Janet Evanovich - Full Speed

"Do you wish you'd had children with her?"

"Why are you asking these questions? You're beginning to sound like Muffin."

"I was merely trying to carry on polite conversation, Max. I certainly didn't mean to intrude."

"I don't question you about your love life." He bit off a piece of toast and chewed. "She was not an airhead. People just assumed she was because of the way she looked."

"The way she looked?"

"Well, hell, Jamie, the woman was …" Max paused.

"Gorgeous," Jamie said.

"Yeah, and she had this—"

"Great body," Jamie interrupted.

"Uh-huh."

Jamie dropped her fork, and it clattered loudly. "Well, now isn't that special."

"I thought so in the beginning."

Jamie stood and picked up her plate.

"What are you doing?" Max asked. "You haven't finished eating."

"I'm not hungry."

"You were starving a few minutes ago."

Jamie raked her eggs into Fleas's bowl, and the dog dived on it. "I'm really very tired."

Max chuckled. "You mean you're really very jealous."

Jamie cut her eyes at him. "I am not jealous. I just don't want to talk about your ex-wife's body."

"Hey, you're the one who brought it up."

Fleas finished eating and gazed at Max's plate.

Max stood. "You're saying you've never noticed a man's body?"

"I notice a man's eyes first."

"Uh-huh."

"But I've dated some very fit men, Max."

"You want to see fit?" Max suddenly lifted his shirt, exposing a flat, hair-roughened stomach. "Feel that."

Jamie decided her first mistake was looking. Oh God. He had one of those hard washboard stomachs that she'd only heard women talk about. And that hair, the way it fanned out so nicely across his stomach, the way it whorled around his navel and— She dropped her gaze, found herself suddenly staring at his zipper. Oh God, oh God, oh God. It didn't help that his unshaved jaw made him even more appealing.

Max grabbed Jamie's wrist and pressed her hand against his abdomen.

Skin touched skin.

"It's hard as a rock," he said proudly. "Not an ounce of flab anywhere."

Jamie swallowed. Felt like a giant turnip was trying to make its way down her windpipe. Felt like something had cut off her breath and she was going to have to use the Heimlich maneuver on herself in order to get air.

She jerked her hand free. "Would you cut that out!"

"I was trying to make a point." Max pulled his shirt down, grabbed his plate, and raked his food into Fleas's bowl. The dog scrambled toward it.

"He's not supposed to be eating that," Jamie said.

"You fed him yours."

"I decided to give him a little treat. I don't want him to get used to eating people food on account it isn't good for him. I'm going to bed. Come on, Fleas, let's go."

"You're letting him sleep in your room? Man, that's one lucky dog."

Jamie ignored him.

Fleas wolfed down the remaining food before following Jamie into her bedroom. She closed the door and locked it. "I know what you're thinking," she said. "You're thinking I didn't handle that very well."

He belched in response.

* * * * *

Jamie waited until Max went to bed before going out to his car. She needed a friend, and Muffin, despite being a computer, was the closest thing she had at the moment.

She punched a set of numbers into the alarm panel, hit a button, and the garage door rose automatically. She hurried inside and yanked open the car door.

"Hey, Muffin, it's me," she said once she'd climbed into the car.

"Jamie, don't you ever sneak up on me like that again! I almost hit the panic button."

"This place has too many alarms," Jamie grumbled. "I can't go to the bathroom without fear of setting something off."

"What are you doing here?" Muffin asked. "I thought you'd gone back to Beaumont."

"I decided to come to Tennessee on my own," she said. "You know how badly I want to do a story on Harlan Rawlins and his mob buddies. So, I said to hell with Max and came on my own."

"Where are you staying?"

"With Max."

"Oh." Muffin paused. "Did I miss something?"

Jamie filled her in on all that had happened since her arrival.

"You actually went to Harlan's church and told him you were a sex addict?" Muffin said in disbelief.

"Yep. After all, you're the one who told me he had a weakness for women. You should have seen the look on his face. I'm meeting him tomorrow for private counseling. I wish you could see me, Muffin. I look like I'm peddling poontang, for sure." Jamie laughed. It was good talking to Muffin again. And easy to forget she was a voice-activated computer.

"It sounds dangerous to me, kiddo. What does Max have to say about this?"

"He wasn't exactly thrilled to see me at church, but we got past that. By the way, Max and I are supposed to be married."

"Oh God, this'll never work."

"It has to, Muffin. This is the chance I've been waiting for. My big break. And it's only the beginning."

"Listen, Jamie, you don't know what you're getting into. This Rawlins guy could be dangerous. Especially if he's in tight with the mob like we think he is."

"OK, if I sound like I'm not taking it seriously it's because I'm excited. But I'm very much aware of the risks. I'm not leaving anything to chance. It's not like Max and I haven't faced danger before."

"The two of you were very lucky to get out of Beaumont alive," Muffin said. "You can't afford to take chances now."

"I promise I'll be careful. Look, I have to get back to the house in case Max wakes up. Don't tell him I talked to you. Try to act surprised when he tells you I'm back."

Muffin sighed. "I knew this was going to get complicated."

* * * * *

Max tossed in his bed for an hour before he climbed out and pulled on his jeans. He slipped from the house quietly. A moment later he was telling Muffin all that had taken place since they'd last talked.

"Jamie just blew into town in an old pickup truck with an ugly bloodhound in the back," he said. "I couldn't let her go after Rawlins on her own, so I convinced her to work with me. She's staying at my cabin."

"How are the two of you getting along?"

"Jamie promised not to be difficult."

"And what did you promise?"

Max sounded defensive when he spoke. "Are you saying I'm difficult?"

"Now where would I get an idea like that?"

"OK," he said begrudgingly. "I promised not to disable any more bombs. You got anything for me?" he asked, stifling a yawn.

"I'm still working on it. Have you and Dave finalized your plans?"

"Yeah, but then Jamie showed up and that changed everything."

"You have to admire her spunk."

"Yeah, I guess. I just hope she doesn't get us all killed."

Jamie shivered as something wet and moist nuzzled her ear. "Cut it out, Max." She pulled the bed pillow over her head and sank farther into the feather mattress. The pillow shifted. She was jolted fully awake, this time by a wet tongue at the back of her neck. Her scalp tingled and she could feel the goose pimples on her arm. She shouted in irritation, "Max, I said stop it!" She yanked the pillow aside as Fleas skittered beneath the tall bed, toenails clicking across the old plank floors.

"Oh, damn," she muttered. "I must've had another X-rated dream about Max."

Coming off the bed, Jamie dropped to her knees and peered beneath it. "I'm sorry, boy. I thought you were this pervert I know." She offered her hand. Fleas sniffed once and thumped his tail in response.

"Come on out. I won't hurt you."

The dog hesitated and then crawled from beneath the bed. Jamie regarded him. His folds seemed more prominent this morning. "Jeez, pal, a little collagen in those wrinkles would work wonders, you know."

The dog cocked his head to one side. His skin seemed to slide with the motion. Jamie shook her head sadly and glanced about the small bedroom. She was still tired. After her visit with Muffin she'd lain awake for a good two hours, finally falling asleep around 2:00 a.m. She gave a wide unladylike yawn.