Nora Roberts: Carnal Innocence

"He had no right to do what he did, Delia. No one could think otherwise."

"She did." She sniffled and wiped a tear away with her knuckle. "Not that he had the right, but that somehow she'd pushed him to it. Then she found out she was carrying, and Mr. Beau had been up in Richmond the whole two weeks during her fertile time, so she had to figure Austin had gotten her pregnant. There was no question of telling anybody then. She didn't want the child hurt. She did her best to forget, but she worried. And when Josie would go off wild, she worried more. She had her mama's looks, Josie did, just like her brothers. But I guess, because we knew, we could see something of him in her."

So could she, Caroline thought, but said nothing.

"She wasn't to know. Not ever. But since she did, I wish she'd come to me so I could have told her how her mother tried to protect her." Delia sighed and dabbed at her eyes. Then she went very still. "But she knew. Lord help us, she knew. Is that why she… Oh, my baby, my poor baby."

"Don't." Caroline cupped Delia's hand between both of her own and leaned close to comfort. There was much that had been said in that shadowy bedroom that would remain there. In the dark. "She was ill, Delia. That's all we know. They're all dead now-Josie, her parents, Austin. There's no one to blame. I think because of the living, because of the ones we love, the secret should be buried with them."

Struggling for control, Delia nodded. "Maybe Josie'll rest easier that way."

"Maybe we all will."

She'd hoped he would come. Caroline had wanted to give him time, but it had been a week since Josie's funeral, and she'd hardly seen him. Never alone.

Innocence was doing its best to lick its wounds and go on. From Susie, Caroline had learned that Tucker had been to see the family members of each victim. What had been said behind those closed doors remained private, but she hoped it had brought a kind of healing.

The summer was passing. The delta had a short respite from the heat when the temperatures dropped to the eighties. It wouldn't last, but she'd learned to appreciate each moment.

After hooking the pup's bright red collar to his leash, she started down the lane. The flowers her grandmother had planted years before were thriving. It took only a little care and patience.

Useless tugged at his leash and she quickened her pace. Perhaps they would walk all the way down to Sweetwater. Perhaps it was time to try.

She turned at the end of her lane and saw Tucker's car almost instantly. It looked as snazzy and arrogant as it had the first time she'd seen it barreling toward her. The sight of it made her smile. A heart wasn't as easily healed as mangled metal, but it could be done. With care and patience.

With a cluck of her tongue she pulled Useless back onto the lawn. She knew where to find Tucker.

He was fond of water, of still, quiet water. He hadn't been sure he could sit here again. Coming back had been a kind of test. But the deep green shade and the dark, placid pond were working their magic. Contentment was still out of reach, but he'd gotten a grip on acceptance.

The dog raced out of the bush, barking, and plopped his forelegs on Tucker's knees.

"Hey there, boy. Hey, fella. You're getting some size on you, aren't you?"

"I believe you're trespassing," Caroline said as she moved into the clearing.

Tucker offered a halfhearted smile as he scratched the dog's ears. "Your grandmother let me come and sit here a spell from time to time."

"Well then." She sat on the log beside him. "I wouldn't want to break tradition." She watched the dog lick Tucker's hands and wrists. "He's missed you. So have I."

"I've been… hard to be around lately." He tossed a twig for the dog to chase. "Heat's let up," he said lamely.

"I noticed."

"I expect it'll be back before long."

She linked her hands in her lap. "I expect."

He stared at the water awhile longer, then went on staring at it when he spoke again. "Caroline, we haven't talked about that night."

"And we don't have to."

He shook his head as she reached for his hand, and stood to move away. "She was my sister." His voice was strained, and as he continued to study the water, Caroline saw how tired he looked. She wondered if she'd ever see that carefree grin again, and hoped.

"She was ill, Tucker."

"I'm trying to see that. The same as if she'd had cancer. I loved her, Caroline. I love her now, too. And it's hard, remembering her, and how full of life and spit she was. It's hard, remembering all those graves she's responsible for. But it's hardest, closing my eyes and seeing you running out of that room, and Josie just behind you, with a knife in her hand."

"I can't tell you it'll go away, not for either of us. But I've learned not to look back."

He bent down for a pebble and tossed it into the water. "I wasn't sure you'd want to see me."

"You should have been." She rose, as agitated as the pup who ran in circles with a twig in his mouth. "You started this between us, Tucker. You wouldn't let it alone. You wouldn't listen when I said I didn't want to be involved."

He threw another stone. "I guess that's true. I've been wondering if it wouldn't be best if I just let you go on your way, pick up where you were before I got messed up in your life."

She watched the pebble plop and shoot out its spreading ripples. Sometimes you accomplished more by stirring things up, she decided, than by letting them run smooth.

"Oh, that's fine. That's just like you, isn't it? Head for the door when things get complicated with a woman." She grabbed his arm and shoved him around to face her. "Well, I'm not like the others."

"I didn't mean-"

"I'll tell you what you mean," she tossed back, giving him a hard thump on the chest that had his mouth falling open in surprise. " 'It's been nice, Caro. See you around.' Well, forget it. You're not going to stroll in and change my life, then walk away, whistling. I'm in love with you, and I want to know what you're going to do about it."

"It's not that I-" He broke off. His eyes closed, as if on a pain, then he laid his hands on her shoulders, rested his brow against hers. "Oh, God, Caro."

"I want you to-"

"Shh. Just hush a minute. I need to hold you." He drew her closer, his grip tightening until she felt his muscles tremble. "I've needed to hold you so much these past few days. I was afraid you'd back away."

"You were wrong."

"I was going to try and be noble and let you go." He buried his face in her hair. "I'm not much good at being noble."

"Thank God for that." Smiling, she tilted her head back. "You haven't answered me."

"I was thinking more of kissing you."

"Nope." She put a hand on his chest to hold him off. "I want an answer. I said I loved you, and I want to know what you're going to do about it."

"Well…" His hands slid away from her. He found the best thing to do with them was to jam them in his pockets. "I had it pretty well worked out before- before everything happened."

She shook her head. "There is no before. Try now."

"I guess I was thinking about you going on this next tour. You do want to go?"

"I want to go on this one. For myself."

"Yeah. I was thinking. It occurred to me that you might not object to company."

Her lips curved slowly. "I might not."

"I'd like to go with you, when I could. I can't leave for weeks at a time, with Cy to look after, and Sweetwater- especially since Dwayne's going to be up in that clinic for a while- but now and then."

"Here and there?"

"There you go. And I was thinking that when you weren't touring or playing somewhere, that you'd come back here and be with me."

She pursed her lips in consideration. "Define 'be with.' "

He let out a deep, shaky breath. It was hard to get it out, he discovered, when he'd spent most of his life being careful to hold it in. "I want you to marry me, have a family with me. Here. I guess I want that more than I've ever wanted anything in my life."