Janet Evanovich - Twelve Sharp

A floral delivery van double-parked in front of the office and a guy got out and carted a vase of flowers into the office. 'Is there a Stephanie Plum here?'

'Uh-oh,' Lula said. 'Morelli must have done something wrong.'

I took the vase and put it on Connie's desk and read the card. TIL DEATH DO US PART. NOT LONG NOW.

'What the heck?' Lula said.

'One of my many secret admirers,' I said. 'Probably some serial killer who just broke out of prison.'

'Yeah,' Lula said. 'I bet that's it. Those serial killers are known for being romantic.'

'Did we get any new skips in?' I asked Connie.

'None this morning. The one high-end bond we still have out is Lonnie Johnson. I'd really like it if you could get a line on him.'

The front door banged open, and Joyce Barnhardt stalked in. She was still in black leather, wearing the stiletto-heeled black leather boots and the skin-tight, low-slung black leather pants and black leather bustier with her boobs squishing out the top. Her red hair was teased, her long artificial nails were polished and sharpened, her glossy red lips looked about to explode.

'I've got it! I've got the death certificate,' she said. She let the paper float down onto Connie's desk and she turned her attention to Meri. 'Who's this?'

'New BEA,' Connie said.

'You look like a cop,' Joyce said to Meri. 'Did you used to be a cop?'

'No,' Meri said. 'But my father was a cop.'

Joyce turned back to Connie. 'I want my money. This is as good as a body receipt, right?'

Connie wrote Joyce a check, and Joyce tucked the check into the pocket on her black leather pants.

'Aren't those pants hot?' Meri asked Joyce.

'Gotta look the part,' Joyce said. 'And nothing says bounty hunter like black leather. Toodles, ladies, I've got a date with a bad guy.'

'Maybe that's my problem,' Lula said when Joyce left the office. 'I don't look like a bounty hunter. But hell, I'd sweat like a pig in those pants.'

'I have things to do,' I told everyone. 'I just wanted to check in. I'll be back in an hour or so, and then we should go after Charles Chin.'

Lula walked me to my car. 'It was the Ranger nut who sent you those flowers, wasn't it?' she asked.

'Yes. And he left a message on my phone this morning.'

'And what about the funeral home? We left out the back door, but Meri said she was there, and you fainted, and then they locked all the doors and let people out one at a time. They were checking for the Ranger nut, weren't they?'

'He got behind me in the lobby somehow. We had a short conversation, and then he stun-gunned me.'

'You saw him?'

'Yes. It's strange. For a second, when you first see this guy you think Ranger. But then when you actually look at him you know it's not Ranger. And apparently he doesn't look like Ranger from the back or the side. Morelli and Tank weren't that far from me and didn't pick him out.'

'You be careful,' Lula said. 'You sure you want to go off on your own? I could ride with you.'

'Thanks, but I've got RangeMan surveillance. I'll be okay.'

Lula went back into the office; I locked myself into the Mini and called Morelli on my own cell phone.

'How's it going?' I asked him.

'Bob misses you.'

'I bet. What's on your dance card for today?'

'I'm doing a follow-up on a gang slaying. Between the feds and RangeMan and the maverick bounty hunters, there are so many people working the Carmen Manoso murder I get lost in the crowd.'

'The maverick bounty hunters are a problem. They're clutter.'

'Rangerman is working to get rid of them,' Morelli said, 'but they're like lemmings. You push a bunch off a cliff, and there are twice as many behind them.'

'I got a call from an old boyfriend this morning. I wasn't home when he called, so he left a message on the machine. And then he sent flowers to the office.'

'You're not going out with him, are you?'

'I don't have any plans at the moment. If I change my mind you'll be the first to know.'

'Appreciate that,' Morelli said.

'Everyone at the office thought the flowers were from you. Figured you'd done something bad.'

'What about you? Did you think they were from me?'

'No. You don't send makeup flowers. You send makeup pizza and beer.'

Ranger was at the dining room table, watching the computer screen. 'Last night Tank noticed there were security cameras in the funeral home. Common practice to lower insurance rates. The cameras aren't monitored, they're just there to record in case a negligence claim is filed. We thought there was a chance Scrog got caught on video, so we got the cards out of the cameras last night and have been going over them.'

'Does Dave know you have these cards?'

'Dave looked tired. We didn't want to disturb Dave.'

'I'm surprised you didn't have to wrestle the FBI for camera access.'

'They have to follow procedure. And they don't have the specialists I have.'

'Cat burglars?'

'The best in the business, not behind bars. We copied the cards, and the originals are already back in the cameras. We want the FBI to have access to this.' Ranger pulled a frame up and started the video rolling. 'Here's our man. He comes in from the side and moves directly behind you the instant you enter the lobby. Tank is on the wrong side to see him. Morelli is behind two women who are partially blocking his view. And when Morelli can see Scrog, this is what he gets…' Ranger did a stop frame and isolated the man behind me. 'Scrog is shorter and slimmer and is partially bald at the crown. The skin tone looks similar, but the overall appearance is very different. And he's not in black. Hard to tell from the camera angle exactly what he's wearing, but he's not dressed in SWAT clothes.'

Ranger wasn't in black either. Ranger was in jeans and a washed-out, loose-fitting grey sleeveless Big Dog T-shirt. He looked comfortable in the clothes and relaxed in my apartment. His hair was growing out, curling around his ears and falling across his forehead. It was a younger, softer look for him, and it was disconcerting. I didn't know this Ranger.

'Who are you?' I asked him.

'I'm always the same person,' he said. 'Don't judge me by my clothes.'

He hit play on the video, and I watched Scrog approach me. Scrog and I had a brief conversation, I grabbed his sleeve and opened my mouth, and in the next instant I went down and Scrog moved off and was lost in the swell of people.

'This is helpful,' I said. 'We know what he looks like from the back.'

Ranger paused the video and pushed his chair back. 'Come into the kitchen, and I'll play the message back for you.'

'It was great seeing you last night,' Scrog said. 'I probably shouldn't have taken a chance like that, but I couldn't help myself. I wanted to get close to you. I know the police are looking for me. They don't understand why I had to rescue Julie from those people. That's okay. I'm used to being misunderstood and underestimated. Soon I'll be able to rescue you, and then we'll all be together forever. Sorry I had to stun you last night, but you were getting too excited. You would have given us away.'

I instinctively moved closer to Ranger. 'Listening to him makes my stomach cramp.'

'So far he's textbook. Cautious at first and becoming increasingly bold… and careless. I want you to record a new greeting giving callers your cell phone. I don't want you to miss another opportunity to talk to him.'

'He sent flowers to the office. The card read, 'Til death do us part. Not long now.'

'We saw the delivery and already checked it out. He phoned it in and paid for it with a stolen credit card. You have to give this guy credit. He's got skills.'

I recorded a greeting on the answering machine and gave my cell number.

'I should get back to work,' I told Ranger. 'Vinnie is in the office today, and he's on a mission to clean up the FTAs.'