Bobbi Smith - Captive Pride

“How can you say that?” she demanded. “You make wonderful love to me, then leave our bed without a word. You became cold and indifferent…”

“CC, I am hardly indifferent to you, and if I seem cold, I’m sorry.”

“Then tell me what’s wrong. We love each other. If there’s something troubling you, maybe I can help.” Her plea was so heartfelt that Noah couldn’t prevent himself from sitting down on the bed and drawing her back into his arms.

“Ah, love…everything is wrong.” His voice was a hoarse whisper as he buried his face against the sweetness of her throat.

“What do you mean?”

“I love you, CC. There’s nothing I want more than for us to spend the rest of our lives together, but that’s not going to happen.”

The certainty of his words was like a slap in the face to CC, and she stiffened in his embrace and drew back to look at him. “What do you mean?”

“I have nothing to offer you, darling.” His words were despairing. Noah felt as if his heart were being torn from his chest. He wanted her, God knows he did, but his sense of honor would not allow him to make promises to her he would be unable to keep.

“I have your love. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“What good is my love going to do you if I’m a wanted man? Have you forgotten that I’ve just broken out of jail? I’m a criminal, wanted by the law. Ryan’s going to get me out of Boston as soon as he can, but after that I’m going to be on the run. There can be no future for us.”

Her eyes filled with tears. “But I love you! I want to be with you! It doesn’t matter…”

“It does matter!” Noah told her bitterly. “CC…I feel the same way you do. I love you… I want to be with you, but I won’t take you with me. It’s too dangerous. If anything ever happened to you, I’d never forgive myself.”

“Let me make that decision!” she demanded.

“No.” He was curt. “I love you too much to put you at such risk.”

“Then marry me now. I can stay here and wait for you…” she pleaded, wanting more than anything to be his wife and to bear his name.

“No, love. It wouldn’t be fair to you. I have no idea where I’ll be going or what I’ll be doing. The way things stand, I could be dead tomorrow.”

“Oh, don’t say that!” CC cried as she wrapped her arms about him in a fiercely protective embrace.

“I have to say it, CC. It’s something you have to think about. You’ve got to understand…” Noah pried her arms from about him and held her slightly away so he could meet her eyes. “I love you, darling. I’ll never love anyone else. It’s because of my love that I won’t put you through all the torment.”

“What’s going to happen to you?” CC asked in a choked whisper as she struggled to fight back the tears burning in her eyes.

“I wish I knew,” he told her, smoothing an errant lock of hair back from her face and then bending to brush his lips tenderly against hers.

“Noah, please, I’ll go anywhere with you! I’ll do anything… Just don’t say that we’re going to be separated!” she agonized.

Before he could reply, the sound of someone entering the house below tore them apart. “Get dressed,” he ordered as he closed the door firmly and then quickly finished straightening his own clothing. “It’s probably the messenger from Ryan.”

CC was grateful she had been wearing the boy’s garb, for it made it easier for her to dress, and she was completely clothed before the knock sounded at the door.

“Kincade?” Joshua Smith asked cautiously.

“Yes. Come in.”

Noah greeted him with pleased surprise. “It’s good to see you again, Smith.”

“You, too,” he returned, glancing questioningly from Noah to CC. “Did Ryan send you here, Miss CC?”

“No. As a matter of fact, I came here looking for Ryan and accidentally discovered Lord Kincade’s presence.”

Smith nodded. “Oh.”

“What’s the news?” Noah quickly asked, directing the conversation away from the subject of CC’s presence.

“It looks like we may be able to get you out of town just before dawn.”

“Is it definite?”

“We won’t be sure until after midnight. Ryan will get back to us then with a definite answer, one way or the other.”

“Us?”

“Yes. He gave me orders that I was to stay with you for now, just in case.”

Noah fought to keep from scowling at the news. Smith was staying! Were he and CC never to have another moment alone together? Was it to end like this?

“I can stay with him if you’ve got something else you have to do, Joshua,” CC offered, feeling the same terrible desperation that gripped Noah.

“No, I’m sorry, Miss CC. Ryan gave me explicit instructions that I was to stay here until we heard from him.”

CC was crestfallen. The thought that she might never see Noah again left her dreams shattered, and she felt as if her life were ending.

“How’s my brother?” Noah was asking. He was trying not to believe that CC would soon be forced to leave.

“They searched Matthew’s house first, but of course they didn’t find anything.” Smith was smug, pleased that their plan had worked so well.

“Good.” Noah was relieved that Matthew wasn’t paying the price for his present predicament.

“I’ve brought us some food.” He held up a saddlebag and then looked around the small room in annoyance. “Pity there’s not a better place to sit than on the bed,” he commented as he walked over and sat down. As he rummaged through the pouch for food, CC and Noah exchanged strained glances.

“Noah…I…”

“You’d better go now,” he told her firmly, not wanting to put her reputation at any greater risk.

“All right.” They were the most painful words she’d ever uttered. She wanted to throw herself into his arms and refuse to leave, but she knew it was impossible. Heartbroken, she picked up her tricorn and started from the room.

“I’ll go down with you,” Noah offered.

“Don’t go downstairs, Kincade. Someone might catch sight of you through a window. Stay up here,” Smith instructed, keeping his attention diverted to allow them a moment of privacy. Though he gave the impression of being a coldhearted man, Joshua knew love when he saw it. He knew that young Miss CC was carrying quite a flame for the Englishman, and he thought it quite a pity that things were turning out as they were.

Noah and CC moved in silence out into the darkened hallway, and they didn’t speak until they were near the top of the staircase.

“Noah…please don’t make me leave you!” Her tears were falling freely now as she gave up the fight to contain them. “Not now…not when we’ve just discovered how much we love each other! My life will be empty without you!”

“CC, it’s the only way I can live with myself. If you’re home with your father, I’ll know you’re safe and well.”

“But Noah-”

“No more, CC!” he cut her off brusquely. “Do you think I want this any more than you do? Do you think I enjoy the thought that I may never hold you, or touch you, or kiss you again? It’s tearing me apart to send you away, but it’s the only solution!”

Without another word, he clasped her to him and covered her mouth with his in a potent kiss meant to brand her as his for all time.

“No matter what happens, CC, always remember that I love you…” He said the words softly and then kissed her again, this time cherishingly. “Good-bye, my darling…”

“Noah…”

“Go now before it becomes even more difficult!”

CC gave a choked sob and then touched his cheek one last time. Steeling herself against the emotions that were ravaging her very soul, she turned away to stuff her hair up under her hat.