Andy McNab - Last Night-Another Soldier…

As the Apaches did the business in the maize fields, Si and me got Toki up and limping, then we dragged Flash halfway down the ditch.

As soon as we were in cover, Toki got straight on the radio to MacKenzie to give him our exact location and to report on the state of our casualty. The blood on Toki's face had already dried in the sun and there was a nasty cut on his lip. He was definitely going to be battered and bruised for a good few weeks to come, but at least there was no major damage done.

Flash was another story. We'd managed to stretch him out on a slight shelf just above the waterline. Si and me had cut off his combats, and just about stopped the bleeding in his leg, but he had a big, fat hole ripped out of the middle of his thigh.

Si had pumped him full of morphine, but it didn't sound like it was working that well. He wasn't screaming, but he wasn't exactly talking much either. We stayed close, even though there wasn't much more we could do. We just tried to chat to him a bit, so at least he knew his mates were with him as we waited for MERT to arrive.

Flash's face screwed up in pain. 'I can't feel my leg.'

'You're alive, mate, that's all that matters.' I really meant it.

Toki came off the radio. 'MacKenzie says just two more minutes and MERT will be here to lift us all out.'

I felt a surge of happiness rush through me. 'Hear that, Flash. MERT will be here in two. You got us going back there, you know. Thought you were a gonner.'

'So did I.' He managed to grimace. 'I blacked out when I got zapped. Next thing I knew, Toki was there.'

'Just making sure you were properly dead,' Toki smiled and his lip bled some more. Si and me burst out laughing like it was the funniest thing we'd ever heard. I don't know why. It wasn't much of a joke. I looked around at all three of them, brimming with happiness. 'We made it! We all made it!' I pumped my arm in the air. 'Yessssss.'

Si beamed back at me. 'Happy days!'

Just then, the faint sound of the MERT Chinook filled the air. I looked up to find the dot in the sky but couldn't see it yet. It didn't matter, it would be here soon.

I put my hand on Flash's arm. 'Hey, Flash, the doctors are nearly here, mate. You'll be in hospital with that gammy leg of yours within the hour.'

'Briggsy!' Toki barely took his eyes off the sky as he threw me a smoke grenade. 'Mark us up so the heli doesn't land on top of us. Give it some blue a good twenty metres from the ditch. You know what those RAF are like.'

I leapt to my feet like I'd just been asked to pick up my winnings on the lottery. 'Okey-dokey, Toki!' I giggled as I caught the baked-bean-cansized grenade.

Funny how things turn around. You think you haven't got it in you, then you find out you have. When the Tali started dragging Toki and Flash back into in the maize, it was my time to prove I had what it took. I did my job, good style. Si did too. For me, that was a big relief.

Even bigger was that I was still alive to think about it. I didn't feel good or bad about killing. It was just them or me really. But I know one thing for sure, back there by the maize was the first time I felt like a real soldier.

I scrambled up the bank and ran into the open ground. I could now see the Chinook clearly, about six or seven hundred metres away. I pulled the pin, threw the grenade and a thick cloud of blue smoke filled the air. The Chinook slowly turned and headed towards us. Happy, happy days!

Under the cover of smoke, Toki climbed up the bank to meet me. He cupped his hands to his mouth to shout above the sound of the rotor blades.

'Hey, Briggsy! I was right, wasn't I? You did good back there.'

I grinned as I walked towards him, enjoying the praise. 'Looking at the way you were mincing about with those Talis,' I shouted from about two metres away, 'I thought you could do with the help. Besides, I had to help my mates out, didn't I? Happy d-'

I heard a click underneath my foot. Nothing else.

Two months later and I was back at home in my old bed. My room hadn't changed since before I'd joined the army. It still had Chelsea posters stuck all over the walls, and my old skateboard propped up behind the door.

The only thing different was that Mum had Blu-Tacked a couple of army photos next to my poster of Beyonce. There was one of me and the lads on the assault course at the Infantry Training Centre, and a big group shot of the whole platoon, who were still back at the FOB with another month left to go of the tour. Si had sent me that one while I was still in hospital. His arse was in the middle of the picture doing a moonie, with all the others grinning behind him, giving me the thumbs up.

Apparently, when I had trodden on the mine, there was just a small explosion and some dirt got thrown up into the air. You kind of expected a fire and a blast of epic proportions if it was going to change your life that much, but it hadn't happened that way. The explosion hadn't thrown my body high into the air. It had just sort of lifted me off the ground about six inches. Trouble was, when I landed, I was no longer in one piece, but two. I lost most of my right leg in the blast.

It was Toki who hadn't stood a chance. The force of the explosion had hurled lumps of rock straight towards him at supersonic speed. A shard of rock had flown up into his chin and sliced straight through his brain. He was killed outright.

At least Flash was doing well. He had called me yesterday from his new married quarters. His missus loved it. He had a massive scar on his leg and was still in a lot of pain, but he would be fit enough to stay in the army. Good news.

Si emailed me all the time. The lads back at our FOB were still getting shot at by the Talis most nights. Other than that, he was busy burning turd drums for his red leather sofa. He told me that after Toki was killed, MacKenzie had given him a really good send-off.

It felt strange not being out in Afghanistan with the lads any more. Some days I felt guilty for surviving when Toki hadn't. But on other days, when the pain in my leg was really bad, I reckoned maybe Toki had the better deal.

I tried not to think too much about what life would be like in the future. Better just to crack on with it. Wait and see, know what I mean? The doctors said once my leg had healed well enough, they'd be able to fit a false one to the stump.

Having to leave the army was the worst thing really, but I still planned to keep in touch with all my mates. And like MacKenzie said in all his speeches, I would make sure I never forgot Toki, or any of the lads killed in action wherever they fought.

People like Toki lived and died as soldiers, doing a job they loved. For some reason, back in the UK, no one seems able to get their heads around that fact.

Soldiers don't fight for Queen or country, like they say on the telly. They fight for each other. It's the job of a soldier to kill the enemy, and if that means getting killed or injured in the process, so what? Toki and all the rest of them who died knew the risks. Toki wouldn't want any pity. And if he didn't want any, then I didn't either.

One good thing that had come out of all this was that I was starting to get my dad back. The second half of that letter I'd posted to him from Afghanistan said he could write back to me if he wanted. I'd told him I'd post him some pictures of me in my uniform, and maybe he could send some of him from when he was in the Army.

Things moved on quite a bit after that. My dad went to see a doctor about PTSD and they started giving him some help. He even came to see me in hospital last week, and drove me and my mum back home just now. Maybe they'd get back together one day. Who knew?

One thing I did know, though, was once a soldier, always a soldier. Know what I mean?