Jeffery Deaver - The Sleeping Doll

"Did he?"

Yes, in fact, he had. But Sam said, "I don't remember."

"Bullshit."

"Why would he lie to me?" Linda growled.

"Because you told him that Mommy and Daddy didn't let you play at the cookout. That gave him something to work with. And he used it. And he didn't just buy you one. He claimed he made it! What a fucking saint!"

"You're the one who's lying."

"Why?"

"Because Daniel never made anything for you."

"Oh, please. Are we back in high school?" Rebecca looked Linda over. "Oh, I get it. You were jealous of me! That's why you were so pissed off then. That's why you're pissed off now."

This was true too, Sam reflected. After Rebecca joined the Family Daniel had spent far less time with the other women. Sam could handle it-anything as long as he was happy and didn't want to kick her out of the Family. But Linda, in the role of mother, was stung that Rebecca seemed to supplant her.

Linda denied it now. "I was not. How could anybody afford to be jealous living in that situation? One man and three women living together?"

"How? Because we're human, that's how. Hell, you were jealous of Rachel. "

"That was different. She was a slut. She wasn't one of us, she wasn't part of the Family."

Sam said, "Look, we're not here about us. We're here to help the police."

Rebecca scoffed. "How could we not be here about us? The first time we've been together after eight years? What, you think we'd just show up, write a top-ten list-'Things I remember about Daniel Pell'-and go home? Of course, this's about us as much as him."

Angry too, Linda gazed at Sam. "And you don't have to defend me." A contemptuous nod toward Rebecca. " She's not worth it. She wasn't there from the beginning like we were. She wasn't a part of it, and she took over."

Turning to Rebecca. "I was with him for more than a year. You? A few months."

"Daniel asked me. I didn't force my way in."

"We were going along fine, and then you show up."

"'Going along fine'?" Rebecca set down her wineglass and sat forward. "Are you hearing what you're saying?"

"Rebecca, please," Sam said. Her heart was pounding. She thought she'd cry as she looked at the two red-faced women, facing each other across a coffee table of varnished yellowing logs. "Don't."

The lean woman ignored her. "Linda, I've been listening to you since I got here. Defending him, saying it wasn't so bad, we didn't steal all that much, maybe Daniel didn't kill so-and-so…Well, that's bullshit. Get real. Yes, the Family was sick, totally sick."

"Don't say that! It's not true."

"Goddamn it, it is true. And Daniel Pell's a monster. Think about it. Think about what he did to us…" Rebecca's eyes were glowing, jaw trembling. "He looked at you and saw somebody whose parents never gave her an inch of freedom. So what does he do? He tells you what a fine, independent person you are, how you're being stifled. And puts you in charge of the house. He makes you Mommy. He gives you power, which you never had before. And he hooks you in with that."

Tears dotted Linda's eyes. "It wasn't like that."

"You're right. It was worse. Because then look at what happened. The Family breaks up, we go to jail and where do you end up? Right back where you started. With a domineering male figure again-only this time, Daddy's God. If you thought you couldn't say no to your real father, think about your new one."

"Don't say that," Sam began. "She's-"

Rebecca turned on her. "And you. Just like the old days. Linda and I go at it, and you play Little Miss United Nations, don't want anybody upset, don't want anybody making waves. Why? Is it because you care about us, dear? Or is it because you're terrified we'll self-destruct and you'll be even more alone than you already are?"

"You don't have to be like that," Sam muttered.

"Oh, I think I do. Let's take a look at your story, Mouse. Your parents didn't know you existed. 'Go do whatever you want, Sammy. Mommy and Daddy're too busy with Greenpeace or the National Organization for Women or walking for the cure to tuck you in at night.' And what does Daniel do for you? He's suddenly the involved parent you never had. He looks out for you, tells you what to do, when to brush your teeth, when to repaint the kitchen, when to get on all fours in bed…and you think it means he loves you. So, guess what? You're hooked too.

"And now? You're back to square one, just like Linda. You didn't exist to your parents, and now you don't exist to anyone. Because you're not Samantha McCoy. You became somebody else."

"Stop it!" Sam was crying hard now. The harsh words, born from a harsh truth, stung deeply. There were things she could say too-Rebecca's selfishness, her bluntness bordering on cruelty-but she held back. It was impossible for her to be harsh, even in self-defense.

Mouse…

But Linda didn't have Sam's reticence. "And what gives you the right to talk? You were just some tramp pretending to be this bohemian artist." Linda's voice shook with anger, tears streaming down her face. "Sure, we had some problems, Sam and me, but we cared for each other. You were just a whore. And here you are, judging us. You weren't any better!"

Rebecca sat back, her face still. Sam could almost see the anger bleeding away. She looked down at the table, said in a soft voice, "You're right, Linda. You're absolutely right. I'm no better at all. I fell for it too. He did the same thing to me."

"You?" the woman snapped. "You didn't have any connection with Daniel! You were just there to fuck."

"Exactly," she said with a sad smile on her face, one of the saddest that Samantha McCoy had ever seen.

Sam asked, "What do you mean, Rebecca?"

More wine. "How do you think he got me hooked?" Another sip of wine. "I never told you that I hadn't slept with anybody for three years before I met him."

"You?"

"Funny, huh? Sexy me. The femme fatale of the Central Coast? The truth was a lot different. What did Daniel Pell do for me? He made me feel good about my body. He taught me that sex was good. It wasn't dirty." She set down the wineglass. "It wasn't something that happened when my father got home from work."

"Oh," Sam whispered.

Linda said nothing.

Downing the last of the wine. "Two or three times a week. Middle and high school…You want to hear what my graduation present was?"

"Rebecca…I'm so sorry," Sam said. "You never said anything."

"You mentioned that day in the van, when we met?" Speaking to Linda, whose face was unmoved. "Yeah, we were there for three hours. You thought we were fucking. But all we did was talk. He was comforting me because I was so freaked out. Just like so many other times-being with a man who wanted me, and me wanting him, only I couldn't go there. I couldn't let him touch me. A sexy package-with no passion inside. But Daniel? He knew exactly what to say to make me feel comfortable.

"And now look at me-I'm thirty-three and I've dated four different men this year and, you know, I can't remember the name of the second one. Oh, and guess what-every one of them was at least fifteen years older than me… No, I'm not any better than you guys. And everything I said to you, I mean it twice for myself.

"But come on, Linda, look at him for who he is and what he did to us. Daniel Pell's the worst thing you can possibly imagine. Yes, it was all that bad…Sorry, I'm drunk and this's brought up more crap than I was prepared to deal with."

Linda said nothing. Sam could see the conflict in her face. After a moment she said, "I'm sorry for your misfortune. I'll pray for you. Now please excuse me, I'm going to bed."