Patricia Rosemoor - Skin

How dare Anna cheat on him?

He’d arrived at the club at the last minute, hoping to catch Anna, to tell her the good news that they could have the house to themselves tonight. A friend of Grandmother’s had taken a turn for the worse, and she was holding a vigil at the nursing home. It wasn’t often that he had unimpeded run of the house.

He’d envisioned himself and Anna naked, playing sex games in every room of the house… maybe even taking their play downstairs where he would do her in a top-of-the-line coffin. This time he would finish it. This time he would be hard enough, long enough to enter her and satisfy her.

He was hard now.

Mewling with disappointment, he unzipped his trousers. How he ached for her. He began stroking himself. Imagining Anna sprawled on his bed, handcuffed, begging him to take her.

“Hey, sweetheart, need some help with that?” asked a husky voice from behind him.

“How much?”

He never even looked at her, didn’t want to see what the whore looked like. In his mind, he envisioned long dark hair, dark eyes and an angelic face.

“Well, you’re already started,” the husky voice said. “Cab fare would do. Make it a twenty and you’ve got a deal.”

He gave her the money, and they moved closer to the brick building on the other side of the alley. She knelt before him and took him in her mouth.

“Aah! Hot and wet, you’re so hot and wet for me, Anna.”

She gave good head, sucking and pulling at him, raking him with her teeth, stroking him with the tips of her nails. Eyes closed, he tangled his fingers in her hair and imagined she was Anna. He could see her eyes widen as he pushed her into the wall and shoved himself in as deep as he could. In his mind, Anna’s face gradually transformed, becoming Melinda’s. His sister appeared dazed and grateful that she finally saw him for who he was. Unable to hold on any longer, he let go.

Whimpering, he opened his eyes, saw the woman still attached to him and shoved her off. Wiping her mouth, she cowered against the wall as if she were afraid.

A fact that made him smile in satisfaction as he walked away.

LILITH HAD INHERITED her green thumb and affinity to nature from Mama. Her favorite haunts weren’t shopping malls or dance clubs but conservatories and zoos. Luckily Elena shared her interest, so she set out for the Botanic Gardens with her on Sunday afternoon. Her way of distracting herself. Otherwise she would sit at home, waiting for Hannah to call and be disappointed yet again. She couldn’t force Hannah to take her back into her life.

They spent the morning having breakfast overlooking a waterfowl pond, followed by walks through the rose garden and across the Japanese islands. A good, if temporary, distraction for the thing really bothering her.

On the train ride home, Lilith decided to tell Elena about finding her sister.

“You know that ad for Club Paradise? The reason the woman in the ad looked like me… that was my sister. I finally found her.”

Elena gaped at her. “You’re sure it was Hannah?”

“I went to the club myself, Elena. Unfortunately, Hannah wasn’t exactly glad to see me. She thinks I don’t love her. She’s changed so much. Hardened. I can only imagine what she suffered through all these years. I might have recognized her, but she isn’t the same person I remember. Her innocence is long gone.”

“Hey, Lilith, we were all innocent once.”

Lilith’s heart grew heavy as she thought about it. “Now the question is, how do I rebuild my relationship with her?”

“That’s a tough one. Take it slow, I guess. Let her know you’re open to her being in your life and see her reaction.”

“So far, her reaction isn’t good. She blames me, Elena, because I abandoned her.”

“You didn’t abandon her. You went to school so you could get a decent job.”

“Try convincing her of that.”

If only she could understand Hannah’s satisfaction with her life, Lilith thought. Why would any woman want to take a job where she was just a thing to a man? Maybe because she’d never learned to respect herself. How could she, living with a stepfather whose sole purpose in life had been terrorizing women.

She let the subject drop. The rest of the ride played out in an uneasy silence.

When the conductor announced Elena’s stop, her friend said, “That’s me. Stay strong, honey. It’ll all work out. You’ll see.”

“From your lips.”

Lilith hugged Elena good-bye and prepared herself. Her stop came next.

Walking several blocks from the train station to her building, she decided she’d be best off giving Hannah breathing room, at least for a while, before trying to fix things between them. No matter what she thought of Hannah’s job, she wanted her sister close. Now if only that job weren’t so dangerous. To her dismay, she couldn’t save Hannah from herself.

As if thinking about Hannah had conjured her, Lilith spotted a Jaguar parked in front of her building. Her heart raced. She hadn’t thought she would see her sister so soon.

Hannah got out of the car and used a beeper to set its alarm. Dressed in hot pink capris and an embroidered top, her hair intricately French-braided, her feet encased in fancy heeled sandals, Hannah could be the girl next door.

Lilith wanted to rush over and envelop her little sister in a hug, but that hadn’t gone over too well last time, so she held back and, her insides a-tumble, walked the few yards to the car.

“This is some surprise.”

Her expression neutral, Hannah leaned back against the Jaguar and lit a cigarette. “Guess you didn’t expect to see me.”

“I’m really happy to see you, Hannah. I just don’t remember giving you my address.”

“You gave me your telephone number.” Hannah took a long drag, released the smoke over Lilith’s head, then said, “Reverse directory.”

“How resourceful.”

“You learn resourceful on the streets.”

On the streets. Lilith swallowed hard. Life must have been hell for a scared thirteen-year-old without a home.

Hannah asked, “So, who’s the kid? This Carmen. What’s her story? What are you doing with her? ”

Lilith noticed Hannah was playing with the cigarette, as if she were nervous.

“I’ve been trying to help Carmen stay in school, to help her see that there’s a world of possibilities out there, if only she wants something different from what she’s used to.”

Just as Hannah could, if only she would open her eyes.

“Doesn’t she have her own family?”

“She has a big family. Carmen is the oldest of nine kids.”

“Well, at least she’s got company. And on the plus side, she’s first to get new clothes, right?” Hannah joked. “No hand-me-downs.”

“They barely have the money for thrift shop purchases. Thank God for food stamps, or those kids wouldn’t eat.”

Lilith couldn’t miss Hannah’s stricken expression. She wondered how many times her sister had gone hungry. Or what she’d had to do for food. And unless she was crazy, Hannah was jealous of Carmen. Or of her relationship with the girl.

Quickly covering whatever she was feeling, Hannah dashed the cigarette to the sidewalk and ground it out under her heel. “So what’s her deal?”

“Carmen is smart and has decided she wants to finish high school and go to college. But her father just told her that since she’s seventeen, legally she can quit high school and go to work and buy shoes for her sisters and brothers instead.”

“He made all those babies, not her, the pig! So is she going to do it? Quit?”

“I hope not.”

Not that Lilith knew if she did have influence beyond Carmen herself. But she would try to talk to Carmen’s parents and ask them to think about their daughter’s future. About the futures of all the children.