Michael Ridpath - Free To Trade

The shock of these words hit me hard in the face, leaving my ears singing and my eyes out of focus. I slumped back in my chair. When Hamilton was talking to the police, wild fears of what might have happened to Debbie had run through my mind, but they hadn't prepared me for this blow. I felt the emptiness of the desk behind me, usually the centre of gossip and laughter, now silent. I only half heard Hamilton continue.

'Her body was found at six o'clock this morning in the Thames by Millwall Docks. The police will be round this afternoon to talk to us. They asked me to check who was the last to see her last night.'

'1 was,' I said, or rather I meant to say. What came out of my mouth was just a croak. 'I was,' I repeated, more clearly this time.

Hamilton turned to me, his face grim. 'OK, Paul, they'll probably want a statement from you.'

Everyone looked at me, enquiringly. 'I last saw her about half past nine last night,' I said. 'We had just had a drink. She was walking along the Embankment. I didn't see anything else.' Despite the turmoil inside me, I managed to keep my voice under control.

'Do they know how it happened?' asked Rob.

'Not yet,' replied Hamilton. 'They are not ruling anything out, according to the policeman.'

How it happened? She fell in, surely. But how do you just fall into the Thames? That would have to be very difficult, however windy the night. That meant she either jumped, or she was pushed. The dead eyes and thin face of the man who had groped Debbie just before she left the boat, loomed up in front of me. I bet he had something to do with it.

The phones were flashing angrily. Hamilton said, 'We had better answer those.'

None of us talked to the others. It was difficult to think of anything to say. We each suffered our shock privately. Karen sobbed quietly into a handkerchief. Rob and Gordon stood around, looking for something to occupy themselves with.

I just stared across at Debbie's desk.

Until last night, I hadn't realised how close we had become over the last couple of months. I could still see her round cheeks glowing in the soft light of the boat, eyes bubbling with laughter. That was only hours ago, fourteen hours to be precise. How could someone who had so much life in her suddenly not be? Just cease to exist. It didn't make sense. I could feel my eyes smarting. I put my head in my hands and just sat there.

I don't know how long it was before I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up. It was Hamilton.

'I'm sorry,' he said. 'You were a good team.'

I looked up at him and nodded.

'Do you want to go home?' Hamilton asked.

I shook my head.

'Can I suggest something?' said Hamilton.

My voice cracked as I said, 'What?'

'Pick up the phone and talk to people.'

He was right. I needed to enmesh myself in the safety of the daily routine. Prices, gossip, yields, spreads.

I couldn't bring myself to tell people about Debbie. But it was not long before word got around the market. The rest of the morning was more difficult as I spent most of it agreeing with everyone what a wonderful, fun-loving person Debbie was and how awful it was that she was dead.

At lunchtime the police came. They spent half an hour with Hamilton. He then called me into the conference room, where two men sat waiting for me. The larger of the two introduced himself as Detective Inspector Powell. He was a stocky man in his mid-thirties with a cheap double-breasted suit hanging open, and a loud tie. He moved quickly as he stood up, his stockiness was muscle, not flab. He looked like a man of action, uncomfortable in the rarefied atmosphere of De Jong's conference room. His colleague, Detective Constable Jones, merged into the background, pencil at the ready to take notes.

'Mr McKenzie says that you were the last person here to see Miss Chater alive?' Powell began. He had a flat London accent, and a tone which made a simple question sound more like an accusation. He oozed impatience.

'That's true. We went out for a drink last night.' I told them all about the previous night. The constable took copious notes. The questioning became closer when I got to the man who had accosted Debbie and disappeared into the night. I answered well under pressure, giving a pretty accurate description, and said I would spend some time with a police artist if necessary. Then Powell's questions changed tack.

'Mr McKenzie said that you were the closest to Miss Chater?'

'Yes, I suppose that that is correct.'

'Would you say that Miss Chater was depressed lately?' he asked.

'No, not really.'

'No problems with boyfriends?'

'None that she told me about.'

'Any problems at work?'

I hesitated. 'No, not really.'

'None at all?' Powell looked me straight in the eye. He had caught my hesitation.

'Well, she was a little upset recently.' I told him about Debbie's disagreements with Hamilton and her conversation with me in Finsbury Circus. 'But she wasn't nearly upset enough to commit suicide,' I said.

'It's always difficult to tell that, sir,' said Powell. 'It's surprising how often apparently stable people take their own life because of something that friends or relatives think of as trivial.'

'No, you don't understand,' I said. 'She was never depressed. In fact, she was always having a laugh. She enjoyed life.'

Powell looked as though he only half heard this. He nodded to his colleague, who closed his notebook, and then said, 'Thank you for your time, Mr Murray. You will of course be available should we have any more questions?'

I nodded, and with that the two policemen left.

I struggled through the day somehow. At about six, I turned off the machines and went home.

As I was waiting at the lift, I was joined by Hamilton. There was an awkward silence. Small-talk with Hamilton was tough at the best of times. In the present circumstances, I did not have the energy to think of anything bright or interesting to say.

Eventually the lift came and we both got in. As the lift descended, Hamilton spoke. 'What are you doing now, Paul?'

'Nothing. Going home,' I said.

'Do you want to stop in for a drink at my place on the way back?' Hamilton asked.

I didn't answer at first. I was amazed by the invitation. It was completely unlike Hamilton to invite anyone to do anything socially. A half-hour of difficult conversation with Hamilton was the last thing I felt like right then, but I couldn't refuse.

'That's very kind of you,' I said.

Hamilton lived in one of the grey-streaked concrete towers of the Barbican, which guard the northern approaches to the City. It was only a fifteen-minute walk from the office, which we spent almost in silence as we dodged through traffic and commuters. The Barbican is a maze of concrete walkways and towers, which wind round the old walls and churches of the City at about twenty feet above street level. It is so disorienting that yellow lines painted on the walkway guide you to various places you may or may not want to go. A soulless place to live.

We eventually came to Hamilton's tower and took a lift to the top floor. His flat was small and convenient. Expensive, but unremarkable furniture provided most of the functions that someone needs, to live, but little more. The only pictures were a set of nineteenth-century prints of the abbeys of Scotland. Walls have to have pictures, but it would be difficult to find any greyer than these. I looked curiously through an open door where I could just see a desk.

'That's my study,' said Hamilton. 'Let me show you.'

We went into the next room. There was indeed a desk facing the window. The walls were lined from floor to ceiling with shelves and filing cabinets. Thousands of books and papers were held in that small room. It was a bit like a don's room at a university, except that it was perfectly tidy. Everything was in its place. The desk was completely bare except for a computer.