Michael Nava - Goldenboy

“Don’t shoot,” Cresly shouted. “I got a man in there.”

The sheriffs stopped in their tracks. A deputy hurried over to us. “What is this?”

“Keep your men back,” Cresly said and picked up his radio. “Daniels.”

“I’m right here,” Daniels answered. “Out back. Something’s going on in there.”

We all looked toward the house. The porch light flashed on. Cresly stood up and shouted, “This is your last chance before we start shooting. Come out with your hands on your head.”

Slowly, the door opened. My breath caught in my throat as someone stepped out onto the porch, hands raised high over his head. It was Josh. I breathed.

We were sitting on the porch steps. I had wrapped my coat around Josh’s shoulders and put my arm around him, but he could not stop shivering or talking, even as he cried. He simply talked through his tears.

“It happened so fast,” he said. “He had me sitting by the fireplace with the gun on me. Then we heard the sirens and he looked out the window. Just for a second. I grabbed the poker and just swung. It was dark and I couldn’t see very well but I must have hit his hand because the gun went off and then I heard it hit the floor. I went for it and when I got it I just started shooting — I just…” He broke off, sobbing.

I held him closer. “It’s all right, Josh.”

“But I killed him, Henry.”

“He had the poker,” I said.

“But I couldn’t see that,” Josh said. “I didn’t wait to see what would happen.”

“Thank God for that,” I said. He buried his face in my chest. I looked above his head into the room behind us. A sheriff knelt beside Zane’s body. Someone laughed. Someone sipped from a cup of coffee.

Irene Gentry stood with her back against the wall. Cresly walked up to her and said something. She shook her head slowly, again and again, until he shrugged and walked away. After he’d gone, she lifted a slender hand and, almost contemptuously, wiped the tears from her face. As if aware she was being watched, she looked slowly around the room and then out the door until our eyes met. I tried to read their expression but she was far away. I heard her ask for a cigarette and she passed out of my view.

Josh asked, “What will happen to her?”

“If they can prove the murders, she could be indicted as an accomplice. If not,” I shrugged. “I doubt that anything worse can happen to her than happened tonight.”

He was quiet in my arms. Nothing worse could happen to her. She told me once that we each loved according to our natures and her nature had brought her to an empty place, where it was as easy to die as to love. I looked down at Josh. The light shone off his face. His eyes were full of questions to which I had no answer but one. But that one I could finally give.

“I love you, Josh,” I said.