Bobbi Smith - Captive Pride

“Good-bye, Noah…and please, please, be careful.” Tears were coursing freely down her cheeks as she took one last look at him. Then she turned and raced away down the steps and out of the house, disappearing quickly into the night.

Miserable and dying inside, Noah watched her until she was out of sight. He felt as if someone had physically ripped his heart from his chest, and he drew a deep, shuddering breath as he started back to his room and Smith.

Unmindful of any attention she might attract, CC hurried away. She felt frozen and lifeless inside. Nothing seemed to matter without Noah…nothing. Eager to seek out what little comfort the familiar surroundings of her room could offer, she ran for home, unaware that her father was there in her chambers waiting for her.

CC was exhausted as she finally climbed through her open window and then closed it behind her. As she moved about the dark, warm security of her own room, she realized vaguely that she’d been very lucky in not having been found out. As tired and filled with anguish as she was, CC wanted only to collapse upon the bed and cry out her misery, but she knew that it would not do to risk being discovered in her disguise. Moving wearily to her small bedside table, she lighted the lamp. The flickering flame wavered for a moment before shining full and bright, and it bathed the chamber in a soft golden glow. CC turned, ready to search through her armoire for a nightgown. She went completely still and stared in shock at the sight that greeted her. There, sitting in the chair near the bed, was her father.

“Father!” she gasped as she stood before him, her limbs suddenly quaking in fright. They had argued many times. They had even been very angry with each other on several occasions, like this afternoon, but never before had she seen such a look on his face. His expression was positively fiendish as he regarded her with eyes that seemed to glow red with fury.

“I see you’ve finally decided to return, my dear. That is you, isn’t it?” Edward’s tone was cutting as he regarded her in complete disgust. It was bad enough that she’d left the house in such an unorthodox manner without his permission, but to discover that she had been dressed like a man while doing it…well, it was more than he could countenance. How dare she? And what was she up to?

Hastily, CC tugged the tricorn from her head, shaking her long hair free from its confines. “Yes, Father. It’s me.”

“I see,” he stated rigidly. “I want to know where you’ve been, young lady… And I use the term loosely at this point.”

As distraught as she was over being parted from Noah, CC could think of no lies to cover for her outrageous behavior. Swallowing nervously, she didn’t answer.

“I asked you where you’ve been!” he boomed as he came to his feet and stalked toward her.

“I’d prefer not to talk about it, if you don’t mind, Father.”

“You prefer not to talk about it…” Edward was irate, and he repeated her statement in amazement. “You prefer not to talk about it! By God, daughter, were you the male you’re pretending to be, I’d thrash you within an inch of your life right now!”

CC cringed at the very real threat of physical violence in his voice. Edward came to stand before her, his hands clenched into fists at his sides as he fought for control.

“I want to know where you’ve been!” He loomed over her, barely containing his rage.

Drawing on her courage, she lifted her chin and looked up at him. “I can’t tell you.”

“Ah, but you will, little girl. I am going to know exactly what is going on here. It was bad enough that you shamed yourself earlier today by going to the jail, but this…” He gestured toward her mode of dress. “This is unforgivable!” Edward was bellowing now, and CC knew she had to do something to defuse the situation.

Finally gathering enough presence of mind to tell him a close rendition of the truth, CC hurried to offer, “I understand you’re upset, Father, but the whole thing is really quite simple. There was a political meeting tonight, and I wanted to attend. I knew it wouldn’t do if I went as CC Demorest, so I wore these clothes to keep my identity a secret. I’m sorry if I’ve upset you.”

“Upset is not the word for what I’m feeling right now, dear girl! I have dedicated my life to raising you, and this is the thanks I get for it!” He gestured toward her clothing. “A political meeting, indeed!” Edward snorted his disbelief as he shook his head in sorrow, lamenting his erroneous judgment. “I’ve given you every educational opportunity. I’ve allowed you freedoms no other woman has ever enjoyed. Yet you respond this way. I was wrong in giving you the chance to voice your opinions. Instead of permitting you to express youself, I should have forced you into the traditional submissive role so well suited to your sex.”

“Father…I…”

“Shut up!” He silenced her viciously. “I don’t want to hear another word from you. While I was sitting here alone in the dark waiting for you to return, I had quite some time to ponder your activities lately. Everything else aside, I find it most distressing that you are brazen enough to go out in public dressed as a man. I can only conclude that you are jeopardizing my good name, and that, Cecelia Marie, is something I will not tolerate.” He glowered at her. “Since, despite all my efforts, you obviously have acquired no sense of decency, I’m afraid we’re going to have to make some very drastic changes.”

“What do you mean?” Her eyes rounded fearfully as she wondered what he was planning.

“First thing in the morning I’m going to book you passage to England. You will return to London and live with your Aunt Charlotte. She was always a stickler for decorum, and perhaps, just perhaps, she can correct all your faults. Under her strict tutelage you will learn to become a woman-someone your mother would have been proud of…”

His last declaration hurt. “But Father…”

“Silence! I’ve made my decision. You will be leaving Boston at the earliest possible moment. Good night.” He turned from her without another word and quit the room.

It was well past midnight, and Noah and Joshua shared the shuttered room in silence. After they had eaten earlier, Joshua had made several attempts to engage Noah in conversation, but Noah had been so filled with despair at the thought of being parted from CC that he had been unusually curt in his replies. Frustrated in his overtures, Joshua had lapsed back into his usual taciturn manner. They had remained silent from then on as they waited tensely for word from Ryan.

The hours since CC’s departure had passed with maddening slowness for Noah, and his mood was black as he paced the small chamber. Never before had he known such an all-encompassing love for anyone. It was as if a vital part of him had been cut away, and he was at a loss to deal with it.

Though Noah had been honorable in his original intention of leaving CC behind, the more he thought about never seeing her again, the more impossible it became. How could he possibly exist without her now that he knew the true sweetness of her love? The answer came to him easily…he couldn’t. No matter how noble he had tried to be in sending her away from him, Noah knew he couldn’t live with that decision. Somehow, some way, he was going to see her one more time. When he did, if she still wanted to accompany him, he was going to take her with him. His thoughts were interrupted then by the sound of riders in the alley below.

“Joshua?” Ryan called out as he entered the house and started upstairs to find them.

“We’re here, Ryan,” Joshua answered, coming out into the hall to meet him, “and we’ve had no trouble.”