Cheryl Tardif - Children of the Fog

“I think he just pulled in,” Leah said behind her.

A few minutes later, Philip walked into the house. Ignoring Sadie, he tossed his briefcase on the dining room table and sent an irritated look in Leah’s direction.

“What’s for supper?” he asked, eyes flashing.

“KFC,” Sadie replied. “It’s in the fridge.”

His mouth thinned as he eyed Leah, his disapproving gaze moving from her head to her feet and back up again. “What, another sleazy party tonight?”

“Nope,” Leah said dryly. “Not unless you know where a good one is.”

“Aw, bite me.”

“I would, Phil, but I don’t eat pork.”

Philip’s eyes narrowed and he strode out of the kitchen.

“Time for me to go, Sadie,” Leah said, chagrined. “I feel a storm a brewin’. Sorry, hon.”

“ I’m sorry. I don’t know why he has to be so rude to you.”

“He’s jealous of our friendship. But no worries. We’re friends for life. Right?”

Sadie hugged her. “For life.”

As she changed into an oversized t-shirt for bed, Sadie threw a hesitant glance in Philip’s direction. He’d hardly said a word to her since Leah had left. No, “how was your day, Sadie?” Or, “what did you do today?”

“Any new developments in your case?” she asked hesitantly.

Philip grunted as he peeled off his pants. “You know I can’t discuss it.”

Then talk to me about something else.

She tried again. “Sam had a great day at school today.”

Philip paused in the doorway to the bathroom. “Did he say something?”

She bit her bottom lip and shook her head.

“Then he didn’t have a great day,” he said with a scowl.

When the bathroom door closed behind him, she slumped on the edge of the bed. She didn’t understand what was going on with him. Why was he so distant, so cruel?

Sliding between the cool sheets, she stared at the spackled ceiling, wondering how much more indifference she could take. Philip had always been driven by his passion for success. He handled multinational corporate trials with ease, winning his fair share of high-profile cases. He kept long hours and often slept on the sofa bed in his office.

Or so he said.

The bathroom door creaked.

She rolled away, just before Philip turned off the lamp and climbed into bed beside her. A whiff of floral perfume emanated from his body. The perfume wasn’t hers. It had traces of honeysuckle. Sadie hated honeysuckle.

Feigning sleep, she waited for his breathing to slow. Or for the snoring to begin. For a long moment, she wondered whether she should say something. Then she felt heavy breathing in her ear, and a hand fumbled beneath the t-shirt and stroked her thigh.

“I need you to help me with a little problem, Sadie.”

You haven’t needed me for a long time, she itched to say. Now you want sex? What about my needs?

“I need to talk,” she said when Philip reached higher.

His hand froze. “What about?”

“You know what. I think we need help.”

He snatched his hand away as if her words had burned him.

“If you want to see a shrink, go see one.”

“Both of us,” she insisted.

The mattress shifted.

She sat up, turned on the lamp.

Philip stood beside the bed, wearing nothing but a rapidly dwindling erection. He sent her a piercing stare, glaring at her as though she had lost her mind.

Had she?

“I don’t need a goddamn shrink, Sadie. I’m not the one with the problem.”

“Our marriage is in trouble,” she said, scrambling from the bed. “We need counseling. If you won’t do it for me, then at least do it for Sam’s sake. Please!”

“Sam’s sake? Jesus Christ, Sadie! Everything lately has been for Sam’s sake. We moved out of the apartment into this house for him. Now I have to drive almost an hour instead of fifteen minutes to get to the off—”

“That apartment wasn’t suitable for raising a child.”

Philip stabbed a finger in the air. “ You once thought it was the perfect place for us. Until your meddling friend got her nose out of joint.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Leah had nothing to do with why I wanted to leave that apartment.”

“She’s changed you, Sadie. So has Sam. If you can’t see that…” He shrugged.

She stared at him, baffled. “Of course having a child changed me. What did you expect? There’s someone else to consider now, not just the two of us.”

Philip’s jaw flinched, but he remained silent.

“My God,” she whispered. “You’re jealous of him? Of Sam?”

Philip let out an angry huff, grabbed a pillow and stalked toward the door. “I am not jealous of my son. I just don’t like the changes I see in you.” Cursing, he stormed out of the room.

“And I don’t like the changes I see in you,” she mumbled, slumping on the bed. Why am I still with him?

That was a stupid question, of course. She stayed because of Sam. Because a small part of her still believed that Philip could change. Would change.

She recalled the night her life began to crumble.

“I don’t want kids,” he’d told her. “I’m happy with the way things are. I don’t understand why you’d want to jeopardize everything.”

“What would be jeopardized?” she’d asked, stunned. “You’d still have your career and I’d have mine. But I want children too.”

“Well, I don’t.”

That was the end of that discussion.

Believing he’d change his mind and feeling she had no other choice, she secretly went off the pill. Bad move. When Philip discovered the unopened prescription box, he refused to speak to her for the rest of the day. A week later, she found out she was pregnant. She was ecstatic. Philip was pissed. He screamed at her, calling her a conniving bitch.

She miscarried the next day.

Yeah, they’d been the happy couple, the envy of all their friends, especially the ones who thought Sadie and Philip had everything. They didn’t realize that she was putting on a façade. In public, she’d smile and tell everyone that things were wonderful. However, in private…

There was no denying it. She was a miserable mess.

It started with the occasional drink before bed. To calm her nerves since Philip was always late. But one drink became two. Then three. Before she knew it, she started drinking during the day, hiding bottles where Philip would never find them.

A second miscarriage sent her into a bout of severe depression and she was sure she was being punished, that she’d never have a baby. She spent most nights with her other ‘best friend’—a bottle of rum.

Then Philip started staying out later and later.

Her life changed forever the night that he was promoted to partner. At a special banquet, a new partner and his wife were celebrating the arrival of a baby boy. The attention they received and the accolades from the senior law partners made Philip reconsider the idea of children. Suddenly, having a child seemed the perfect way to elevate his social and professional status.

A year later, Sam was born.

Sadie had quit drinking the moment she found out she was pregnant. It had been rough at first, but with Leah’s help and Sam as the reward, she’d fought all her demons and won.

She’d been sober ever since.

As she slipped into bed, she clamped her eyes shut, blocking off tears that threatened to escape. She was not going to cry. Not over Philip.

Outside, a dog barked.

“I guess a puppy for Sam is out of the question then.”

It seemed as though she had just closed her eyes, when the sound of breaking glass woke her. A piercing scream sent her heart racing and she flew out of bed.

When she left her bedroom, the first thing she noticed was the chill that swept down the hall. The second thing she saw was Sam’s half-open door.