Мишель Роуэн - Bitten & Smitten

NEW YORK BOSTON

Dear Mom, I might be a bit late for cousin Missy’s wedding. It’s been a tough week. Turns out my blind date from hell was literally from hell . Guy bit me. Next thing I know, I’m being chased all over the city by vampire hunters. And did I mention that I got fired, too? Bright side—I met a man. Thierry de Bennicoeur. How great is that name? Anyway, he’s sexy, six hundred years old, and a tad suicidal, but no one’s perfect, right? And we have a deal—he’s gonna show me the ropes of the vampire world, and I’m supposed to help him end his existence. Or maybe I’ll just try to convince him life is worth living—no small challenge with the mostly immortal, let me tell you. I’ll admit it’s a complicated relationship. But with any luck, I just might have a date for that wedding after all. Hugs and kisses. Sarah

For a dead woman, I felt surprisingly good. I figured I had to be dead, since the first thing I noticed after opening my eyes was someone burying me in the cold ground. I was only in a few inches deep, but steady shovelfuls of dirt were landing on my chest, creating a rapidly growing mound. The air smelled of moss and worms… and cheap cologne. Cheap cologne? I craned my neck to look around. An ornately carved gravestone stood not five feet away from my eyes. I blinked. It was dark, but I was pretty sure it wasn’t my name carved on it. The next dirt sandwich hit me squarely in the face.

“Hey!” I managed before I started to cough. I freed my right hand from under the heavy pile to wipe at my face.

“Oh, you’re awake,” a surprised male voice said from my left.

“What the hell is going on?”

“You’re awake and asking questions.” He sounded dismayed. “I was afraid of this.”

Something sharp and metallic hit the ground behind my head. Sounded like a shovel. Then the owner of the voice crouched down and moved his pale, thin face close to me.

“Hello there,” he said.

It was Gordon Richards, my blind date from earlier that evening, although I’d already recognized his voice. And his cologne. Whiny and nasal, it gave the impression of belonging to a very needy person. The voice, not the cologne, that is. The longer the date had gone on, the more I’d realized that the voice didn’t lie.

“Hi?” I started to squirm around. “Get me out of here, you lunatic, before I call the cops.”

He frowned. “But the dirt is an important part of the healing process.”

“Healing process? I’ll give you a healing process as soon as I get out of here.”

“Sorry.” Gordon began to push the dirt off me, and I struggled to pull myself free of the loose earth. He offered his hand to help me stand, but I ignored it and managed to get to my feet all by myself. I attempted to brush the dirt off my new, not to mention very expensive, silk dress and tried not to panic. My three-quarter-length burgundy leather coat could be easily wiped off, but I knew immediately that the dress was ruined. Although, I think it was safe to say that was the least of my problems at the moment.This guy was obviously psychotic. I took a good look around. Just as I’d suspected, thanks to the big clue of the gravestone, we were standing in the middle of a cemetery. My blind date had just attempted to bury me in a cemetery. Filled with dead people. And bugs. I shuddered, then I looked at him standing patiently nearby.

“Well, thanks so much for the date.” I tried to make my voice as relaxed as possible.

Calm, cool, and not ready to freak out. Yet. “I guess I’d better be heading home now.”

“What exactly do you remember?”

I forced a reluctant smile. “That I had a lovely time. And that I’ll have to thank Amy for setting this up. Yes, she won’t be hearing the end of this anytime soon. I can promise you that. Anyhow, super meeting you.” I made a move to leave, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back to face him.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Gordon asked, harsher now. “It’s important.”

I swallowed hard. “We had a lovely dinner. Then we went for a walk”—I glanced around—“but not here. Over by the river and the bridge, the Bloor Viaduct. We were looking down at the river, and um… you were saying something…”

“How lovely you are,” he murmured as he ran a hand down my coat sleeve.

I gritted my teeth and jerked away from his touch. Why hadn’t I ever signed up for that self-defense course Amy was always begging me to join with her? My eyes narrowed at the thought. Amy. She was so dead for getting me into this.

“Right.” I tried to turn my gritted teeth into a pleasant smile. “Me being lovely. Or whatever. And then…”

I frowned as I tried to remember, but things seemed a bit fuzzy.

“I offered you eternity.”

Uh-huh. I did remember that part. That was the moment when I decided that the date was officially over. And then— My eyes widened as I looked at him. “Then you bit me, you weirdo.”

Gordon looked very apologetic. “It’ll heal quick. I promise.”

I touched my neck and then pulled my hand away, staring with horror at the blood left behind.

“You bit me on the neck? What kind of a sorry-ass vampire wannabe are you, anyhow?”

I grabbed for my dirt-covered purse that lay by my feet. I kept a can of pepper spray in it for protection, or at least I used to. Did I still have it? Did those things have an expiration date? Didn’t matter. If I had to, I’d just use it to bash him over the head.

“I’m not a wannabe.” He actually had the audacity to look insulted. “I am a vampire.”

Psycho , I thought. Total psycho.

“Look,” I said tentatively, “you’ve had your fun. I’m not all that into the role-playing scene, or whatever this is, but the bite doesn’t seem to be too bad. I think. So, let’s just say no harm done and leave it at that, okay?”

“From the moment I saw you last month at the hot-dog stand outside your office, I knew that you had to be mine, Sarah.” He smiled wistfully. His teeth did look a little bit pointy, now that I was paying closer attention, but it was probably just the moonlight playing tricks. Still, unnerving to say the least. Also unnerving was the fact that somebody had secretly watched me getting my near-daily Italian-sausage fix. Creepy.

“You had to have me, huh?” I stared at him for a moment. “And you couldn’t just do what everyone else does and try to get me drunk?”

Usually, making a joke made me feel better. At the moment, it was all I could do to keep my voice from trembling.

“It took forever to get into your friend’s good graces so she’d set us up on this date, but it was worth the wait. Now you’re mine. We’ll be together forever.”

Without another word I turned and started walking briskly away from him. Still calm. Still in complete control. Just like my panty hose.

Gordon yelled after me a couple of times and then ran, catching up to me in only two or three steps. He grabbed my elbow and spun me around to face him.

“It’s rude to walk away when someone’s offering you eternity.” I didn’t like the way he was looking at me now. Not in the slightest. And his voice didn’t sound needy and desperate anymore.

I yanked my arm away from him.

“Keep it. I don’t want it.”

He grabbed me again. Despite his scrawny appearance, his grip was crushing.

“Let go of me…” I began, but then he hit me hard across my face with the back of his hand. My vision exploded in multicolor waves and my teeth loosened slightly in their sockets as the impact shook me right to my toes.

“It’s too late to take it back, bitch.” His snarl showed the full length of his sharp fangs.