Agatha Christie - The Secret of Chimneys

'Well, well,' said Lord Caterham cheerfully, 'everything seems to have been cleared up most satisfactorily.'

'Everything but one thing,' said Mr Isaacstein.

'What is that?'

The great financier looked steadily at Anthony.

'What did you get me down here for? Just to assist at a dramatic scene as an interested onlooker?'

Anthony shook his head.

'No, Mr Isaacstein. You are a busy man whose time is money. Why did you come down here originally?'

'To negotiate a loan.'

'With whom?'

'Prince Michael of Herzoslovakia.'

'Exactly. Prince Michael is dead. Are you prepared to offer the same loan on the same terms to his cousin Nicholas?'

'Can you produce him? I thought he was killed in the Congo?'

'He was killed all right. I killed him. Oh, no, I'm not a murderer. When I say I killed him, I mean that I spread the report of his death. I promised you a prince, Mr Isaacstein. Will I do?'

'You?'

'Yes, I'm the man. Nicholas Sergius Alexander Ferdinand Obolovitch. Rather long for the kind of life I proposed to live, so I emerged from the Congo as plain Anthony Cade.'

Little Captain Andrassy sprang up.

'But this is incredible - incredible,' he spluttered. 'Have a care, sir, what you say.'

'I can give you plenty of proofs,' said Anthony quietly. 'I think I shall be able to convince the Baron here.'

The Baron lifted his hand.

'Your proofs I will examine, yes. But of them for me there is no need. Your word alone sufficient for me is. Besides, your English mother you much resemble. All along have I said: "This young man on one side or the other most highly born is."'

'You have always trusted my word, Baron,' said Anthony. 'I can assure you that in the days to come I shall not forget.'

Then he looked over at Superintendent Battle, whose face had remained perfectly expressionless.

'You can understand,' said Anthony with a smile, 'that my position has been extremely precarious. Of all those in the house I might be supposed to have the best reason for wishing Michael Obolovitch out of the way, since I was the next heir to the throne. I've been extraordinarily afraid of Battle all along. I always felt that he suspected me, but that he was held up by lack of motive.'

'I never believed for a minute that you'd shot him, sir,' said Superintendent Battle. 'We've got a feeling in such matters. But I knew that you were afraid of something, and you puzzled me. If I'd known sooner who you really were I dare say I'd have yielded to the evidence, and arrested you.'

'I'm glad I managed to keep one guilty secret from you. You wormed everything else out of me all right You're a damned good man at your job Battle. I shall always think of Scotland Yard with respect.'

'Most amazing,' muttered George. 'Most amazing story I ever heard. I - I can really hardly believe it. You are quite sure, Baron, that -'

'My dear Mr Lomax,' said Anthony, with a slight hardness in his tone, 'I have no intention of asking the British Foreign Office to support my claim without bringing forward the most convincing documentary evidence. I suggest that we adjourn now, and that you, the Baron, Mr Isaacstein and myself discuss the terms of the proposed loan.'

The Baron rose to his feet, and clicked his heels together.

'It will be the proudest moment of my life, sir,' he said solemnly, 'when I see you King of Herzoslovakia.'

'Oh, by the way, Baron,' said Anthony carelessly, skipping his hand through the other's arm, 'I forgot to tell you. There's a string tied to this. I'm married, you know.'

The Baron retreated a step or two. Dismay overspread his countenance.

'Something wrong I knew there would be,' he boomed. 'Merciful God in heaven! He has married a black woman in Africa!'

'Come, come, it's not so bad as all that,' said Anthony laughing. 'She's white enough - white all through, bless her.'

'Good. A respectable morganatic affair it can be, then.'

'Not a bit of it. She's to play Queen to my King. It's no use shaking your head. She's fully qualified for the post. She's the daughter of an English peer who dates back to the time of the Conqueror. It's very fashionable just now for royalties to marry into the aristocracy - and she knows something of Herzoslovakia.'

'My God!' cried George Lomax, startled out of his usual careful speech. 'Not - not - Virginia Revel?'

'Yes,' said Anthony. 'Virginia Revel.'

'My dear fellow,' cried Lord Caterham, 'I mean - sir, I congratulate you, I do indeed. A delightful creature.'

'Thank you, Lord Caterham,' said Anthony. 'She's all you say and more.'

But Mr Isaacstein was regarding him curiously.

'You'll excuse my asking your Highness, but when did this marriage take place?'

Anthony smiled back at him.

'As a matter of fact,' he said, 'I married her this morning.'

'If you will go on, gentlemen, I will follow you in a minute,' said Anthony.

He waited while the others filed out, and then turned to where Superintendent Battle was standing apparently absorbed in examining the panelling.

'Well, Battle? Want to ask me something, don't you?'

'Well, I do, sir, though I don't know how you knew I did. But I always marked you out as being specially quick in the uptake. I take it that the lady who is dead was the late Queen Varaga?'

'Quite right, Battle. It will be hushed up, I hope. You can understand what I feel about family skeletons.'

'Trust Mr Lomax for that, sir. No one will ever know. That is, a lot of people will know, but it won't get about.'

'Was that what you wanted to ask me about?'

'No, sir - that was only in passing. I was curious to know just what made you drop your own name - if I'm not taking too much of a liberty?'

'Not a bit of it. I'll tell you. I killed myself from the purest motives, Battle. My mother was English, I'd been educated in England, and I was far more interested in England than in Herzoslovakia. And I felt an absolute fool knocking about the world with a comic-opera title tacked on to me. You see, when I was very young, I had democratic ideas. Believed in the purity of ideals, and the equality of all men. I especially disbelieved in kings and princes.'

'And since then?' asked Battle shrewdly.

'Oh, since then, I've travelled and seen the world. There's damned little equality going about. Mind you, I still believe in democracy. But you've got to force it on people with a strong hand - ram it down their throats. Men don't want to be brothers - they may some day, but they don't now. My belief in the brotherhood of man died the day I arrived in London last week, when I observed the people standing in a Tube train resolutely refuse to move up and make room for those who entered. You won't turn people into angels by appealing to their better natures just yet awhile - but by judicious force you can coerce them into behaving more or less decently to one another to go on with. I still believe in the brotherhood of man, but it's not coming yet awhile. Say another ten thousand years or so. It's no good being impatient. Evolution is a slow process.'

'I'm very interested in these views of yours, sir,' said Battle with a twinkle. 'And if you'll allow me to say so, I'm sure you'll make a very fine king out there.'

'Thank you, Battle,' said Anthony with a sigh.

'You don't seem very happy about it, sir?'

'Oh, I don't know. I dare say it will be rather fun. But it's tying oneself down to regular work. I've always avoided that before.'

'But you consider it your duty, I suppose, sir?'

'Good Lord, no! What an idea. It's a woman - it's always a woman, Battle. I'd do more than be a king for her sake.'

'Quite so, sir.'

'I've arranged it so that the Baron and Isaacstein can't kick. The one wants a king and the other wants oil. They'll both get what they want, and I've got - oh, Lord, Battle, have you ever been in love?'