Mike Faricy: Bombshell

“I don’t know that any of that is really important right now, we’re looking at a potential lawsuit here. I’ve spent the better part of last night and all of this morning doing damage control with the media.”

“A lawsuit?”

“We were stupid enough to hire you and put you in touch with the Hastings Hustlers. You said it wouldn’t be a problem, you’d just move us to the top of the list, thanks a bunch. You failed to mention it would be your shit list. I’ve been talking to lawyers all morning.”

“Tell me about it.”

“I, in fact we, have been advised not to have any contact with you. So that’s the only reason I’m calling, to tell you I’m not talking to you.”

“Well, at least they’re in Chicago, so you can get back…”

“Oh, haven’t you heard? They’re still here, the Hustler’s. Chicago cancelled. Seems what with the finger thing and now the assault from a local nut case up here, Chicago just doesn’t need the hassle. So they canceled. I’m sure the remaining cities on the tour will follow suit before the day is over. Nice job Dev, we’ve worked years to build up the image, do all sorts of good and you managed to destroy everything in about fifteen seconds.”

“Hey, how was I supposed to know… Hello. Hello? Justine?”

There was probably nothing positive to be gained by calling back and suggesting we’d been cut off.

I figured if I phoned Jimmy McNaughton he’d either refuse to see me or contact Justine and then refuse to see me, so instead I drove over to the Hustler’s hotel. Jimmy was in the dining room drinking a cup of tea, he is English after all. From what I could tell the Hustler’s were grazing on double cheeseburgers, double orders of fries and washing it all down with diet cokes.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing here? I’m about to call your police,” he said the moment he saw me.

“Jimmy, I want to explain. I didn’t do anything last night, I was just protecting myself. I’m sorry things developed the way they did. It wasn’t my intention…”

“Developed the way they did? You make it sound like you spilled a glass of wine on the carpet. Our tour is about to fall apart, the team enforcer has a sprained shoulder and a bone chip in her heel and you don’t like the way things developed? Bloody hell,” he was red faced, heading toward purple.

“I was just trying to block her kick.”

“You stupid little wanker, she kicked you because you grabbed her boobs.”

“I didn’t grab her boobs. She spit on me, grabbed me by the throat, told me to piss off and pushed me against the wall. It was just my natural reaction to push back. That’s all I did. The next thing I know she came flying back with some sort of Karate kick, I just blocked her and down she went. If she hadn’t tried to kick me how in the hell do you think I got hold of her ankle?”

He seemed to think about that for a moment.

“She said piss off?”

“Yeah, as a matter of fact she said, piss off, Yank. Not a reason to assault anyone, I agree, but put it all together, it’s just what happened. I’m the one who was attacked here, not her. Then they clubbed me over the head, knocked me out,” I said looking around the room. All the girls suddenly seemed to be making themselves scarce.

“I’m not going to press charges or anything. I’m sorry if she’s injured, I just wanted to apologize and set the record straight. That’s all.”

“Piss off, Yank,” he said absently. “Yeah, sounds a bit like her.”

My relief must have been obvious; Jimmy seemed to be deep in thought.

“Is there some way I can still help you?” I asked.

“Well, I think for the time being, we better have you stay away from the team, they might want to cut off more than your finger.”

Not the first time the thought had crossed my mind, staying away sounded like a good plan to me.

“Have you had any other incidents, any notes, phone calls, any more fingers?”

“No, as of last night most of our time has been taken up with the likes of you.”

“Let me see what I can find out on the finger front, all right?” I said.

Jimmy seemed to consider this for a moment, then nodded.

“Just as long as you stay away from the team. They’ve enough on their plate right now with things going all to hell.”

“You got it, thanks, Jimmy,” I said, then held out my hand.

He took it, shook with a firm grip.

“Now please, let me finish my tea in peace.”

The logical place to start seemed to be The Spot bar. I strolled in for a late liquid lunch of Leinenkugel beer.

“Dev, you fall down on the job last night,” Tommy asked as he poured my tap beer.

“Hunh?”

“Didn’t you tell us you were going to be hanging around that bunch of English girls, providing security? I read in the paper one of them was attacked by some nut case last night. Cute little thing, had her picture in the paper with some kids. You see it?”

“The paper? No, haven’t had the chance, yet. I wasn’t at the auditorium last night.”

“How’d you know it happened there if you didn’t see the paper?” he pushed my beer in front of me, waited for my reply.

“Heard a couple of them talking about it when they got back to their hotel. That’s where I was all night. Just came from there as a matter of fact, planning strategy.”

“Strategy?” he seemed to consider this, but didn’t add anything else.

After lunch I went back to the office and started making phone calls. Over the course of the afternoon I spoke with the police in Denver, Chicago, St. Louis and Kansas City. I decided it might be best to work backwards so I called Denver first and ended up speaking with a Detective named Kingston Quinn who sounded decidedly more black than Irish.

“Detective Quinn, thanks for taking my call, I’m working with Detective Norris Manning up here, we’re looking into an incident involving an English roller derby team, the Hastings Hustlers, they…”

“Bunch of fine looking ladies you ask me. You get to talk with any of ‘em?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I spoke with some of them as recently as last night, we’re interested…”

“Bunch of little hotties and when they talk, like to take all of ‘em home, ‘cept the wife wouldn’t be too happy with that.”

“Yeah, who could blame her, anyway, last night…”

“Yeah, saw something about that come across here. You’re up there in St. Paul, right?”

“That’s correct, see I wanted to ask a couple of questions regarding the envelope…”

“Yeah, some head case up there attacked one of those hot little girls? Listen you need any help, couple of us be on the next plane get that action solved real quick. Then maybe spend a little time with the girls, you know just to…”

“That’s very considerate of you, Detective, but I think the media sort of blew that story out of proportion, see the individual they…”

“Little girl barely a hundred pounds gets herself attacked by some jackass, like to cut more than a finger off that dude, you catch my drift. See how tough he is after I get through with him.”

“We’ll keep it in mind. Now about that envelope taped to the door of the bus.”

Once we established he was available to spend time with a room full of sexy English girls Kingston Quinn didn’t have a lot more to offer.

“Waiting on the analysis reports to come back. Not sure if you got budget cuts happening up there, but we’re dealing with that problem in every department, not to mention one or two more serious issues, you catch my drift.”

“I do, unfortunately, any guess when you might see a report, we talking another week, two?”