Kelvin Jackson - It Was All A Dream

Finally they came to the conclusion that maybe it was at least worth attempting to rebuild the bond that the untimely incarceration had taken away from them. K could tell that Mattie had reservations about the possibility of the same sequence of events happening again. But the one thing that they understood was that they were each other’s weakness.

“Look, I got a room that I rent out in West Babylon from Jeff and Marcie. We can stay there or get a hotel room for a couple o days until we find an apartment,” he stated as they headed out of the city.

“Well I know you just came home and you lost everything when you got locked up. I don’t want to be a burden..”

“A burden?” K asked in disbelief.

“Well I know I don’t have a job anymore. Plus the police are gonna be lookin for me for that dumb shit I did.”

“Don’t worry about bread ma. This is me and you know how I boogie. Aint shit change. You just gonna lay low for a couple weeks til this shit blow ova. I mean it aint like they gonna put out a APB on you for cutting a bitch.”

Mattie had always been cautious and one of the reasons that they connected so well was because K wasn’t reckless when it came to shit involving the police. Plus K had a sweet connect with the Nigerians on the fake ID’s and passports. They found their resting place for the night in Queens, off the Grand Central Parkway at the Parson’s Blvd. exit. After pulling into the parking lot of the hotel K went and paid for the room. When he returned with the key they went to the second floor and entered the room.

“You get comfortable and relax while I run over to Supthin Blvd and grab sumn to blow,” said K.

She went in the room and turned to face him in the doorway. Mattie pulled K close and stared directly in his eyes.

“Baby, please don’t leave me lost again,” she said giving him a long passionate kiss.

Once they separated, K reached in his pocket and pulled out the $taxxx of bills he had taken with him to the club. K removed the rubber band and opened it to the middle. He removed five big faces and handed her the rest.

“That’s just in case sumn happens to me,” he stated sincerely.

“Just hurry up. I’m gonna take a shower and I’ll be here waiting for you,” she said taking the wad of cash.

She understood the message in the gesture; implying that he would take every precaution to make sure she was OK as long as she was willing to put faith back in him. The truth was, K was a good dude with resentments against a chosen few and attempting to reclaim the woman that he felt was his. He felt like niggahs he made sure ate, were dead wrong to shit on him. This changed his perception of the two terminologies love and friend. Now they owed him and he would get what was due. As K hopped into the rental to go cop the trees, he remembered the words his man 40 ounce Rich had told him about Mattie and that Haitian dude Dutty.

“Yeah she was up in the BLACK HERITAGE CLUB drunk as shit and went in the bathroom with Dutty. They were in there for about a half hour. Niggahs kept bangin on the door and shit but it was locked. You already know what was up,” 40 had said.

It was just another one of those life lessons that K would learn the hard way. You don’t ask questions that you really don’t want the answers to.

“So what happened when they came out the bathroom?” K asked.

“They both came out laughing and left together,” said 40 confirming K’s worst conclusion. The imagination is a unique and sometimes vicious animal, and mixed with an emotional visual can plant a seed that roots and meshes with your soul. As K drove the rental he did battle with conflicting emotions.

At a time when most where asleep, Supthin Blvd was alive and poppin with late night activity. In an area as heavily burdened with crime as this part of Queens, you would think that there would be at the very minimum some police presence. K pulled up on the strip and parked behind two brand new S 550 Mercedes Benz sedans. One was money green. The other was fish scale white. From the looks of things, the weed biz wasn’t doing too badly. K went in and copped four bags and a box of dutchess. While exiting the store he heard the distinct sound of gunfire off in the distance a few blocks away. Another life probably ended. More than likely over what many labeled the root of all evil. Sliding into the rental and pulling away from the curb, K wistfully pondered what an uncertain future held for him.

After K left the hotel room Mattie rushed over and picked up the hotel phone and dialed her sister Reebie. When Mattie heard the call go to the answering machine she was going to hang up but decided to leave a message.

“Hi Reebie… man I fucked up big this time… I really need to talk to you. I’m at a hotel in Queens with Kevin. Call me at this number as soon as you get this message. 718-“

“Hey, hold up girl… with Kevin? What happened I thought you were done fucking with him?” Stated Reebie. The joking sarcasm was clear in her voice.

“Not now bitch, I’m really going through something, “said Mattie making it clear that she wasn’t up for Reebie clowning her for going back on her word. They talked for the next ten minutes and Mattie filled Reebie in on all the events that happened, from her losing her I.D.; all the way up to Blass shooting up the club. Reebie had gone to middle school and high school with Pook and Blass so she already knew that they were loose cannons.

“So what you going to do,” Reebie inquired worried about her big sister.

“I’m just gonna play it by ear and see how it plays out. You know I love this niggah but a bitch aint trying to be hurt no more for real.”

“Well do you want to meet me somewhere so I can bring you some clothes?”

“I’ll call you in the morning and let you know something more definite. I really need to know if and when the police come looking for me. So answer the dam phone! If you wasn’t giving pussy away and turning them niggas out like that, you wouldn’t have to screen all your calls, “said Mattie.

“I’m a dickaholic! I need counseling!” said Reebie half joking-half serious.

“You are terrible hoe, but I love you. I’ll call you tomorrow “said Mattie and ended the conversation.

Mattie rose from the bed, went into the bathroom, and turned on the shower. She smiled reminiscing back to the times when she would take long hot passion filled showers with K and how happy she felt whenever they were together. She caught her reflection in the mirror and had to admit that she hadn’t smiled that genuine smile in a long time. Fuck it she thought you only live once. She thought of all the twists and turns life had taken her through at such a young age. Life was the sum total of the experiences that one goes through up until the present. She really wanted to be happy but the main thought that controlled her subconscious was do I deserve to be happy? This subliminal was deeply rooted in the misplaced humiliation of the sexual abuse that she had been subjected to as a young girl.

Still it was good to see that smile again. She decided to make the best of the circumstances. After removing the little bit of clothing she was wearing, Mattie stepped into the steamy shower. She stood under the hot water and let stream relax her. Ten minutes later she was lying on the bed with a towel wrapped around her watching television.

By the time K had pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, he had run through all the possible scenarios that could result in attempting to rebuild their relationship. At the very worst he figured they would go on with their separate lives. But in the best case, if he could get past his feelings of betrayal, it would be the reuniting of Bonnie and Clyde. Once he finally reached the hotel room door he realized that who he had constantly reflected upon and dreamed about being with during his incarceration was about to be reality. The fact that they were both freaks in the bedroom, only enhanced the reality that there wasn’t any fantasy that Mattie hadn’t been willing to fulfill for her man.