John Grisham - Bleechers

The window was filled with books and advertised coffee and lunch. The door squeaked, a bell rattled, and for a momentNeely was stepping back in time. Then he got the first whiff of incense, and he knew Nat ran the place. The owner himself, hauling a stack of books, stepped from between two saggy shelves, and with a smile, said, "Good morning. Lookin' for something?"

Then he froze and the books fell to the floor."Neely Crenshaw!" He lunged with as much awkwardness as he'd used punting a football, and the two embraced, a clumsy hug in whichNeely caught a sharp elbow on his bicep. "It's great to see you!" Nat gushed, and for a second his eyes were wet.

"Good to see you, Nat," Neely said, slightly embarrassed. Fortunately, at that moment, there was only one other customer.

"You're looking at my earrings, aren't you?" Nat said, taking a step back.

"Well, yes, you have quite a collection." Each ear was loaded with at least five silver rings.

"First male earrings in Messina, how about that?And the first ponytail.And the first openly gay downtown merchant.Aren't you proud of me?" Nat was flipping his long black hair to show off his ponytail.

"Sure, Nat.You're looking good."

Nat was sizing him up, from head to toe, his eyes flashing as if he'd been guzzling espresso for hours. "How's your knee?" he asked, glancing around as if the injury was a secret.

"Gone for good, Nat."

"Sonofabitch hit you late. I saw it." Nat had the authority of someone standing on the sideline that day at Tech.

"A long time ago, Nat.In another life."

"How about some coffee?I got some stuff from Guatemala that gives one helluva buzz."

They wove through shelves and racks to the rear where an impromptu cafe materialized. Nat walked, almost ran, behind a cluttered counter and began slinging utensils. Neely straddled a stool and watched. Nothing Nat did was graceful.

"They say he's got less than twenty-four hours," Nat said, rinsing a small pot.

"Rumors are always reliable around here, especially about Rake."

"No, this came from someone inside the house." The challenge in Messina was not to have the latest rumor, but to have the best source. "Wanna cigar? I got some smuggled Cubans. Another great buzz."

"No thanks. I don't smoke."

Nat was pouring water into a large, Italian-made machine. "What kinda work you doing?" he asked over his shoulder.

"Real estate."

"Man, that's original."

"Pays the bills.Pretty cool store you have here, Nat. Curry tells me you're doing well."

"I'm just trying to breathe some culture into this desert. Paul loaned me thirty thousand bucks to get started, can you believe that? I had nothing but an idea, and eight hundred bucks, and, of course, my mother was willing to sign the note."

"How's she doing?"

"Great, thanks. She refuses to age.Still teaching the third grade."

When the coffee was brewing properly, Nat leaned next to the small sink and stroked his bushy mustache. "Rake's gonna die,Neely , can you believe that?Messina without Eddie Rake. He started coaching here forty-four years ago. Half the people in this county weren't born then."

"Have you seen him?"

"He was in here a lot, but when he got sick he went home to die. Nobody's seen Rake in six months."

Neely glanced around."Rake was here?"

"Rake was my first customer. He encouraged me to open this place, gave me the standard pep talk—have no fear, work harder than the other guy, never say die—the usual halftime rah-rah. When I opened, he liked to sneak down here in the mornings for coffee. Guess he figured he was safe because there wasn't exactly a crowd. Most of the yokels thought they'd catch AIDS when they walked in the front door."

"When did you open?"

"Seven and a half years ago. Couldn't pay the light bill for the first two years, then it slowly came around. Rumor spread that this was Rake's favorite place, so the town got curious."

"I think the coffee's ready," Neely said as the machine hissed. "I never saw Rake read a book."

Nat poured two small cups, on saucers, and placed them on the counter.

"Smells potent," Neely said.

"It ought to require a prescription. Rake asked me one day what he might like to read. I gave him a Raymond Chandler. He came back the next day and asked for another. He loved the stuff. Then I gave him Dashiell Hammett. Then he went nuts over Elmore Leonard. I open ateight, one of the very few bookstores to do so, and once or twice a week Rake would come in early. We'd sit in the corner over there and talk about books; never football or politics, never gossip.Just books. He loved the detective stories. When we heard the bell ring on the front door, he would sneak out the back and go home."

"Why?"

Nat took a long sip of coffee, with the small cup disappearing into the depths of his unruly mustache. "We didn't talk about it much. Rake was embarrassed because he got sacked like that. He has enormous pride, something he taught us. But he also felt responsible for Scotty's death. A lot of people blamed him, and they always will. That's some serious baggage, man. You like the coffee?"

"Very strong.You miss him?"

Another slow sip."How can you not miss Rake once you've played for him? I see his face every day. I hear his voice. I can smell him sweating. I can feel him hitting me, with no pads on. I can imitate his growl, his grumbling,his bitching. I remember his stories, his speeches,his lessons. I remember all forty plays and all thirty-eight games when I wore the jersey. My father died four years ago and I loved him dearly, but, and this is hard to say, he had less influence on me than Eddie Rake." Nat paused in mid-thought just long enough to pour more coffee. "Later, when I opened this place and got to know him as something other than a legend, when I wasn't worried about getting screamed at for screwing up, I grew to adore the old fart. Eddie Rake's not a sweet man, but he is human. He suffered greatly after Scotty's death, and he had no one to turn to. He prayed a lot, went to Mass every morning. I think fiction helped him; it was a new world. He got lost in books, hundreds of them, maybe thousands."A quick sip."I miss him, sitting over there, talking about books and authors so he wouldn't have to talk about football."

The bell on the front door rattled softly in the distance. Nat shrugged it off and said, "They'll find us. You want a muffin or something?"

"No. I ate at Renfrow's. Everything's the same there. Same grease, same menu, same flies."

"Same bubbas sitting around bitchin' 'cause the team ain't undefeated."

"Yep.You go to the games?"

"Naw.When you're the only openly gay dude in a town like this, you don't enjoy crowds. People stare and point and whisper and grab their children, and, while I'm used to it, I'd rather avoid the scene. And I'd either go alone, which is no fun, or I'd take a date, which would stop the game. Can you imagine me walking in with some cute boy, holding hands? They'd stone us."

"How'd you manage to come out of the closet in this town?"

Nat put the coffee down and thrust his hands deep into the pockets of his highly starched and pressed jeans.

"Not here, man. After we graduated, I sort of migrated to D.C., where it didn't take me long to figure out who I am and what I am. I didn't sneak out of the closet,Neely, I kicked the damned door down. I got a job in a bookstore and learned the business. I lived the wild life for five years, had a ball, but then I got tired of the city. Frankly, I got homesick. My dad's health was declining, and I needed to come home. I had a long talk with Rake. I told him the truth. Eddie Rake was the first person here I confided in."

"What was his reaction?"

"He said he didn't know much about gay people, but if I knew who I was, then to hell with everybody else. 'Go live your life, son,' he said. 'Some folks'll hate you, some folks'll love you,most folks haven't made up their minds. It's up to you.' "