Janet Evanovich - Full House

She heard the rustle of bushes outside her window, and smiled. No bogeyman tonight, just the wind blowing through the shrubbery. She wouldn't have to lie awake until the wee hours, imagining the worst.

She felt safe in Nick's arms.

* * * * *

Billie took a deep breath and gave a loud satisfied sigh as she looked at the strips of crispy fried bacon draining on paper towels. It was the most incredible morning ever, she thought, whipping four eggs into an omelet. The sky had never been so blue, the sun so sunny, and her body had never felt so … mellow. Her entire world seemed to have expanded. She had it bad.

Nick had awakened her with a kiss that had quickly turned into lovemaking. Billie felt a tiny quiver in her stomach as she recalled the sound of his husky voice as she'd climaxed, and the look in his eyes as he'd emptied himself into her.

Nick was upstairs in the shower, and she was downstairs in the kitchen, unable to stop smiling. "Can you believe it?" she asked Buffy, who immediately thumped her tail in response, all the while eyeing the bacon. "I finally got laid."

Billie looked up in surprise when the front door opened and Deedee sashayed into the kitchen, followed by Frankie and a bronzed hulk who looked as if he might step on his hands if he didn't stand up straight. "Oh, hell," Billie muttered under her breath and put the eggs aside. She checked her watch. Eight-thirty. What was Deedee doing up at eight-thirty? "Isn't it kind of early for you?" Billie asked. "I didn't think you'd be home until this afternoon."

And she had a naked man in her bathroom, she reminded herself.

Deedee took off a pair of diamond earrings and dropped them in a coffee cup on the kitchen counter. "I haven't been to sleep yet. There was a super party at Hammerhead's house, with the most interesting people. And guess what? Ta-daaa," she called out with a flourish aimed at the man standing next to her. "I brought something home for you."

Billie noticed that Deedee had said "something" as opposed to "someone" and thought that was probably significant. "Gee, this is such a surprise," she managed, unable to think of how else to respond.

"Yeah. I knew you'd be excited. This is Carl. He runs a health spa and he's thinking of becoming a wrestler." Deedee rolled her eyes. "Wait until you see his quads! You'll swoon!"

Billie bit her lip. "Probably we should play it safe and keep his quads under wraps. I hate to swoon before breakfast."

Deedee wrinkled her nose at the bowl filled with whipped egg. "Breakfast. Yuck."

Carl jiggled loose change in the pockets of his rumpled cotton workout pants and directed his attention to Billie. "Deedee tells me you're trying to get into shape. I thought we could spend the day working on your body." He winked at her. "And then we could spend the night working on mine."

Billie felt her upper lip curl and was very carefully phrasing a reply when a masculine voice broke in from the hall. "That sounds like a great offer, Carl, but I'm afraid Billie and I have already made plans for the day."

Everyone turned and gaped at Nick, fresh from his shower, hair still damp, resplendent in a royal-blue towel precariously draped over perfect hips.

Deedee narrowed her eyes at her cousin. "What are you doing here?"

"Taking a shower."

Deedee let out a gigantic sigh. "Billie, Billie, Billie," she admonished in her Betty Boop voice. "How many times have I warned you, Nick is not for you? He's hazardous to women."

Carl took a step forward. "Should I punch him out?"

Nick casually leaned against the doorjamb, arms crossed over his chest, his look menacing. "Maybe I'd like to see you try."

Billie rapped a wooden spoon against the countertop to get their attention. "There will be no punching-out in my house!"

Deedee glared at Nick. "Shame on you, taking advantage of a … housewife." She turned to Billie. "Honey, this is not a marrying person. He's only after you-know-what. S-E-X."

Billie clapped her hand over her mouth, but she couldn't keep a giggle from escaping. "Uh-oh, too late. I'm afraid he's already had my body."

Carl snorted at Deedee. "I thought you said she was a nice girl. I only date nice girls."

"I understand, Carl," Billie said, trying to sound remorseful, when it was all she could do not to break out into hearty laughter. "Better luck next time."

"Look what you've done," Deedee said to Nick. "You've ruined everything. I'm never going to find a husband for her if you keep this up."

Nick looked at Billie. "So, you're looking for a husband, huh?"

"Well, I—"

"Darn right she's looking for a husband," Deedee snapped. "She's a single mother with two kids to support. Poor girl is barely making ends meet."

"I'm doing okay," Billie said, not wanting the group to think she was on the verge of public assistance. "Really."

Deedee ignored her. "I'm trying to help Billie find a good man, what with my contacts and all, but you're not making things easy popping out of the bathroom half-naked."

Nick padded to the refrigerator and took out a carton of orange juice. "Oh, what the hell, if it's such a big deal, I guess I could make the sacrifice and marry her."

At first Billie was too stunned to reply. Sacrifice? Sacrifice? She hitched her chin high. "Excuse me?" she said, her voice rising in pure indignation. Was this the man who had just made mad passionate love to her, the same man who had whispered endearments in her ears the night before and held her while she'd slept? "Did you just say what I thought you said? Did you use the word 'sacrifice'?"

"Oh, puh-lease," Deedee said, tossing Nick a dark look. "Any man in his right mind would jump for joy at the thought of having Billie as his wife. She's smart and beautiful and—"

Billie preened. "Why, thank you, Deedee."

"Her health is excellent," Deedee went on, "except her foot is still that yucky color. And look at her teeth. I'll bet she's never had a cavity in her life. And she's a lady," Deedee added.

"I might be willing to reconsider," Carl interrupted.

Billie crossed her arms over her breasts, suddenly feeling as though she'd just been placed on an auction block. She was growing more annoyed by the moment. Nick was willing to make a sacrifice and Carl had just offered to reconsider. Hell's bells, who did they think they were? She was no slouch, and she wouldn't be treated like one.

She forced a smile. "I appreciate your kind offers, gentlemen," she said, glancing from one man to another, "but frankly I'm not interested in either of you."

Nick poured himself some juice and chuckled. "And here I was about to suggest a double wedding." He winked at her.

Billie frowned. What was the wink supposed to mean? As if a giant light bulb had suddenly gone off in her head, she all at once realized Nick was trying to get rid of Carl and save her reputation for his having strolled out of her bathroom wearing only a towel.

Lord, but she could be thickheaded at times.

"Oh, Nick," she said, trying to sound breathless. "I didn't realize this was a real marriage proposal. And a double wedding, you say? What a wonderful idea!" She closed the distance between them. "I would love to be your wife." She slipped her arms around his waist, stood on tiptoe and kissed him passionately on the lips.

Nick noted the amused look in Billie's eyes and realized she was also playing the game, no doubt to dissuade Carl and convince Deedee to cease fixing her up with potential husbands.

"Are the two of you serious?" Deedee asked, eyes wide as saucers.

Nick draped his arm around Billie. "Absolutely," he said. "I don't know about Billie, but it was love at first sight for me. I'm willing to change my wild ways for her."

Deedee looked from one to the other. "This is weird."