Iris Johansen - Pandora's Daughter

"You're reaching, aren't you?" Renata asked gently.

Megan's hand tightened on Phillip's. Feel me, friend, know I'm here. Let's work through it together. "Yes. But hope can work miracles. I've seen it. It was a miracle that Davy got away from Molino without harm." She changed the subject. "Where are Grady and Harley? Still at Molino's place? Grady dropped me off and told me he was going back to join Venable. They're trying to gather information from Molino's files about the bandits and sleazebags Molino was working with."

Renata nodded. "Harley's there too. I told him to look for any records concerning victims. I need to find Adia."

Megan had a poignant memory of that little pink dress belonging to the child. "Of course, we do." She paused. "I wanted to thank you for risking those pages of the Ledger to buy me time with Molino. I know it was difficult for you to give them up."

"No, it wasn't."

Megan stared at her in disbelief.

Renata smiled. "Well, it would have been difficult if they had been Ledger pages."

Megan's eyes widened. "But you said they'd tested positive for antiquity."

"When I took over guardianship of the Ledger, I had Mark create two counterfeit ledgers. No genuine names or addresses, but the paper was treated to make it test positive for antiquity. I thought that maybe Edmund might not have died if he'd had something to give those bastards until he could find a way to escape." She shrugged. "I brought one of the copies with me when we left Munich in case I found a way to set a trap for Molino."

Megan had a sudden memory of how reluctant Renata had been to have anyone touch her suitcases. "You didn't tell us."

She grimaced. "We've already established I'm not good at sharing."

"Oh, I don't know. I believe you're getting the knack of it." She had a sudden thought. "I'm surprised the family hasn't put the Ledger on computer disk. Wouldn't it be safer?"

"It depends on how you look at it. Computer records are more readily accessible. If stolen they could be copied in five seconds and we might not know it was done in time to protect the family. Edmund started to try to put the records on a disk to be sealed away with the originals, but it's a nightmare process. The only person who has access to the ledger is the Keeper."

"That means it's up to you?"

She nodded. "I'll try to do it, but it's not high on my priority list. We can't scan it because it was handwritten by different people and there might be blurring and discrepancies. We have to destroy hard drives every time we make an entry to make sure no fragment of data can be retrieved. We can't trust the software that supposedly wipes them clean. And there isn't only one volume to the Ledger. The family has been growing for centuries." She made a face. "And I assure you that as the Keeper I have other things to do besides sit and enter data. It's enough that I'm able to do the entries into the original ledger."

"It does sound like a nightmare." Megan studied her face. "What if you'd had the real Ledger in that suitcase? Would you have used it?"

"No." She moistened her lips. "I'd like to tell you I would but I'd be lying. I couldn't do it. I care about you but I wouldn't take a-"

"Stop agonizing. It's okay, Renata," she said gently. "I wasn't backing you into a corner. I always knew that would be your priority."

"I'd have found another way. I wouldn't have let Molino-"

"You did find another way."

"But I always thought any decision connected with the Ledger would be simple, black and white. Nothing's black and white any longer."

"Good."

"Not for me. It's going to be much harder for me." She made a face. "And it's your fault. You've made me question things I've believed all my life." Her glance shifted to Phillip. "Was your life really worth the risk when you may never bring him back?"

"It was to me. I love Phillip."

She shook her head. "No reason. Just emotion."

Megan smiled. "And you're all reason and no emotion. At least, you try to be. But you're slipping, aren't you?"

"I'll get back on the right track." She moved across the room to stand beside Megan. "I have to go. Mark called me and said that it would be smart to fade away into the sunset. Too many people know that I'm connected to the Ledger now."

"Only the CIA."

"The CIA is composed of people with opinions, ambitions, and their own agendas."

"You don't trust them."

"I don't have the right to trust them. The Ledger is more exposed to threat now than it has been for hundreds of years."

"And it has to be protected."

"You don't understand that?"

"I understand that you have a right to your life too."

"I'm not going to give up my life. I'll just have to make adjustments." She paused. "Like you're going to have to do. You're a Listener. Every now and then you'll hear your voices and have to choose to ignore or try to help as you did Edmund."

"I don't want to think about that now."

Renata was silent. "Then think about being a Pandora."

Megan shook her head emphatically. "I told you, Molino was nuts. He wanted Sienna dead and constructed a scenario that would agree with his fantasies."

"Harley said Molino was scared shitless when you threatened to touch him at the cliff."

"It was the only weapon I had." She smiled mirthlessly. "And he was out of his head. It was fitting that he killed himself because of his own delusions. It was almost as if my mother was finally able to get her revenge."

"And you're sure you're not building your own scenarios?"

She stiffened. "I'm being practical and reasonable. You of all people should appreciate that."

Renata squatted beside her chair. "Megan," she said gently. "We need to talk."

GRADY MET MEGAN WHEN THE helicopter landed on the landing pad at Molino's place two hours later. "What's wrong? I told you that I'd join you as soon as I-"

"She couldn't wait." Renata got out of the pilot's seat and jumped to the ground. "I tried to tell her that a few more hours wouldn't-"

"Renata, I may have found a lead on Adia." Harley was walking toward them. "Venable is being very close with those records, but there's a big file Molino kept that was cross-referenced with Hedda Kipler's activities. You said that she brought Molino that dress as a trophy?"

"Right."

"Well, if Grady can pry those records away from Venable, I may be able to trace-"

"Later," Megan said curtly. "Come with me. I don't want to be stumbling over any of Venable's men." She turned and headed for the small utility shack a few yards from the helicopter pad. She turned on the bare lightbulb hanging from the ceiling of the shack. "I want this over quickly."

"Phillip?" Grady said gently. "He didn't make it?"

"He's still alive. If you can call that coma being alive. But that's not why I'm here."

Grady's gaze was narrowed on her face. "You're excited. You're tense but I can practically feel the-What's happening?"

"Something good for a change." Her hands were opening and closing at her sides. "Renata, do it."

But Renata already had her shirt unbuttoned. She slipped the bra straps off her shoulders. "It's a good thing I have no false modesty. I'm getting a little tired of-"

"My God," Grady whispered.

Megan took a step closer and touched Renata's shoulder. "No wound. No scarring. The skin is smooth as silk. It's as if she'd never had a bullet tear through her shoulder."

Harley gave a low whistle. "What happened? What on earth did you do, Megan?"

"Nothing." Megan paused. "You did it, Harley."

He stared at her, stunned. He shook his head. "Bullshit."

"That's what I said when Renata showed me her shoulder at Bellehaven. I was looking for any explanation that wouldn't lead to you." She added grimly, "Believe me; I didn't want it to be you, Harley. Because that would mean I had to accept the unacceptable."