Don Bruns - Too Much Stuff

We both pulled up at the same spot. It felt right. This entire mission felt right.

“I’ll try it up here.” James motioned to a plot of ground. “You, back maybe ten feet. What do you think?”

“If it’s the southeast corner there’s a lot of southeast.”

“A lot of corner.”

I stuck the shovel in the ground and felt sandy earth. The tip went deep. Pulling a chunk of sand from the ground I dug back in, wondering what the owner would think when he inspected his property in the next several days. Clumps of packed sand piled up as I kept digging.

“James, anything at all?”

“Nothing.”

I forced the blade of the shovel deeper, hoping to find a solid base. Again, nothing.

Again and again. How much sand would have accumulated over almost eighty years? Inches, feet, yards? Still, I felt we were on the right track.

“We can change locations. Move in about two or three feet.” James walked closer to the center.

“Everything okay, boys?”

Em was on the Ocean Air side. I could barely make out her soft voice.

“Nothing yet, Em.”

Five feet and I planted the shovel in the ground. Again, the same old boring nothing. Once more and I felt the jarring in my hands and arms. I’d hit a stone. A rock. I moved the head of the shovel to go around the obstacle. I hit the same surface.

“James, I may have found something.”

In the dim light I saw him jerk his head up.

“Oh, my God, Skip. Do you think it might be-”

At that very moment I saw the light. The bright beam from a boat coming straight at us.

“James. There’s a boat heading for shore, right here. They’re heading for the boat dock. We’ve got to get the hell out of here.”

“Dude, you found a solid foundation.”

“James, there’s a frigging boat about one minute from docking.”

In the warm silence I heard the clink of metal on metal. Then a creak of hinges.

“Friend, someone is opening a gate. Can’t you hear it?” I loudly whispered my comment, aware of the clanking of metal.

“Let’s get out of here.”

And that’s when I heard the dogs barking. Not just barking, but growling with a killer instinct.

I could barely see James as he ran across the property, his feet flying. He grabbed the fence on the Ocean Air side, and grasping at the metal grate he moved up the structure and reached the top, vaulting over.

I spun around and there they were. Two big, muscular, black dogs, lips peeled back, sharp teeth bared, and ready to rip human flesh. My human flesh.

Running like I’d never run before, I hit the closest fence, clawing my way up. The dogs sounded like they were moments away and I jammed my fingers into the metal web, pulling and pulling, and finally I was at the top and I perched up there before dropping down. I felt the jolt in my ankles and knees.

The hounds howled on the other side. My Em stood there, her mouth hanging open. I had the same reaction. I’d escaped. I really had.

“I never saw them coming, Skip. I was on the Ocean Air side.” She sounded breathless, speaking in a soft voice. “I am so sorry.”

And as I glanced around I saw that I’d landed on the side we’d never seen. Four small block houses ran down to the water on the other side of the street from the fence.

“I noticed a truck when I walked over there. Somebody must have gone in with the dogs, but from where?”

“Where is James?”

“He’s safe. The dogs had to have gone in from the west gate. The Old Highway side. That’s it. I don’t see any other entrance.”

James and I hadn’t even noticed a gate. Once again, our inexperience and lack of attention to detail was evident. I hoped we’d get a little better after we’d been at this for a while.

But this side was the side we’d never seen. Foliage was hiding most of the view, but there were several open spaces as I looked down the fence line. On the other side of the street were those block homes that had ocean access.

I motioned to Em and we crept down to one of the viewing points.

“You think James is safe?” I whispered.

“Doesn’t he usually skate? Your friend gets away with just about everything. He’s probably safe.” There was a sigh.

I stood back from the fence, watching through a small clearing as the long boat bumped the dock. The moon had come out from a cloud cover and I saw somebody was already on the wooden planks. A deckhand tossed them a rope.

Em touched my shoulder and I jumped.

“You guys don’t seem to have bothered them too much. It looks like they’re ignoring the fact that the dogs chased you out.”

I nodded. “They probably get kids who break in. James thinks it’s a place for skinny dipping.”

“Oooh. That would be interesting.”

We kept our voices low. “So they’re used to people being there. And getting run off. At least that’s our theory.”

The boat was tied tight and people started getting off. A lot of people were getting off.

“How big is that boat?”

I know nothing about boats, but I would have guessed forty-six to fifty-two feet long.

“Maybe fifty feet.”

“So far I’ve counted thirty people.”

Another five walked off before the parade ended.

I swatted at a mosquito and wiped sweat from my brow.

“What do you think? A dinner cruise?” The soft voice was behind me and I jumped again. James had approached from the rear and was watching through our clearing.

“You scared the hell out of me.”

“Maybe a hotel shuttle? Late night fishing trip?”

“They’re carrying bags, James.”

“We made it out with our limbs intact, pard.”

“We did.”

“Our surveillance team missed this one.” He glanced in Em’s direction.

“James, I am so sorry. I never saw it coming. You have my apology. I promise you I will be much more attentive when we do this again tomorrow night.”

I shook my head in amazement. I had never heard Em apologize to James. Never. It was unheard of.

“Tomorrow?” James sounded surprised.

“Hey, you guys hit something out there.”

“Skip did,” he said. “You’re right.”

“Well, don’t you want to see what it is?”

“Yeah.” I did.

“Plus there’s another reason you’ve got to go back.”

“What’s that?”

“Your shovels are lying on the ground.”

It was a valid point. I could only hope that no one canvassed the property and confiscated our tools.

The parade of people was walking over to the Ocean Air side of the property. I saw them walk into the dense foliage that hid the fence and every one of them disappeared as if by magic.

James was staring at the far fence.

“Where the heck did they go?”

“It’s like they fell off the edge.”

We’d walked the fence on that side down to the pointy little beach. I hadn’t seen any opening. No gate that I remembered.

“There was nothing there, amigo. Don’t you think we would have noticed some kind of opening?”

“Apparently we didn’t pay enough attention, James.” We never paid enough attention, and it was coming back to haunt us.

James shot back, “She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her or something. I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention.”

I knew it right away. But before I could spit it out, Em said, “ Dumb and Dumber . Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels.”

She’d nailed it.

“Sometimes when I’m with you two guys I feel like I’m in that movie.”

Walking around the fence, we carefully crept by the Ocean Air Suites and down to the beach where I finally turned on the flashlight. Right at the end of the galvanized steel fence there was smooth sand. Someone had raked a path from the fence, across the beach and all the way to the first building.