Дэвид Балдаччи - Redemption

“And the widow of one of his alleged victims has disappeared.”

“So you think this Susan Richards shot him and now she’s on the run?”

“I don’t know, but it looks that way. They still haven’t found her car or her. Which is pretty weird in this day and age.”

“Well, it’s a pretty big country too. Somebody can disappear if they want to. Look at my old man.”

“Your father was a little more experienced with stuff like that than I suspect Susan Richards is. And he disappeared before there were smartphones with camera and video capabilities, and social media was nonexistent.”

Mars shrugged. “Proof’s in the pudding. Lady hasn’t surfaced. And you still haven’t answered my question. How do we attack this sucker?”

“Other things being equal, I think we need to solve the crime in the past to have any shot at figuring out who killed Meryl Hawkins.”

“Well, you solved my cold case, and that one went back even further. So my money’s on you.”

“I’m not sure I’d take that bet.”

“Going back in time. You know how you did it with me. So now?”

“I’ve spoken to the people involved back then. The widows. The daughter. The only remaining neighbors.”

“How about the first responders? The ME?”

“The cops are no longer working. They’ve moved out of the area. The ME passed away three years ago.”

“But you still got the records, though.” Mars tapped his forehead. “Up here.”

“Not all of them, because... because I didn’t read everything. In particular the forensic file, at least not thoroughly.”

Mars raised his eyebrows at this.

Decker did not miss this reaction. “I’d been a homicide detective all of five days when the call came in. That’s not an excuse. But the print and DNA were slam dunks, or at least I thought they were. I wasn’t as diligent about the rest of the stuff. And it might have cost Hawkins his freedom and then his life.”

“Only thing that makes you, Decker, is human. And let me tell you I had my doubts about that.” He tacked on a grin with this.

“I’m not supposed to make mistakes, at least not like that.”

“And here you are trying to make up for it. Doing the best you can. That’s all you can do.”

When Decker didn’t respond to this, Mars said, “What’s wrong, Amos? This isn’t the guy I know. Something is eating at you. And it’s not just that you might have screwed up. So lay it out there, dude. Can’t help if I can’t follow.”

“Some people are meant to be alone, work alone, just... alone.”

“And you think you’re one of them?”

“I know I am, Melvin.”

“I was alone for twenty years, Amos. Just me and steel bars and concrete walls. And maybe a lethal needle waiting on my ass.”

“Now I’m not following.”

“Then let me lay it out clean for you. I was convinced I was a loner too. That that was just how life was going to be. But I made a mistake.”

“How so?”

“I let circumstances beyond my control define me. That’s not good. That’s worse than lying to yourself. It’s like you’re lying to your soul.”

“And you think that’s where I am?”

“Alex told me why you two were here in the first place. Visiting your family at the cemetery.”

Decker looked away.

“You feel tied to this place, and I get that. But see, you’re not. You moved from here. Joined the FBI. And if you hadn’t done that, I’d be rotting in a prison in Texas, or more likely dead. But this is not about me, it’s about you.”

“Maybe it was a mistake to move,” said Decker.

“Maybe it was and maybe it wasn’t. But the point is, you made that choice. You got the world’s greatest memory, Amos. There’s nothing you can’t remember. Now I know that’s a blessing and a curse. And with your family and what happened to them it’s the worst of all possible things. But all the good stuff? All the happy times? You remember those too like they just happened. Hell, I can barely remember how my mom looked. I can’t really remember her touch or her smile. I can’t remember any of my birthdays when I was little. I just have to imagine how it was. But you can remember that stuff. So, you could move to Siberia and be out in a blizzard and you just got to close your eyes and you’re right back here having dinner with your wife. Holding her hand. Getting Molly ready for school. Reading a book to her. It’s all there, dude. It’s all there.”

Decker finally looked at him. “And that’s what’s so hard, Melvin.” His voice slightly shook. “I will always very clearly know, like it was yesterday, how damn much I lost.”

Mars rose, sat down next to his friend, and put his big arm around Decker’s wide shoulders. “And that’s what they call life, my friend. The good, the bad, and the ugly. But don’t let the last two diminish the first one, ’cause the first one’s the important one. You keep that one alive, man, you can face down anything. That is the gospel truth.”

The men sat there in silence, but still communicating exactly what they were feeling, as the best of friends often do.

“Don’t think Alex would approve of this,” said Mars.

He and Decker were standing in front of the breakfast bar in the lobby of the Residence Inn the next morning. It was laden with food constituting every cardiologist’s nightmare.

“I used to love this part of the day,” replied Decker, looking longingly at plates of bacon and plump sausages and scrambled eggs, and then over at stacks of pancakes, waffles, and jars of syrup.

“Well, it didn’t love you back.”

“Amos!”

They both looked over at the tiny, withered woman who was hurrying toward them carrying a plate of flaky biscuits. She was in her eighties, with sparkling white hair crammed under a hair net.

“Heard you were back in town.” She held up the plate. “You want to just take this plate to your table, like you used to? Made ’em myself.”

“Hello, June.” He looked at the biscuits for a long moment, until Mars poked him in the side.

Decker started and said, “I think I’ll pass, but thanks. I think I’ll just get some, um, orange juice and a bowl of the oatmeal.”

June eyed him suspiciously. “You’ve lost weight. I mean, you’re almost skinny. You sick?”

“No, I’m actually healthier than I’ve been in a long time.”

Her look said that she highly doubted this was true. “Well, if you change your mind, just give me the high sign.” She glanced at Mars. “Your friend could use some fattening up too.”

Mars cracked a smile. “Yes ma’am. I’ll get right on that, tomorrow .”

“Well, all right then.” She scampered off.

Mars eyed all the food at the buffet and shook his head. “Man, how did you end up not stroking at your table when you lived here?”

They had just finished their meal when Decker’s phone buzzed. It was Sally Brimmer.

“I copied all the files to a flash drive,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t want to email it to you because that could be traced, and I like my job.”

“I can meet you somewhere and you can give me the flash.”

“I get off work at six. You know McArthur Park on the east side of town?”

“Yeah.”

“I can meet you at the little pond there, say six-thirty?”

“I’ll be there. And I really appreciate this, Ms. Brimmer.”

“Just make it Sally. Co-conspirators should be able to use first names, Amos .”

The line went dead.

Mars eyed him. “Good news?”

“I think so, yeah.”

His phone buzzed again. He thought it might be Brimmer calling back, but it was another number. One that Decker recognized.