Pamela Douglas - Hyam The Cat Who Talked Too Much

HYAM

The Cat Who Talked Too Much

PAMELA DOUGLAS

HYAM

The Cat Who Talked Too Much

ePub Reader Format

© Pamela Douglas 2006

ISBN 978-1-906658-13-7

Hyam Illustrations by Pamela Douglas

Published by M-Y Books,

187 Ware Road,

Hertford.

m-ybooks.co.uk

The right of Pamela Douglas to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form (including photocopying or storing in any medium by electronic means and whether or not transiently or incidentally to some other use of this publication) without the written permission of the copyright holder except in accordance with the provisions of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. Applications for the Copyright holders written permission to reproduce any part of this publication should be addressed to the publishers.

For Louiseand the many friends

who knew and loved

the little black subject of this book.

Now for Hannah, too,

who will meet him for the first time.

Copyright Copyright HYAM The Cat Who Talked Too Much ePub Reader Format © Pamela Douglas 2006 ISBN 978-1-906658-13-7 Hyam Illustrations by Pamela Douglas Published by M-Y Books, 187 Ware Road, Hertford. m-ybooks.co.uk The right of Pamela Douglas to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright Designs and Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form (including photocopying or storing in any medium by electronic means and whether or not transiently or incidentally to some other use of this publication) without the written permission of the copyright holder except in accordance with the provisions of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. Applications for the Copyright holders written permission to reproduce any part of this publication should be addressed to the publishers.

Dedication Dedication For Louise and the many friends who knew and loved the little black subject of this book. Now for Hannah , too, who will meet him for the first time.

Foreword Foreword A small velvet paw unfurled, revealed A small satin nose. 'Twas dawn. A rose-petal tongue and ivory fangs Displayed a luxurious yawn. A long jet black tail with a kink at the end Uncurled in the early light. And every inch of that sleek, smooth coat Shook off the deep sleep of night. The big round eyes, with their pupils bright, Blinked twice at the sun's rude stare, Then open they few, as well they might, For another fine day was there. Up stretched the four legs, thick-coated with fur, Up arched the back in a hump, And ready to enter a new day with joy, He was out with a leap and a jump. This was Hyam and this is his story...

Curtain Up Curtain Up “Have you ever thought?” said I. “Thought about what?” said he. “What it is like to be a travelled Theatre cat like me.” “ To be a cat like you?” said he. “That's what I mean” said I. “ To tell the truth, it might be fun, To hear about the things you've done, So tell me now,” said he. And so I did, And this is it, The tale I told him then, Of all the things that I had seen, Of all the places where I'd been, Of all the years that I had spent, Along with my owner, wherever she went, And then I wondered, glancing through, Would you be interested too?

My Debut My Debut In this little tale I'm about to unfold, I was, let me see, about ten weeks old. It happened one October night, I woke to find the room alight, But not a single soul in sight. Odd… I looked about and over there, Her dressing gown flung on a chair, Familiar perfume filled the air. So… I wondered, was it very late, Ten – or nine – or only eight? Should I go or should I wait? Which… I took a jump down to the floor, And suddenly, oh joy, I saw That someone had not closed the door. Out… Along the passage quiet and dim, Obeying an impulsive whim, I crept, restraining every limb. Wait… Around the corner soft crept I, Beneath the lamps erected high, To give illusion of the sky. There… Behind the scenery I could see, Lots of faces who would be, Surprised and pleased at seeing me. Look… My owner there with make-up bright, That I had watched applied that night, Was sitting there just to the right. Oh… I thought she had not noticed me, Or she'd have pulled me on her knee, So I put forth a plaintive plea. No… I scarcely could believe my eyes, She never does ignore my cries, She looked away, I saw her rise. Horror… Am I here or still asleep? I took one final desperate leap, I crumpled in a shattered heap. Terror… Disillusioned, off I went, With head held low, tail sadly bent, For what had such behaviour meant? Misery… I scarce recall the arms that bore Me back along the corridor, Then closed and firmly locked the door. A lesson.

Walking Walking I shall never forget the very first day, I went out on a lead, a very short way. Every few yards I'd stop to chase Every small leaf A-whirl in space. I would turn and I'd sit, I would pull and I'd cry, I would clutch at the feet of all who passed by. I would ignore A stern command, I would receive a reprimand. A walk that had taken two minutes before, With me on a lead, took ten minutes more. That day it seemed Was hard and sad, This day I walk And I am glad.

Making Up Making Up My mother was a Seal Point So they say All right An open pot of powder On a tray That might Persuade this inky coat just For a day Or night To be my mother's image Anyway The sight Of half a box of powder Gone astray How light Too late, look at the carpet There it lay Not quite The lot, enough to cover Just half way Off white Discovered all too early What a day A plight However to explain it Or to pay A slight Apology for wasting Perhaps I may Be bright And win her round by purring As I lay At night All snug and clean once more and All too gay Incite The old forgiveness for me And I'll say Despite The mischief that I do it's Only play Goodnight.

How I Got My Name

Manners

Filming

Terror

A Tasty Dish

Parties For Me

The Dressing Room

My Grandowners

We Three

Rescue

The Audition

The Rattle-Monster

The Hunting Art

What a Nerve!

Missed Performance

To Be A Cat

A Day Out In London

Overture & Beginners

How I Was Nearly Run Over

Word Perfect

A New Friend

Cat-Napped

Train Call

You Ca'nt Win'em All

Top News Cat

Resting

Touring

Waiting In The Wings

Scene Stealing

On The Set

Sad Summer

Model Cat

First Night

Love Story

Our Move To The Country

Town & Country Cat

Theatreland Cat

Just A Pal

Late Home

A New Arrival

Finale

Acknowledgments

A small velvet paw unfurled, revealed

A small satin nose. 'Twas dawn.

A rose-petal tongue and ivory fangs