David Handler - The Snow White Christmas Cookie

“Go right ahead,” Des responded.

He got up and lumbered out of the lounge, digging a rumpled pack of Camels out of the pocket of his coveralls.

Tina sat back down and set her phone on the table in front of her, gazing down at its screen every few seconds. She couldn’t keep her eyes off of it. “I guess you want to talk about Kylie.”

“That would be great.”

“I wish I could get through to her,” Tina said with a shake of her frizzy head. “All she thinks about are clothes and boys. I keep telling her, sweetie, you have got to figure out who you want to be. Otherwise you’ll end up like me-cleaning other people’s toilets for a living. Mind you, I make as much in a week as a lot of my customers do. And I could tell you some things that nobody else knows. Trust me, if you really want to find out what’s going on, ask a cleaning lady. But this isn’t the life I wanted for myself. I wanted to be a nurse. I want Kylie to be a nurse. Now I don’t know if that’ll even be possible with her ankle all busted up like that. A nurse has to be on her feet all day.” Tina looked at Des curiously. “What did you and Lem talk about?”

“He told me that you two have hit a rough patch.”

Tina bristled, her nostrils flaring. “If by that he means he’s mixed up again with that fancy tramp, Debbie, then I guess we have.”

“He said he isn’t mixed up with her.”

“And you believed him? He’s a man. Men lie.”

“Are you seeing someone else, too?”

“What gives you the right to ask me that?”

“I’m trying to assess the stability of Kylie’s home life for my report. My general impressions can be a determining factor in whether the district prosecutor decides to prosecute her case. But if you don’t want to talk to me…”

“No, no, I’ll talk to you.” Tina shot a furtive glance over her shoulder at the door. Lem was still outside having a smoke. “Yes, I do have a male friend. He’s sensitive and caring. He respects me. He loves me. Lem doesn’t anymore.”

“Want to tell me a little bit about him?”

“His name’s Matt. He works for Verizon. He’s married to someone else, too. A woman who doesn’t love him or understand him. Matt is here for me emotionally. He listens to me. And he’s incredibly affectionate. I don’t just mean the physical part. Although that’s been amazing. I swear, every time I think about him my heart starts beating so fast. Me and Lem haven’t exactly been burning up the sheets lately. And even back when we were he never took my needs into consideration. Matt does. He’s so romantic and nurturing.”

“Where did you two meet?”

“On a dating site. It was like he was my best friend instantly. Right away, I was telling him things that I’ve never told anyone. And so was he. It was totally amazing. He’s…” Tina hesitated, reddening. “Matt’s my soul mate. I’ve never been this close with anyone in my whole life. We must text back and forth a hundred times a day. Lem thinks I’m texting my mom. I’m not. It’s Matt. It’s always Matt.”

“Where does he live?”

“Just outside of Tacoma.”

“Tacoma, Washington ? How often are you able to be together?”

“We’re together constantly.”

“I mean in the flesh, Tina.”

“We haven’t been together that way yet. But real soon, we’re hoping.”

“Are you telling me you’re in love with a man who you’ve never met?”

Tina sighed at her impatiently. “Matt and I have an intense bond.”

“Meaning, what, you sext back and forth a lot?”

“You’re making it sound smutty. It’s not like that. What we have is romantic and intimate and so hot. I’ve done things with Matt that I’ve never done with Lem. He’s just so loving and tender. Know what he said to me just now while I was out in the hall?”

“Really can’t imagine.”

“He said ‘Every time I’m inside of you I feel like I’m where I was meant to be all along.’ Lem’s never felt that way about me. Not even when we were a couple of sex-crazed teenagers. And now he doesn’t even want me. He wants Debbie, who’s not even that good-looking anymore. Which Matt is, by the way. He’s tall and slim with good shoulders and strong hands. He has the most amazing blue eyes.”

“And you know this how?”

“He sends me pictures of himself.”

“Nude pictures?”

Tina reddened again, nodding. “And I send him pictures of me. I take them in the bathroom mirror with my phone.”

“You’re not worried that he might show them to someone else?”

“Matt would never do that to me. Our relationship is built on trust.”

“And what about Lem? Aren’t you afraid he might find a nude photo of Matt on your computer?”

“Lem doesn’t want me anymore, I told you.”

“That’s right, you did,” Des said with a twinge of profound sadness. Not because what Tina Champlain was telling her was shocking, but because it wasn’t. The Champlains were just a typical modern Dorset family. None of them were participating in their own lives. Instead of working toward a genuine career, Kylie wanted to be a reality TV star. Tina was more emotionally and sexually involved with her cell phone than with her husband. And Lem was reliving his glory days with his first girlfriend while Champlain Landscaping seemed to be circling the drain. Kylie had stolen a pair of four-hundred-dollar Ugg boots to keep her dream alive. Tina was sending and receiving pornographic text messages and photographs. What was Lem resorting to? Was he siphoning off money from his own business to pay for those trysts with Debbie at the Mohegan Sun? Was he stealing prescription meds, gift cards and Hank Merrill’s Christmas tips? “Tina, this is the part where I have to tell you something you won’t want to hear.”

Tina frowned at her. “About Kylie?”

“About Matt . You have no idea who he really is, okay? Matt could be some sleaze in Croatia who’s peddling those pictures of you on a porn site. Matt could be the online identity of a half-dozen horny sophomores in a frat house somewhere. Matt could be a predator who’s looking to steal your identity or nuke your credit.”

Tina’s eyes hardened. “Why would you say something horrible like that?”

“Because it’s my job to look out for you. I’ve seen what can happen. I’ve seen an innocent blond schoolgirl who thought she was meeting up at West Farms Mall with this nice high school boy she’d met on Facebook. There was no nice high school boy. She was abducted and gang raped by a wolf pack for forty-eight hours straight before they left her for dead.”

“Des, I’m not fourteen years old. I know what I’m doing. But I get where you’re coming from.”

“Do you?”

“Absolutely. You think I’m stupid.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yeah, you do,” Tina said angrily. “So stupid that I can’t even tell what’s real. What I have with Matt is real . The way we make each other feel is real. He’s the best thing that’s happened to me in years and don’t you tell me otherwise. My daughter may never walk normal again. And she may go to jail. How dare you show up here and crap all over the one good thing I have going on in my life? Who in the hell do you think you are?”

“I need a second opinion here, doughboy. Is Tina just playing harmless X-rated cyber-games or is she cheating on her husband?”

“It’s no game. She’s totally cheating on Lem.”

“Even though she and Matt have never actually bumped skin?”

“Tina’s emotionally and sexually involved with the guy. That means she’s having an affair with him.”