Janet Evanovich - Full Tilt

"Tom Brown."

"Right."

"I can't afford to redecorate."

"But I can. Besides, I need the tax write-off."

Jamie shook her head. "You know, between you and Vera I don't stand a chance."

"I've got Herman Bates on hold, Max," Muffin said. "The Bates brothers seem to have this town tied up. There's a Bates's Computer and Office Supply store, a Bates's Furniture, and a Bates's Builder's Supply."

"Muffin is right," Jamie said. "The Bates family owns half the town. They've got the power and the resources to wipe me from the face of the earth."

"Now we have to find out how greedy they are. Muffin, put Mr. Bates through."

A gruff voice answered.

"Good morning, Mr. Bates," Max said. "I appreciate your holding."

"Is this Maximillian Holt?" he asked. "The guy who makes all those big business deals that I read about in Fortune?"

"Yep, that's me."

"Man oh man. What can I do for you?"

"Well, Herman, I'd like to do some business with you and your family while I'm in town."

"You're talking to the right guy."

"I'm completely renovating a business. A large building with offices. I'll need the name of a good contractor and interior decorator to begin with. The place needs carpentry work, painting inside and out, actually a number of things before we put in new rugs and furniture. Oh, and I'll need new computers. Top-of-the-line stuff, mind you. I may need some specialized office equipment, as well."

"Between my brothers and me, we can handle all your needs," the man said proudly. "Which building are we talking about?"

"The Beaumont Gazette." Max waited.

"The Gazette, huh? I'm afraid I don't do business with those folks anymore. They're a bunch of crazies. In fact, I've got an appointment to see my lawyer this morning concerning a little problem I'm having with them."

Jamie winced. She would be forced to close down the newspaper.

"Gee, that's too bad, Herman. I was counting on your help. Perhaps you could give me the name of someone else who could assist me."

Herman was silent for a moment. "Tell you what. I don't know how you're connected to the newspaper, but you sound nice enough. Why don't you meet me at the store before I open today? I'm going to have a lot of pissed-off customers coming in so I won't be able to talk to you once I open up."

"Yeah, I know about the advertisement," Max said. "I'm afraid it was a practical joke, but I can assure you Miss Swift had nothing to do with it."

"That's no excuse," Herman said. "She's responsible for what's printed in her newspaper." He paused and his voice was softer when he spoke. " 'Course I heard what happened over there last night. Sorry to hear it."

"Thanks, Herman. I've got an idea how you can avoid a crowd of angry customers."

"I'm listening."

"Put a wreath on your door."

"Come again?"

"No sin in closing if someone in the family has passed away," Max said, earning a dark look from Jamie.

Herman chuckled. "Now, that's a new one."

"Surely you have some long-lost aunt or uncle you could mourn."

"We're going to take a loss."

"You'll more than make it up with my business. Trust me."

"It's eight-thirty now. Why don't you come on over, and we can talk."

"Give me twenty minutes."

Muffin disconnected the call. "Well, that proves two of my theories," she said. "Everybody has a price."

"What's the other one?"

"You have no soul. Put a wreath on the door. That really stinks, Max."

Jamie nodded. "She's right."

"Okay, so I can be unscrupulous at times, but this way we avoid a lawsuit, get the newspaper building fixed up and new equipment installed. It's a win-win situation. Oh, and, Muffin. I want a couple of security guards stationed inside the Gazette building pronto. Unless Frankie has already hired everyone in town," he added. "By the way, how are you coming along with that job I gave you? Almost finished?"

Muffin sighed. "I'm working on it, Max, but it's going to take me a little while. This is no small task, and I've got technicians feeding me information twenty-four/seven. It's 'Muffin, do this; Muffin, do that.' I can't be expected to do everything. I need an assistant. Preferably a male one, with an English accent."

Jamie glanced from Max to Muffin and back to Max. "What did you ask her to do?"

"She's checking bank accounts and portfolios, both here and overseas, on half the people in this town."

"And I'm supposed to have the information lickety-split," Muffin said. "I'm good, in fact, I'm damn good, but what he's asking is impossible."

"Whose accounts are you looking into?" Jamie asked.

"Mostly city officials," Max said. "You can't misappropriate tax dollars without involving people in high places."

"Are you going to share the information with me when you get it?"

"I don't know if you can be trusted."

"You can just go jump in a lake, Holt." She noted the amused look on his face, but Jamie didn't think it was a bit funny. "You are really beginning to annoy me."

"Welcome to my world," Muffin said. "I have to deal with him on a daily basis."

"Now, Muffin," Max said. "You're going to make Jamie think badly of me, and I'll never win her over, despite her strong attraction to me."

Muffin snorted.

Jamie simply looked at him. "Has anybody ever told you that you have an ego the size of planet Earth? Darned if I've ever seen anything like it."

"Think about it, Jamie. You and me, white sand, crystal-blue water, and—"

"When pigs fly."

Max laughed out loud. "I like a woman who plays hard to get. More of a challenge."

Jamie shook her head in disbelief and looked out the side window.

"So, what do you think?" he asked. "Think maybe we could be more than friends?"

"You're being presumptuous," she replied. "I never agreed to be your friend. Besides, isn't it enough that you can have any woman you want? Do you have to have every woman you want?"

"You're not every woman, Jamie. Far from it."

"You don't know me."

"I know enough. I know you're a tough, no-nonsense woman who gets the job done no matter what."

"I'm flattered, Max, but I'm not interested. I believe in love and monogamy, words that haven't found their way into your vocabulary."

"You've got me pegged all wrong."

"I read People magazine."

"You can't believe everything you read, darlin'. I'll admit I've had a few affairs, but I'm really a nice guy."

"This is a pointless conversation, Max. I'm engaged."

"I just can't imagine you married to someone like Phillip Standish."

"What's wrong with Phillip?"

"He lives with his mother, for one thing."

"He lives on the family estate which he will inherit one day."

"He seems too—" Max paused. "Predictable."

"I like predictability."

"You're a risk-taker like me. You mortgaged your family home to the hilt in order to save your newspaper from foreclosure. That takes guts."

She looked at him. "How do you know about that?"

"Are you surprised I would take the time to look into your financial dealings before investing in your company?"

"What else do you know?"

"I know you attended one of the best journalism schools in the country and graduated in the top five percent of your class. I also know you were offered a job with the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, but you chose to come back to Beaumont."

"I belong here. It's my home. It took me a while to realize it, but it's true."

He turned into the parking lot of the Beaumont Gazette and pulled into an empty slot.

Jamie went on. "I can certainly understand your checking the solubility of my company. I would have done the same thing. But I draw the line at delving into my personal life."