Mike Faricy: Bombshell

“Yeah, I ‘spose, well I guess I better get going,” Destiny said, and started to leave.

“Relax, stay here if you want. Maybe you can help me. I’m going to have to get her back to the hotel, but I don’t really want to carry her over my shoulder for three blocks. Any ideas? Who’s winning by the way?”

“Bombshells, they’re like totally killing ‘em. I can think of one way to get her back, I mean I think it might work, maybe. But, I don’t know if you’d want to like try it.”

The bout ended about fifteen minutes later. I sipped a Grain Belt, Destiny rambled on at length about the “totally awesome concerts” she worked at the auditorium and Heidi snored in the corner.

Once the final buzzer sounded and the lights came up Destiny said, “Let me go get something and I’ll like, give you a hand. Be a good idea if we wait ‘til everyone is just about out of here, anyway.”

“God, I really appreciate your help, Destiny, thanks,” I said. Then pulled a twenty out of my pocket and handed it to her.

“Oh wow, thanks man, I mean Mister Haskell.”

“Please, under the circumstances call me Dev,” I said, then glanced down at Heidi still snoring.

“It’s okay we’ve all got stories of rich bitches getting shit faced around here. This is nothing you should see some of the concert action. Once there was a couple going at it right in the middle of an Ozzie Osborn concert.”

“Ozzie never seemed to have that effect on me.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Destiny said then shrugged.

She left shortly after that with the promise of returning in fifteen minutes. The teams were still in the center of the arena, talking back and forth. I sipped my Grain Belt and watched as the crowd thinned out. There seemed to be a heavier than usual police presence down on the arena floor, but I chalked it up to security for the teams under the circumstances. A few minutes later the teams left the center of the arena and made their way to the lower level entrance and the locker rooms. They were flanked by four uniformed police officers.

A few minutes after that, a number of officers were running across the arena floor toward the lower level entrance, looking excited and talking into their radios. Just after that a paramedic team scampered across and headed down to the lower level. My guess was the Hustlers had found Sergeant Wayne.

It was closer to forty-five minutes before Destiny returned. The lights were on in the arena, the crowd was completely gone and cleaning crews were sweeping the aisles and hauling away wrappers, beer cups and cardboard food trays. Out in the center of the arena a crew in red shirts had begun to disassemble the banked track.

“God, really sorry it took so long, Dev. It’s crazy out there,” she said. She rolled in a red, two wheeled dolly in front of her like it was an every night occurrence.

“Problem?” I said, staring at the dolly.

“Oh. My. God! I’m not sure, everyone is totally freaked, something about a guy breaking into one of the locker rooms. Then the security jerk was involved, the cops, they had to call the paramedics. I don’t know, some reactionary, anyway, they weren’t letting anyone back up here. The entire place was like, under super lockdown.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, guess they’re looking for someone. I told them I had to move some stuff.”

“Not far from the truth,” I said, hoping they weren’t looking for me, specifically. “How are we going to get her out of here?” I motioned toward snore queen Heidi, in the corner.

“Well, if she can’t walk…”

“I’ve been her before, believe me, it’s best to not wake her and just let her sleep, she gets sort of violent and then real sick.”

“You mean like pukey?” she said, wrinkling her nose.

I nodded.

“Okay, well here’s what we do, we put her on this,” she said.

“The dolly?” I didn’t mean to sound so surprised.

“Yeah, its like got a belt and everything. You can just wheel her onto the handicap elevator hardly anyone uses it, leads you right out a private side door. I’ll go with you guys, case they try and hassle you or anything.”

“Gee, Destiny can’t thank you enough. Hey, you party after work?”

“You a cop?” she asked and looked at me warily.

“No, no nothing like that. I was thinking once we get out of here, you should come back and empty out that fridge, it’s on my corporate card. It seems the least I could do for all your help.”

“You mean it?”

“Sure, help yourself. Take it all, happy to help the cause.”

“That is so cool,” she smiled.

“Well, I suppose,” I said.

Destiny expertly rolled the two wheeled dolly into position. I had the feeling she may have done this a time or two before. I picked Heidi up, other then snorting a few times she had no reaction and I dragged her in front of the dolly.

“Okay, just hold her up, yeah that’s right,” Destiny said positioning the dolly. “Now tip her forward, a little more, okay, a little more. Perfect, okay, now tip her back,” she said. Once Heidi tipped back onto the dolly her head lolled to one side.

“God, she’s really out,” I said stepping back.

“Yeah, she’s way beyond shit faced.” Destiny said, then wrapped a red nylon belt around Heidi, clipped it at the side and ratcheted the belt to hold her snuggly in place. Heidi’s arms looked to be strapped to her sides.

“Here, you drive. Oh, and better grab her shoes, they look like they’re worth a few bucks.” Destiny said.

I stuffed the toe of both shoes into my trouser pockets, the stiletto heels hung out like little jets pointing behind me. Destiny led us down some back hallway I never knew existed, then took out a key and unlocked a security elevator.

“This is for wheel chairs and stuff?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she glanced at the key in her hand, “not exactly handicap access, is it?”

I wheeled Heidi on, her head lolled left and right a few times, but other than that she didn’t move. She seemed to be busy reestablishing her snoring pattern. Two levels down and the door opened onto a dim, empty hallway.

“The exit’s right back here,” Destiny said.

We walked down the hallway, only every third florescent ceiling light was on, casting everything in a sort of murky, flickering light. We rounded a corner and the door was maybe twenty feet away. A police officer was leaning against the wall, looking like he wished he was anywhere else. He straightened up as we approached.

“Here you are sir, I hope she’ll be alright, sorry it took so long,” Destiny said, then looked at the officer. “Epileptic seizure,” she said and smiled.

Heidi took this opportunity to mumble something completely unintelligible.

The officer nodded knowingly then held the door open for us.

“Good night sir, and thank you,” Destiny called, then turned just before the door closed.

I found myself with Heidi strapped and snoring on the two wheeled dolly. We were on a dark sidewalk that ran between the back of the Veterans Auditorium and whatever building was next to it. Six stories of brick walls on either side hadn’t let sunlight penetrate down to ground level for the past fifty years. The only illumination came from the glow off a light a half block away out on the street.

I watched as a guy’s silhouette pissed against the brick wall just a few feet from the street. He looked back in our direction as he stood there, but it was so dark he couldn’t see us. After a minute he zipped up and ran to rejoin his friends waiting out on the street.

As I wheeled Heidi toward the street she snorted once or twice, adjusted in a futile attempt to get more comfortable, and then seemed to settle down.