Chester Himes - If he hollers let him go

'Just like a clock,' I said.

'Now you got to slip off and eat on the job when you oughta be working,' she said.

'I'm not hungry anyway,' I said.

Elsie closed her lunch pail and got up, but Madge took a moment to gather up the scrap paper. When Elsie turned away I leaned over and whispered to Madge, 'I'm coming up to see you tonight.'

'You better not,' she threatened, looking panicky for an instant, then she giggled. 'You don't know where I live anyway.'

Elsie heard us whispering and turned back. 'Come on,' she said peevishly. 'I do declare, I don't know what's come over you since you come to California.'

Madge moved slightly, blocking Elsie from view, and I formed the words with my lips: 'Look for me around eight.'

'You go 'head!' Madge snapped at Elsie, wanting her to get away so we could have a last moment together. 'You know we can't leave no paper laying around.' Then she leaned over me to pick up a scrap of newspaper and I could see her breasts hanging loose inside her waist. She gave me plenty time to get my gaper's bit, then fluttered her eyelashes, straightened up, and went off with Elsie, pitching her hips. I sat there and watched them shake, too weak to move.

After a moment Ben, Peaches, and Conway came by on their way back to the dock. 'What you doing, taking your vacation?' Ben asked.

I picked up the stew, pie, and coffee, dumped them into a trash container, then joined the three of them.

'He's dreaming 'bout his white chicks,' Peaches said slyly.

I gave her a sharp look, wondering if she had seen me talking to Madge. Then I laughed and leaned over toward her. 'If you Negro women would give a man a break now and then we wouldn't have to-'

But she cut me off. 'That's what you all say. You niggers make me sick.' It must have been her pet peeve. 'If a coloured girl asks one of you niggers to take her to the show you start grumbling 'bout money-liable even ask her to pay the way. And then the raggedest-looking old beat-up white tramp can come by and get your whole pay check. You dump like a dumping truck.'

Ben saw that she was half-way serious and started teasing her. 'That's just what's wrong with you Negro women-always fighting and fussing. A man takes his life in his hands just to live with you. Always got your mouth stuck out and mad about something. Now take a white woman-all she wants you to do is love her.'

'I like big fat white women,' Conway started, ' 'cause there's so much of 'em that's white. An' I like old white women 'cause they been white so long. An' I like young white women 'cause they got so long to be white. An' I like skinny white women 'cause-'

A couple of white fellows passed and glanced at Conway, and Peaches snapped scornfully, 'Oh, shut up, Conway. You'll be up there begging me for some all afternoon.'

Ben gave a loud guffaw and Conway looked embarrassed. We started talking about the work and Ben got on Tebbel. Conway looked like he wanted to say something about me but thought better of it. When we came to the landing stairs Madge was standing at the fountain. I half turned towards her and winked, but she must have thought I was going to say something to her, for she gave me one glance and went into her frightened act again. I gritted my teeth. That's okay, baby, I thought; you don't scare me now.

'What the hell's matter with that woman?' Ben asked. 'Is she-' He broke off and looked at me. 'That the cracker you had the trouble with?'

I nodded.

'What the hell is she trying to do, make as if she's scared of Negroes?'

'If she knew what I know 'bout you three she better be scared,' Peaches cracked.

'Bob don't want no stuff 'bout the woman,' Conway growled. Then he asked me, 'Hear any more 'bout it yet?'

'Not yet,' I said.

They didn't ask any more questions.

On the way home I stopped at a cafe and had a couple of fried pork chops, some French fries, and baked beans. I was sitting at the counter with a bunch of other workers and all of a sudden I thought of Madge and had to laugh. The people turned and looked at me like I was nuts. But I couldn't stop laughing; every now and then I'd break out again. I really didn't know whether I was laughing at Madge or myself; we were both very funny people.

I got through, got up, paid the girl, and went out. The chops were heavy in my stomach but they gave me drive. I knew what I was going to do; I was going down to the hotel and see the dame. But I didn't want to think about it; I didn't want to get mixed up with a lot of crazy thoughts. So I kept looking at the people on the street as I drove home. I pulled up in front of the house and cut the motor before I realized I was there. I gave a little laugh and went inside.

I took so long bathing and getting dressed, Ella Mae said, 'So you got another heavy on tonight.'

'I'm just a playboy at heart,' I laughed, trying on another sport shirt.

I was wearing my beige gabardine pumps, grey flannel slacks, camel's-hair jacket, but I couldn't find a shirt that satisfied. I wanted to look sharp but I wanted to feel comfortable too. I could wear an outfit over on the Avenue and feel strictly fine, but if I went downtown in it I felt gaudy. Now I was trying to get a combination I'd feel all right in if I had to take the dame out somewhere. I finally decided on an aqua gabardine shirt. Then I stepped into the kitchen to let her gape me.

'See what I mean?' I said.

She tried to look scornful. 'You just think you look cute. You'll stumble in here 'bout four o'clock all messed up and wanna kill everybody.'

I grinned. 'I'm going out with my white chick tonight. She takes good care of me.'

'You're saying it for a joke,' she said derisively, 'but I believe you, you're just the type.'

'You know I like my white women, baby,' I teased. 'Couldn't get along without 'em.'

'You just like all the other niggers,' she came back. 'Get a white woman and go from Cadillacs to cotton sacks.' Then she added offhandedly, 'Alice called while you were in the tub,' and gave me a sharp look, catching me off guard. 'Oh, so, it's like that now. Just last week you were bragging 'bout how you were gonna marry her.'

I got my face under control again and said, 'Now you know I'm waiting for Henry to die so I can marry you, baby. What do you say we bump him off?'

She went on washing the baby's diapers, ignoring me. I stepped into the front room and called Alice. She answered the phone.

'Hello, baby. Bob,' I said.

'Bob, I've been trying to get you.' Her voice sounded as though it was under wraps; it was still low, controlled, but it wasn't mellow.

'I stopped and ate on the way home,' I said.

For a time she didn't say anything, then she asked, 'Bob, did you do what I asked you to?'

I knew what she meant but I said anyway, 'What did you ask me to do?'

'Let's don't play games with each other, Bob,' she said. 'You know what I asked you to do.' There was strain in her voice.

'I didn't do it,' I said.

She waited for me again and when she saw I wasn't coming, she asked, 'Are you going to?'

'No,' I said.

There was another blank and when her voice came now it was a little desperate. 'Do you love me, Bob?'

'Yes,' I said. I was fighting against her, trying to keep her from touching me. I didn't want to get all mixed up, mad or remorseful or even sensible; I wanted to go see Madge and to hell with everybody.

'You have a funny way of showing it,' she said.

'I told you, baby,' I said. My voice was getting heavy.

She was silent again for a time, then she asked, 'Am I going to see you tonight?'

'What for, so we can have another argument?'

'I want you to take me out to Hollywood. Lawson's going to lecture,' she said. 'Afterward we can have a snack and go to a night club if you like.'