Chester Himes - The real cool killers

"Hell, we can hold the prisoner for ransom," Choo-Choo said.

"Who'd ransom that nigger," Sheik said. "I bet even his own mamma wouldn't pay to get him back." "He can ransom hisself," Choo-Choo said. "He got a shine parlor, ain't he? Shine parlors make good dough. Maybe he's got a chariot too." "Hell, I knew all along he was valuable," Sheik said. "That's why I had us snatch him." "We can take over his shine parlor," Choo-Choo said. "I got some other plans too," Sheik said. "Maybe we can sell him to the Stars of David for some zip guns. They got lots of zip guns and they're scared to use them." "We could do that or we could swap him to the Puerto Rican Bandits for Burrhead. We promised Burrhead we'd pay his ransom and they been saying if we don't hurry up and get 'im they're gonna cut his throat." "Let 'em cut the black mother-raper's throat," Sheik said. "That chicken-hearted bastard ain't no good to us." "I tell you what, Sheik," Choo-Choo said exuberantly. "We could put him in a sack like them ancient cats like the Dutchman and them used to do and throw him into the Harlem river. I've always wanted to put some bastard into a sack." "You know how to put a mother-raper into a sack?" Sheik asked. "Sure, you — " "Shut up, I'm gonna to tell you how. You knock the mother-raper unconscious first; that's to keep him from jumping about. Then you put a noose with a slip-knot 'round his neck. Then you double him up into a Z and tie the other end of the wire around his knees. Then when you put him in the gunny sack you got to be sure it's big enough to give him some space to move around in. When the motherraper wakes up and tries to straighten out he chokes hisself to death. Ain't nobody killed 'im. The mother-raper has just committed suicide." Sheik rolled with laughter. "You got to tie his hands behind his back first," ChooChoo said. Sheik stopped laughing and his face became livid with fury. "Who don't know that, fool!" he shouted. "'Course you got to tie his hands behind his back. You trying to tell me I don't know how to put a mother-raper into a sack. I'll put you into a sack." "I know you know how, Sheik," Choo-Choo said hastily. "I just didn't want you to forget nothing when we put the captive in a sack." "I ain't going to forget nothing," Sheik said. "When we gonna put him in a sack?" Choo-Choo asked. "I know where to find a sack." "Okay, we'll put him in a sack just soon as the police finish here; then we take him down and leave him in the basement," Sheik said.

Grave Digger flashed his badge at the two harness bulls guarding the door and pushed inside the Dew Drop Inn. The joint was jammed with colored people who'd seen the big white man die, but nobody seemed to be worrying about it. The jukebox was giving out with a stomp version of "Big-Legged 'Woman." Saxophones were pleading; the horns were teasing; the bass was patting; the drums were chatting; the piano was catting, laying and playing the jive, and a husky female voice was shouting:

"… you can feel my thigh

But don't you feel up high."

Happy-tail women were bouncing out of their dresses on the high bar stools.

Grave Digger trod on the sawdust sprinkled over the bloodstains that wouldn't wash off and parked on the stool at the end of the bar.

Big Smiley was serving drinks with his left arm in a sling.

The white manager, the sleeves of his tan silk shirt rolled up, was helping.

Big Smiley shuffled down the wet footing and showed Grave Digger most of his big yellow teeth.

"Is you drinking, Chief, or just sitting and thinking?"

"How's the wing?" Grave Digger asked.

"Favorable. It wasn't cut deep enough to do no real damage."

The manager came down and said, "If I'd thought there was going to be any trouble I'd have called the police right away."

"What do you calculate as trouble in this joint?" Grave Digger asked.

The manager reddened. "I meant about the white man getting killed."

"Just what started all the trouble in here?"

"It wasn't exactly what you'd call trouble, Chief," Big Smiley said. "It was only a drunk attacked one of my white customers with his shiv and naturally I had to protect my customer."

"What did he have against the white man?"

"Nothing, Chief. Not a single thing. He was sitting over there drinking one shot of rye after another and looking at the white man standing here tending to his own business. Then he gets red-eyed drunk and his evil tells him to get up and cut the man. That's all. And naturally I couldn't let him do that."

"He must have had some reason. You're not trying to tell me he got up and attacked the man without any reason whatever."

"Naw suh, Chief, I'll bet my life he ain't had no reason at all to wanta cut the man. You know how our folks is, Chief; he was just one of those evil niggers that when they get drunk they start hating white folks and get to remembering all the bad things white folks ever done to them. That's all. More than likely he was mad at some white man that done something bad to him twenty years ago down South and he just wanted to take it out on this white man in here. It's like I told that white detective who was in here, this white man was standing here at the bar by hisseif and that nigger just figgered with all those colored folk in here he could cut him and get away with it."

"Maybe. What's his name?"

"I ain't ever seen that nigger before tonight, Chief; I don't know what is his name."

A customer called from up the bar, "Hey, boss, how about a little service up here?"

"If you want me, Jones, just holler," the manager said, moving off to serve the customer.

"Yeah," Grave Digger said, then asked Big Smiley, "Who was the woman?"

"There she is," Big Smiley said, nodding toward a booth.

Grave Digger turned his head and scanned her.

The black lady in the pink jersey dress and red silk stockings was back in her original seat in a booth surrounded by three workers.

"It wasn't on account of her," Big Smiley added.

Grave Digger slid from his stool, went over to her booth and flashed his badge. "I want to talk to you."

She looked at the gold badge and complained, "Why don't you folks leave me alone? I done already told a white cop everything I know about that shooting, which ain't nothing."

"Come on, I'll buy you a drink," Grave Digger said.

"Well, in that case…" she said and went with him to the bar.

At Grave Digger's order Big Smiley grudgingly poured her a shot of gin and Grave Digger said, "Fill it up."

Big Smiley filled the glass and stayed there to listen.

"How well did you know the white man?" Grave Digger asked the lady.

"I didn't know him at all. I'd just seen him around here once or twice."

"Doing what-"

"Just chasing."

"Alone?"

"Yeah."

"Did you see him pick up anyone?"

"Naw, he was one of those particular kind. He never saw nothing he liked."

"Who was the colored man who tried to cut him?"

"How the hell should I know?"

"He wasn't a relative of yours?"

"A relation of mine. I should hope not."

"Just exactly what did he say to the white man when he started to attack him?"

"I don't remember exactly; he just said something 'bout him messing about with his gal."

"That's the same thing the other man, Sonny Pickens, accused him of."

"I don't know nothing about that."

He thanked her and wrote down her name and address.

She went back to her seat.

He returned back to Big Smiley. "What did Pickens and the man argue about?"

"They ain't had no argument, Chief. Not in here. It wasn't on account of nothing that happened in here that he was shot."

"It was on account of something," Grave Digger said. "Robbery doesn't figure, and people in Harlem don't kill for revenge."