Iris Johansen - Pandora's Daughter

"Dear God."

"He didn't know where it was. He wasn't the Keeper. He underwent years of starvation and torture. When he was released from the camp at the end of the war, he was in such poor condition he died four months later. But during the war years we were able to smuggle most of the Devanez family out of Germany to safety. Six hundred and twenty-five people crossed the borders and were settled in other countries." She added deliberately, "Because we had their names and where they were located. Because we had the Ledger. There will always be Torquemadas and Molinos and Hitlers in the world. We just have to be ready for them." She lifted her cup. "So that we can crush the bastards like cockroaches."

"It appears you've been running from those cockroaches."

She shrugged. "You're right; I have a problem with that too. I promised Edmund I wouldn't risk the Ledger. I'll keep my promise." She added, "But I won't let Molino live after what he did to Edmund. So use me to trap the son of a bitch." No.

"Think about it." She set the cup on the counter. "I'll give you a day or two to change your mind. You know where to find me."

"If you don't decide to scurry out the root cellar again," Harley said from behind Megan. "I let myself in after waiting a discreet amount of time. She obviously wanted to talk to you without an audience." He looked from Renata to Megan. "Are you finished with your discussion? I'll escort her back to her cottage."

Renata tilted her head. "You knew about the root cellar?"

"Most of these cottages have root cellars. I checked with the landlord who rented me this cottage and he told me that your rental was very interesting. That's why I set up shop in a spot where I could watch the front door and the tunnel exit."

"That was very clever of you," she said slowly.

"I have my moments." He glanced at Megan. "You didn't answer me."

"I believe Renata has said all she wants to say."

"Then I'll take her home. I don't think you'll have to ask Grady to watch her cottage. It wouldn't do much good. I went inside the cottage after I saw her come here and she has enough hi-tech equipment and weapons to rival James Bond."

Megan's brows lifted. "Cousin Mark?"

"Of course," Renata said simply. "He believes in being prepared for any eventuality. He's been training me since my parents died."

"Training you to guard the Ledger?"

"And to survive scumbags like Molino." She headed for the front door. "I contacted Mark last night after I reached the cottage and asked him to try to find out who Molino might use now that Falbon is dead." She opened the door. "Molino will probably be eager and moving fast now." She glanced back at Megan. "Speed can cause mistakes. He'd jump at getting his hands on me. We have an opportunity."

Megan shook her head. "I won't risk you."

Renata shook her head in exasperation. "You don't understand. I want this."

Megan shook her head again.

"Stubborn." She was silent a moment. "I'd feel… touched by your concern if it wasn't getting in the way. No one has tried to protect me for a long time." She crooked her finger at Harley. "If you're coming, let's go. And if you try to go in my cottage again when I'm not there, you'll get an unpleasant surprise. Booby traps are easy to rig. I didn't give you warning before, but you have it now."

"Duly noted." Harley moved after her. "Megan, I'll be back in a few minutes."

Megan watched the door swing shut behind them.

Dammit, Renata was being difficult as the devil. She had called Megan stubborn, but the woman was just as obstinate. She wanted everything her way and she wasn't about to listen to reason.

And Renata's way would put her squarely into Molino's path. Why wouldn't she let Megan and Grady have the Ledger to use as a decoy instead of her? Life was precious.

Yet Megan was beginning to understand the passion that drove her. The story she had told her about her great-grandfather's death at Auschwitz had shone a light on the persecution and need for self-preservation that had driven the Devanez family for centuries. They had saved hundreds of lives because they had kept accurate records in the ledger. What other stories of sacrifice and salvation existed in the history of the book? Renata probably knew them all. She had lived and breathed the Devanez family from childhood. Edmund had died for the Ledger. It had not been an idealistic abstract concept to him. He had wanted to save lives and the Ledger was the key.

"You're frowning. What's wrong?"

She looked up to see Grady standing in the doorway. His dark hair was wet from the shower and he looked lean and tough in jeans and a dark green shirt. She felt a little jolt of pleasure as she saw him. He hadn't been out of her sight for much more than the thirty minutes he'd told her he'd be and she was feeling this response. "Renata paid us a visit." She turned and got him a cup down from the cabinet. "Sit down and I'll tell you about it."

"SHE'S RIGHT," GRADY STARED down into the coffee in his cup. "It could be an opportunity."

Megan stiffened. "What do you mean? We are not going to use her, Grady."

"I'd bet she wants to use us. She's no victim."

"Just because it's her idea is no reason we have to help her. And she could be a victim if anything went wrong. She's as obsessed with the Ledger as Edmund. She doesn't believe Molino can beat her, but if it came down to choices, she'd never let him have the Ledger." She shivered. "She'd reach for that jagged piece of mirror just like Edmund did. And the scary thing is that I'm starting to understand why."

"Forget it," he said sharply. "You're beginning to identify with the family. Dammit, this is what I was afraid would happen."

"I'm not identifying. I just understand."

"Keep it that way." He reached across the table and grasped her hand. "Listen. Your emotional response in ordinary situations is extreme. Imagine what it would be if you accepted yourself as one of the Devanez family with all the accompanying baggage. Strangers in pain or jeopardy hurt you. When Phillip was shot, you were in agony. Empathy with this family would send you over the top."

She shook her head. "Family is just a word. I don't know any of these people but Renata."

"But you're already hurting for them." His hand tightened. "Don't be drawn in, Megan."

She smiled faintly. "But you're the one who drew me in. You sent me to get the Ledger. The family has the Ledger and evidently I can't get it without them. It's a Catch-Twenty-two."

"Distance yourself. That's the only way to-" He stopped and shook his head. "What am I saying? You don't know how to distance yourself. It against your basic makeup. You're even having trouble convincing yourself to distance yourself from me."

She looked down at their hands. His grasp felt good, safe. He was right, she didn't want to let go of that strength. She deliberately drew her hand away. "But I can do it. You talk as if I'm some kind of emotion-charged junky. I can do anything I have to do. I can walk away whenever I want to do it."

"But it hurts you more than it would other people," he said softly. "And if you're a junky, then I wouldn't have it any other way. You shine, you glow, you burn. I feel warm inside just being with you."

She didn't know what to say. The melting sensation deep within her that was like nothing she'd ever felt before. She wanted to reach back across the table and touch him.

And then she'd be back where she'd been when she'd gotten out of his bed only a short time ago. "We were talking about Renata."

"Yes." He leaned back in his chair. "And you want to get back on an impersonal subject. But nothing is impersonal between us. Haven't you found that out? We start out perfectly cool and practical and then it all goes downhill. You're wondering if I'm going to touch you. No, not right now. I can hold off since you're obviously suffering an overload. But it will happen. I can't help it." He smiled. "But we'll try to backtrack and give you some breathing space."