Mike Faricy - Bombshell

I was thinking about what Andy Lindbergh had told me yesterday, about the difficulty someone at a mortuary would have getting fingers. Harvesting was the term he had used. My cell phone rang, disturbing my complete lack of productivity.

“Haskell Investigations.”

“Hi Dev, its Justine.”

“Hi Justine, how’s it going.”

“Pretty good, say, we got a call from Jimmy McNaughton.”

“Yeah.” I said, cautious.

“He’d like you to give him a call, would you mind?”

“Any idea what he wants?”

“Yeah, he’s going to ask you to talk to Felicity Bard, see if things can’t be smoothed out and everyone can just move on. Would you mind, terribly?”

“She still sticking to her story?”

“I don’t know, I would guess yes, she is. But, I sort of understand, I mean it seems pretty obvious she’s lying, all her support has vanished. I think they’re just hoping to put the whole thing behind them and move on. We’ve scheduled a bout with them in a couple of nights, they’re trying to resurrect their schedule, get something put together so the trip over here isn’t a complete disaster.”

I felt like telling her yes, I minded, a lot. Then ask her what my standing was with the Bombshells? Her in particular, but I was still too mad to care. Justine and the Bombshell’s didn’t back me when I needed it so why should I come to the rescue now? So I said; “I’d be happy to talk with her, and I’ll be happy to call Jimmy?”

“Would you mind, terribly?”

Yes, I did mind terribly.

“Not a problem, I’ll call him as soon as we’re off the line.”

“Oh, Dev, that’s great, I don’t know how to thank you.”

I could think of a couple of ways, Spankie, but didn’t think it wise to elaborate. I dialed Jimmy’s number, he answered on the second ring. I had a feeling he’d been prepped to expect my call.

“McNaughton.”

“Hi Jimmy, Dev Haskell here, got a half minute to chat?”

“I do, how can I help you?”

“Look, I’m wondering if I came over and had a heart to heart with Felicity if that wouldn’t help to smooth things over and maybe we could all get this ahhh, situation, behind us and move on.”

“I think that’s a splendid idea, when can you come over?”

“You name the time, I’ll be there.”

“We take our lunch at one, they’ve a team meeting before that. Why don’t you plan on arriving oh, say quarter past two. I’ll bring you up to their room, myself.”

“Would you mind staying there, too? No offense, but I don’t think it would be the best of ideas to be in there alone with Felicity.”

“I can do that.”

“See you a little after two, then,” I said.

“Best to find me in the dining room, I’ll be having my tea.”

I thought it would be bad form to bring a baseball bat and beat Felicity across her fat head. So, I arrived dutifully a little after two. As promised, I found Jimmy sipping tea in the hotel dining room.

“Jimmy, nice to see you again.”

“Dev, thank you for coming in, would you care for a tea?”

“No thanks, not really a tea kind of guy.”

“Ready to have a go at her highness, then?”

“Yeah, let’s do it.”

We took the elevator. Nothing was said on the way up to the third floor nor as we walked down the hall to Felicity and Fiona’s room. I noticed the hotel security Jimmy had told me would be permanently stationed outside their room was nowhere in sight.

“You cancel the security you had outside their room?” I asked.

“Combination of things calming down and a bit of the proverbial budget crunch,” he said and knocked on the door.

Fiona opened the door almost immediately and gave me the requisite shrug of her shoulders along with a smile.

“Hi, Dev, nice to see you.”

“Nice to see you,” I said, Jimmy was already walking into the room and I followed.

“Felicity?” Jimmy asked looking around.

“Actually, she’s not here, Jimmy. I thought she’d be back long before now, but it seems she’s not. She wasn’t at the team meeting or lunch. You didn’t see her downstairs, in the dining room?”

“Where the hell did she go?” Jimmy asked.

“Some sort of errand, I don’t know, she took a taxi, a bright yellow one,” she said to me.

That didn’t really narrow things down. We stood there looking at one another when suddenly the door clicked open and Felicity, aka Emma Babe, sauntered in. She ignored me, nodded at Jimmy and walked over to a chair and sat down. She picked up the remote and clicked on the television, then sat in a chair looking out the window at the dumpster, scowling. The television had some muted soap opera.

“Hi, Felicity,” I said.

She gave a dismissive nod in my general direction and then went back to staring out the window.

Jimmy smiled and extended a hand indicating the chair opposite Felicity. I was thinking maybe I should pick it up and hit her over the head with the thing. Not a bad idea. Instead I asked; “Mind if I sit down?”

“Suit yourself,” she said continuing to stare out at the navy blue dumpster in the parking lot.

I gave Jimmy a look, hoped it suggested her flame was waving close to my fuse. If he picked up on my message he didn’t let on, instead he smiled and motioned toward the chair with his chin. I sat down, took my time getting comfortable, waiting for her to stop studying the dumpster and look at me, or Jimmy or Fiona. It became apparent that wasn’t going to happen.

“Felicity, Jimmy was gracious enough to let me come over and apologize to you about the incident the other night.” I swallowed down last night’s Jameson rising up from my stomach, gritted my teeth and gripped the arms of the chair.

She continued to stare out the window.

I thought if I hit the back of her head hard enough her forehead would bounce off the window and maybe that would get her attention. Into the Valley of Death.

“I hope you understand it was not my intention to touch you, any part of you, or hurt you in any way. I was simply wishing you good luck and things sort of got out of…”

“That how you do it over here, grab me boobs and give the little cow a good squeeze for luck?”

Jimmy and Fiona exchanged glances.

“Well, I think you know I didn’t grab you, and anything that happened wasn’t intentional, on my part.”

“Must have been my imagination that had your hands on me.”

“No, it wasn’t your imagination, once you yelled at me to ‘piss off, spit on me and pushed me I pushed you back to get you away from me, that’s all, but…”

“I know, you landed me in hospital, kept me over night, they did.”

Probably looking for a brain, I thought, then felt my fuse igniting.

“Yeah, and believe me if I had it to do over again I would have just let you swear at me, spit on me and kick me, and never reacted. I don’t know what I was thinking. So I’m sorry things worked out the way they did. I wish you a speedy recovery and all the best from here on for you and the entire team,” I said, then stood up.

I left out my condolences to everyone who had to deal with this pain-in-the-ass bitch in the future, but I think my flushed face and the killer glare in my eye got the message across.

Fiona’s eyes were wide, Jimmy sat there red faced.

“Nice seeing you again. Best of luck in your upcoming bouts. Don’t worry, I can show myself out.” I said, then opened the door before I picked Emma Bitch up and tossed her out the window.

“I’m really sorry,” Fiona whispered, out in the hallway.

“Not a problem, best of luck,” I said and continued down the hallway.

“I might still press charges,” Felicity called from inside the room.