William Johnston - Max Smart and the Perilous Pellets

“Sakes alive!” Lance Chalfont said. “He must be half fish and half man.”

“But we’re not,” 99 said to Max. “How will we get inside the installation?”

“Headquarters has undoubtedly considered that,” Max replied. He opened the black satchel and began rummaging through it. “We will probably find equipment in here that will- Ah, yes!” He brought out two small packages. “Here we are. These packages are labeled ‘Diving Gear.’ ”

Max and 99 opened the packages.

“Here’s a wet suit,” Max said, “and here’s a- A clothespin?”

“You put that on your nose, so you can keep your hands free,” 99 said. “It explains that in the instructions.”

“Well, it’s probably not the latest thing, but it’ll have to do,” Max said.

“Thar she blows!” Lance Chalfont shouted.

“What?”

“The middle of the ocean,” Lance Chalfont replied, pointing.

Max and 99 looked out the window.

“Where?” 99 asked.

“Right there,” Max answered. “Right where that X is. See it?”

“Oh… yes.”

Max and 99 slipped into their wet suits and pinned the clothespins to their noses. Then the helicopter descended until it was hovering over the X.

“I’ll be waitin’ right here,” Lance Chalfont said, “keepin’ my meter runnin’. That’s a little silent birdman joke.”

“We know,” Max nodded. He turned to 99. “Ready?”

“Ready, Max.”

“Close your eyes,” Max said. Then, to Lance Chalfont, he called out, “Now!”

Lance Chalfont tipped the helicopter and Max and 99 tumbled out the open doorway.

A second later, they hit the water, then bobbed to the surface. After taking in a deep breath, they dived. And seconds after that they reached the installation’s exhaust outlet and crawled through it, reaching the inside, where fresh air was available again.

Max and 99 exhaled, then inhaled, taking in deep breaths.

“Safe!” 99 sighed.

“Doomed!” an unfamiliar voice boomed.

Max and 99 peered through the dimness of the compartment. In the doorway they saw a large figure. Then the figure moved, approaching them. It was a small man, who had cast a large shadow. He, too, was wearing a wet suit. He was smiling sinisterly. Otherwise, he looked completely normal, except that his ears appeared not to be ears, but gills.

“Dr. Gill, I presume,” Max said.

“Very good, for a wild guess,” Dr. Gill replied.

“Let me introduce myself,” Max said. “I am-”

“I know. You are Max Smart. And your companion is Agent 99. I recognized you the instant I saw you. I study the ‘Wanted’ posters sent out by KAOS. After all, there’s not much else to do down here.”

“Fine,” Max said. “Now that that’s settled, we can get down to business. And the first item on the agenda is a comment you made when we first entered your arsenal. ‘Doomed’ you said, I believe. Was there any particular significance to that statement?”

Dr. Gill smiled sinisterly again. “You are my prisoners,” he replied. “And, in time, after I have toyed with you, I intend-naturally-to destroy you.”

“All right, that explains the comment,” Max said. “Now then, item number two. How do you intend to keep us prisoner? Do you have a band of armed cutthroats to guard us?”

“You will see,” Dr. Gill replied, “that the whole installation, in a sense, is a cell. There is no need for guards. In fact, I am quite alone down here. At least, I was until you arrived.”

“I see,” Max nodded. “Then what is to stop me from hurling myself across the room at you, delivering a karate chop to a sensitive area of your person, rendering you unconscious, binding you, gagging you, then taking you back to Control with me as a prisoner?”

“Your distaste for violence?” Dr. Gill guessed.

Max shook his head. “As much as I dislike violence, I never hesitate to use it when it appears to be the simplest means of making a point.”

“Then perhaps this will stop you,” Dr. Gill smiled, showing Max and 99 a tiny pillbox-size gadget that he held in his hand.

“That’s hard to believe,” Max replied.

“Then I will demonstrate,” Dr. Gill said. Holding up the gadget, he pressed a button on its side.

Nothing appeared to happen.

“Maybe the batteries are low,” Max smiled.

But suddenly 99 clutched her throat. “Max! Air!”

Max responded immediately. He clutched his own throat. “99! Air!”

“Now, you understand,” Dr. Gill said. “I shut off the air supply, which is controlled by this gadget. I am unaffected, however, as you can see. I have a store of air in my lungs that will last me almost indefinitely.”

“I believe!” Max choked.

Dr. Gill pressed the button again. And a moment later Max and 99 were able to breathe once more.

“Is it clear now that you are my prisoners?” Dr. Gill said. “If you make any attempt at violence, or to escape, I will simply press the button, and you will suffocate in seconds.”

“Yes, well, that seems pretty clear,” Max replied. “But it does bring up a question. Why didn’t you destroy us just then?”

Dr. Gill sighed sadly. “The truth is, Max, I am a lonely fish.. uh, that is, man. I long for companionship. None of the KAOS agents will stay down here with me. I’m not good company, they say.”

“Oh… why is that?” Max asked.

Dr. Gill grinned evilly. “I keep shutting off the air supply,” he explained. “It’s a nervous habit.”

“If they were really your friends they would overlook little things like that,” Max said. “I know if you were a Control agent and you invited me to stay down here with you for a while, I certainly wouldn’t crab about a minor inconvenience. Incidentally, have you ever thought of switching your allegiance to Control-where you’d be among true friends?”

“It’s too late,” Dr. Gill replied. “I’m in too deep.”

“I see what you mean,” Max replied.

“Now,” Dr. Gill said, gesturing toward the doorway, “shall we have lunch? And enjoy a little polite conversation?”

“Is there any other choice?” Max asked.

Dr. Gill pressed the button on the gadget.

“Max! Air!” 99 cried.

“99! Air!” Max choked.

Dr. Gill pressed the button again. “Never question my suggestions,” he warned. “It irritates my nervous habit.”

“We’ll try to remember that,” Max panted.

Dr. Gill led the way out of the compartment. Max and 99 followed him at a short distance.

“Look for a place to plant the explosive,” Max whispered.

“There isn’t any place, Max! These steel walls and this steel floor and this steel ceiling, and no furnishings. He lives like a hermit.”

“Yes, the old crab.”

A few moments later, Dr. Gill ushered them into his kitchen. It was adequately furnished, but, at first glance, there didn’t appear to be a hiding place for the pellet.

“Please be seated,” Dr. Gill said, gesturing toward the table and chairs. “I’ll prepare lunch. Is there, by any chance, anything special you’d like?”

“How about lobster?” Max suggested.

Dr. Gill stiffened and looked at him coldly. “You’re suggesting cannibalism, Mr. Smart!” he snapped. “The lobster is one of my own kind!”

“Sorry about that,” Max replied meekly. “We’ll eat anything you prepare.”

“Good, good. I picked some fresh seaweed this morning,” Dr. Gill said. “It grows wild down here, you know.”

“I don’t blame it,” Max replied. “Trapped in the ocean, I’d probably grow a little wild myself.”

Dr. Gill reached for the gadget he had placed on the counter.

“Ah-ah! Nothing personal!” Max said quickly.