John Matthews - Ascension Day

But as the miles rolled by, Jac felt the waves of tiredness come back. As if the caffeine could only keep him going for so long — his hands shaking increasingly on the steering wheel, combined with the high-speed vibrations of the car on the often rough road surface, starting to set off tremors through his entire body. That shaking, along with the wild adrenalin rush of the past days and hours, all that was keeping him going — and when that fever-pitch hit overload and he finally burnt out, the rest would come crashing back in: the tension, the lack of sleep, the emotional drain, the dog-tired exhaustion — mental and physical — the feeling at times that he could hardly make it another yard, let alone hundreds of miles.

And as the caffeine and his body’s nervous tension lost its last grip, he’d fall asleep. The snap of a finger, blink of an eye as he sped along.

Twice already he’d pulled himself sharply back awake, a shudder running through him as he realized that sleep had grabbed him for a second, maybe two; and as it mugged him for a third time, forty-five kilometres before Trinidad, he was suddenly reminded of caution two, potholes , with a bang.

As Jac’s eyes snapped sharply open, he thought for a second that he’d swerved into a ditch or side-shoulder — but then he saw the truck coming straight towards him. The pothole had jolted him into the oncoming lane! Jac swung sharply back again, braking, the truck also braking then and missing him by only a couple of yards, its horn blaring hard as it swept past.

Jac kept going — the truck had slowed to almost a stop as Jac looked in his mirror — and a mile further on, when it was safely out of sight, he pulled over, closing his eyes as he waited for his wild trembling to settle. Madness! Madness !

But it was hardly any better after almost two minutes of slow, deep breaths, and Jac feared that if he kept his eyes closed any longer, he might fall asleep. And so he pulled out again, turned the radio up loud so that hopefully Perez Prado and Benny More could keep him awake, grabbed a coffee at the first stop seven kilometres up the road, then stopped again 80k beyond Trinidad for another to keep him going.

Fuelled by that mix of caffeine, mambo-rhythms and adrenalin-staved exhaustion, his eyes red-rimmed, nerves ragged, he finally ran up the steps of the Sancti Spiritus post office at 12.53 p.m.

The man he approached at the counter ahead had limited English, but when Jac showed him the mailbox number, he pointed to a side counter. ‘Amparo… she do correos apartados .’

Thankfully, Amparo’s English was far better, but as Jac explained what he wanted, she started to frown.

‘I’m sorry, senor. I’m not allowed to give out the addresses of people holding boxes — apartados . It’s against regulations.’

‘But, please . This is very important. I’m an American lawyer,’ Jac slid Ayliss’s card across the counter, ‘and a man’s life depends on this information. It’s vital that I locate the holder of this mailbox urgently.’

‘I understand, senor. But it really is difficult… impossible for me to give that information.’ Amparo inclined her head in apology as she said it. A striking woman in her late forties, with soft brown eyes and the first tinge of salt in her black hair, Jac could imagine that twenty years ago she’d been stunning.

Plan two . But as Jac turned his palm on the counter to reveal two fifty-dollar bills, he knew instantly it was a mistake. Her eyes hardened again; she looked genuinely offended.

‘That… that won’t do any good. The regulations are very strict.’ This time as she said it, her eyes glanced to one side, as if unseen eyes might be watching them.

Jac closed his eyes for a second. Oh God ! For it all to end here with soft-eyed, hard-eyed Amparo.

‘There is one thing I could suggest,’ Amparo said, a more hopeful tone as she flicked a page in a leather-bound register to one side. ‘I notice there’s a package arrived for that apartado today — which means the postman will put a notification through their door tomorrow. If you want to leave a message here, I can make sure they get it when they pick up the package in a day or two.’

‘That’ll be too late,’ Jac said with a heavy sigh, his eyes closing fleetingly again. Plan three . He could still feel all the bubbling tension of the long drive, and his hand shook heavily as he unfolded the newspaper clipping from his pocket and spread it before her. ‘You see this man here — Larry Durrant! He’s going to die tonight at six o’clock, unless I can speak first to the man who has this mailbox.’ Jac prodded the article with one finger, his voice rising. ‘You see the day for him dying here… la fecha . It’s today! And that … that’s me mentioned there — Darrell Ayliss.’ Jac took Ayliss’s passport out and turned it towards her, as if her doubting him might be part of the problem. ‘You see now why it’s vital I contact this man, and why I… I don’t have much time left. Because after six o’clock tonight, it’ll be… be too — ’

The emotions suddenly rose in Jac’s throat, choked off the rest of his words. He hadn’t planned this part of it, even though, as the tears welled in his eyes and started running down his cheeks, his breaking down had softened Amparo more than anything else so far; she looked close to relenting.

As he’d mentioned time and looked towards the clock, he’d suddenly had an image of Larry looking at the clock by the death chamber at that moment, wondering what had happened to him, whether Jac was just another in a long line of people to desert him, let him down; until now, in his dying hours, there was finally nobody left. Forty hours since he’d last spoken to Larry, when he’d told him he was chasing down some final, vital leads… and now !

‘I’m sorry, senor. So sorry.’ Amparo reached one hand across the counter to touch his arm. ‘If I could help — I truly would.’

And looking back at Amparo at that moment, her eyes glistening with emotion, he believed her. She would. If she could .

‘That’s okay. I… I understand.’ And, embarrassed by his tears and worried that if he stayed a second longer, he’d break down completely, Jac turned and walked away, his step echoing emptily on the marble floor of the correos … footsteps through Libreville … Larry’s last steps towards the death chamber, with now nothing left to stop him dying …

He should have turned his back and walked away on day one, left Larry as he was then, at peace and ready to go to his God, instead of filling his head with false hope and empty promises.

The tears streamed down Jac’s face as he walked away, his shoulders slumping more with each step. All over. All over . Apart from Stratton’s snowball in hell — more false hope — nothing left to do.

Jac wiped at his tears with the back of one hand, and, the catharsis already half spent as he reached the steps of the Sancti-Spiritus correos and took a fresh breath of the air outside, all that was left was to take a leaf out of his father’s book, look to the bright side , consoling himself that he’d done everything he could, everything ; far, far more than anyone else would have. And now at least he’d be able to sleep… no doubt for three days solid. Find a small local hotel and -

The touch against his arm made him jump. Amparo !

She handed him a piece of paper, still glancing around for those unseen eyes. ‘This is the holder of that apartado. On the coast near Tunas de Zaza.’

Jac looked at it: Brent Calbrey, Villa Delarcos. ‘How far?’