yeah, but she’s just running scared. Ben and I haven’t seen Russ this happy in… a long time, and I’m sure Lily notices that, too.”

The mailbox icon flashed in the upper corner of her computer screen and Karin smiled. Russ liked to send her jokes or cartoons or just “Hi, miss you” messages to brighten her workday. Setting the broken pencil down, she clicked open the e-mail… and stopped smiling.

“Oh, joy.”

“I know.” Dee sighed. “But don’t let her get to you. It’s hard when someone won’t let go, but she’s really only hurting herself.”

“I know… and I can understand how Lily doesn’t want to give up. Russ is a wonderful man and I don’t intend to simply walk away.”

“It may get rough.”

Karin nodded and reread the message on her screen:

I simply don’t understand why you’re with him. You’re nothing. You’re average at best and Russell requires a woman who is much more than that. I’m saying this only as a friend, but if you continue to burden him with your presence, you’ll only bring him down to your level, and one day he’ll notice that and leave you. Show me I’m wrong. Leave him now and gain my respect-Lily

“Oh,” Karin said into the phone as she pressed the delete key, “there’s no doubt about that.”

“Excuse me?”

Russ smiled weakly. “She wants all of us to be friends .”

“And you know this because…”

“She called me at work this afternoon… weeping and asking me to forgive her for last night. She said she’d be happy and be able to get on with her life if we could be friends.”

Karin took a deep breath and pretended to think about it without adding any comment about aeronautically gifted swine. She also didn’t mention Lily’s e-mails-five in total, all along the same “you’re not good enough for him, leave now, you pitiful excuse for a woman” lines-or the phone message on her answering machine:

“I don’t think Russell will ever know just how much he meant to me… but he was my world and I-I-” (sound of weeping) “I hope you both know that I only want him to be happy. If not with me, then… I hope you can make him happy but I worry because he should have said that last night. If a man is happy, he wants to tell the world. Has he ever told you? He told me so many times how happy I made him… but he must have lied. He must still be lying-to himself. Please, Karin, call me and let’s talk. There are so many things you apparently don’t know about him… that only I can tell you. We need to talk. Please call. My number is-”