Martin Limon: Buddha's money

Only when the laws of physics demanded that some part of his body give a little, did Herman flinch.

Slicky Girl Nam's rage was like the monsoon torrent growing outside. She scratched and clawed and punched until finally the strength in her arms gave out.

Then she stopped for a moment to catch her breath. Herman's head was bathed in blood. He had to wipe his face with the back of his fat knuckles so he could see, but he kept the M-16 trained steadily on us.

After catching her wind, Slicky Girl started cursing and punching him again.

We were both growing sick of it. Ernie spoke first. "Why don't you defend yourself, Herman?"

"I don't deserve it." More blows landed. "All I could think about was the money. So I sliced off Mi-ja's ear, convincing myself that it was for her own good. And I chopped off her finger, in one quick slice, hoping it wouldn't hurt too bad. But she screamed and cried for hours. Then I left her with those Mongols. They said they were Buddhists. They couldn't perform any butchery themselves. So instead they stuffed straw down her throat and let her gag on it until she turned blue.

"I did all that," Herman said, "to my own little girl. For money."

He shook his head in amazement. Slicky Girl Nam's punches were little more than taps now. Herman wiped the blood from his eyes once more and spoke to her gently.

"Are you tired, honey?"

"Yeah," she said hoarsely. "I'm tired."

"You rest for a minute and then you can use this." He pointed a bloody finger at the hatchet.

"What I do with that?"

"Don't you worry. I'll tell you. You just rest for a while."

Slicky Girl Nam breathed heavily.

"For Christ's sake, Herman," Ernie said. "You can't go through with this. Whatever you're planning."

"It'll be over soon. You just hold your position in formation like good soldiers."

Outside in the dining room, I heard the front door slam. Herman heard it, too.

"It's the owner," I said. "He's probably going to alert the police."

"I guess I didn't pay him enough," Herman said.

"I guess he got sick to his stomach hearing what she's been doing to you," Ernie said. "You have to stop this bullshit, Herman."

"Almost done," he said. "You ready now, honey?"

"I ready."

"Here, take the hatchet. Now after we're through with this, I want you to call off the slicky boys. Okay?"

Slicky Girl Nam gazed at the hatchet and then at the M-16. "Okay," she said. "I don't need them anymore."

"I'm going to lean my head down on the cutting board, honey, like this, so I can still keep an eye on these two guys."

"Okay, Herman," Slicky Girl Nam said. "What you want me do?"

"I want you to cut off my ear. Just like I did to Mi-ja."

Ernie and I leapt out of our seats. Using one hand, Herman raised the barrel of his rifle.

"Easy, boys. Steady in formation."

The gaping mouth of the business end of the M-16 looked huge from where we stood. We both slumped back down. Ernie cursed softly.

"Go ahead, honey," Herman said. "Cut off the ear."

Slicky Girl Nam licked her thumb and rubbed it on the edge of the hatchet. "It not sharp."

"That's okay, honey. You just push hard."

She placed the hatchet flat on Herman's head behind his ear. "Okay," she said. "Can do easy. You ready?"

Thunder blasted outside. Herman had to shout.

"Ready."

Slicky Girl Nam shoved the hatchet forward and Herman's ear tore off with an audible rip. Both Ernie and I leaned back.

The blast of the M-16 exploded inches from our faces. Ernie and I flopped off the bench and crashed to the floor.

I swiveled my head. A small hole gaped in the wall between us.

Herman's eyes were filled with tears, but he was still conscious. He sat back up. Blood gushed from his ear in a crimson stream.

"Sorry, you guys," he said. "Reflex reaction."

Ernie and I climbed warily back up onto the bench.

"Okay, honey," Herman said, breathing heavily. "Now chop up the ear in little slices, just like Mi-ja's ear was chopped up to go in that mandu."

Slicky Girl Nam seemed to have found her strength again. She chopped vigorously until Herman's ear lay on the bloody cutting board in shredded pieces. It looked just like the little ear we'd found in the bowl of steamed dumplings.

"How's that, honey?" Slicky Girl Nam asked.

"Good job."

All of Slicky Girl Nam's rage had disappeared. I'd never seen her so considerate of her husband. It was as if she'd finally gained respect for the old lifer. She glanced down at the sliced flesh.

'You want me to make dumplings?"

"No time for that," Herman said. "I've got to go now, honey. You take the rifle, keep these guys here. I hope you see now that I've paid for what happened to our little Mi-ja."

Slicky Girl Nam stared down at Herman's shredded ear. 'You pay," she said.

Herman grabbed a wet rag and held it to the side of his head, stanching the flow of blood. "Give me ten minutes head start. Someday, when all this shit settles down, I'll come back for you."

Slicky Girl Nam's eyes welled with tears. "Okay, Herman," she said. "Someday you come back to Slicky Girl Nam."

Herman started to back toward the door. I reached in my pocket, pulled out a plastic bag, and slapped it on the bloody cutting board.

"Not so fast, Herman," I said.

The door was open, but Herman stopped. I pointed to the pile of green gravel in the plastic bag.

"I had it tested this morning, Nam. This is what is left of the jade skull of Kublai Khan. The problem is that it is not jade. It's glass."

"Don't believe him, Nam," Herman said. 'You know you can trust me."

Ernie started to back away along the wall. Slicky Girl Nam's eyes narrowed and her finger tightened around the trigger of the M-16.

"He brought a phony glass skull to the demonstration," I told her. "Now that he's cut off his ear and he knows that you and the slicky boys won't be coming after him for killing Mi-ja, he plans to get the real jade skull and escape from the country. It was a good plan, Herman. If I hadn't grabbed some of this glass before the rain washed it away last night, you might even have pulled it off."

"Don't believe them, honey," Herman whined.

The front door slammed open. "Kyongchall" someone shouted. Police!

Ernie leapt at Herman. In an extremely fast move for such a big man, Herman stepped back and slammed the door shut. Wood cracked against knuckles. Ernie howled in pain.

A dozen boots pounded into the dining room.

"Kyongchal! Umjiki-jima!" Police! Don't move!

I leapt at Slicky Girl Nam, grabbed the M-16, and wrestled it away from her.

Korean National Policemen stormed into the room, pointing guns at us. Hands were all over me. People shouted. Slicky Girl Nam screamed. I held the rifle over my head and hollered, "Mipalkun honbyong." Eighth Army MPs.

Captain Kim strode into the madness. The police stopped shouting.

"Herman domang ka," I told him. Herman's running away.

The Itaewon Police Station commander pushed through the wooden door and peered outside. "He won't get far," he said. "Come on."

Ernie and I followed him into the muddy alley out back.

"Let the woman go!" Captain Kim shouted in Korean.

Once the policemen released her, Slicky Girl Nam took off like a hunting dog. We trotted after her.

She wound through alleys, heading toward the residential section, the general direction of her own hooch. On the hill above us, I spotted three or four men in sports training outfits darting in and out of alleys. Slicky boys. And then I saw Herman, twisting through narrow lanes, heading down the hill. The big man was slowing, totally exhausted.

"They're herding him toward us," Ernie said in admiration.

We were so close now, I heard Herman the German huffing and puffing. Ahead of us, Slicky Girl Nam was rapidly gaining on him.