William Johnston: And Loving It!

“Chief,” Max said, “did you say several centuries ago? Isn’t his family a little old by now?”

“Max, these are his descendants. As I was saying, they still own the castle and the island. It’s sort of a white elephant-they can’t find anyone to take it off their hands. So they rent it out to anyone who wants to get away from it all for awhile.”

“Well, renting a white elephant is certainly a novel way of getting away from it all,” Max said. “Frankly, if I wanted to get away from it all, I’d rent the castle instead.”

The Chief sighed. “99, will you explain it to him,” he said.

“Max, the castle and the white elephant are one and the same,” 99 said. “The castle is called a white elephant because-” She interrupted herself, looking suddenly puzzled. “Why is it called a white elephant?” she said to the Chief.

“I think I can answer that,” V. T. Brattleboro offered. “It’s called a white elephant because one day when it was very hot it was looking for a bucket of cold water, intending to cool itself off with it, and, inadvertently, it stuck its trunk into a bucket of white paint instead.”

“Oh. . well, that makes sense,” Max said.

“But that isn’t right,” the Chief said to Brattleboro.

“Of course not. But it sounded like something he would believe,” Brattleboro replied, indicating Max.

The Chief put a hand to his head, groaning. “Does anybody remember what I was saying before we got sidetracked by that white elephant?”

“You were telling us that Lucky Bucky Buckley has taken Guru Optimo to the castle on the island,” 99 replied.

“Oh. . yes. Now, we have a special plane standing by at the airport, waiting to take you to the West Coast. And we have a special helicopter standing by on the West Coast, waiting to take you to the island.” He looked at his watch. “You better get going. Are there any questions?”

Silence.

“Max, you must have a question,” the Chief said. “You always have a question.”

Max shook his head. “No questions, Chief.”

“Don’t you want to ask why the owners of the castle don’t try paint remover if they’re having trouble getting it off their hands?”

Max’s eyes opened wide. “Did they get the paint on their hands, too? I didn’t know that, Chief. Brattleboro didn’t mention it in his story.”

“Goodbye and good luck,” the Chief said.

“So long, Chief,” Max replied. “Don’t stick your trunk in any paint buckets.”

Max, 99 and Brattleboro headed for the door. But as they reached it, the Chief called, “Max. . just a minute. I’d like to go over the details of the case with you once more, just to be sure that it’s completely clear in your mind.”

“That won’t be necessary, Chief.”

“Nevertheless, Max, I insist,” the Chief said. “99, you and Brattleboro can wait for Max outside.”

“But, Chief, that’s a waste of precious time,” Max objected. “I understood everything you said-perfectly.”

“Max!”

“Chief, have a little faith, will you?”

“Max, for-!”

“We’ll go out and hail a cab to take us to the airport, Max,” 99 said. “We’ll be waiting for you.”

99 and Brattleboro departed, closing the door after them.

“Chief, that was embarrassing,” Max said. “Do you want that KAOS agent to think that you don’t trust me?”

“Max, I wanted you to stay because I have something to say to you that I didn’t want Brattleboro to hear.”

“Oh. Well, why didn’t you say so, Chief?”

“I couldn’t. Brattleboro was- Oh, nevermind. Max, this is what I wanted to tell you. I suspect that Brattleboro has been ordered by his superiors at KAOS to double-cross you and recapture Guru Optimo for them.”

“But, Chief, we’re working together.”

“Max, do you really think we can trust those double-dealing dirty rats? They’re dedicated to evil! So, I’m giving you the same order that Brattleboro’s superiors gave him. Do you understand what you’re supposed to do?”

“The same as Brattleboro.”

“Right.”

“You want me to double-cross me and recapture Guru Optimo for KAOS.”

“No, Max.”

“Say, Chief, I have an idea. Why don’t I double-cross Brattleboro and recapture Guru Optimo for Control? After all, we had him first.”

“Great, Max. That’s even better than my idea.”

“I think so too, Chief. Frankly, turning Guru Optimo over to KAOS didn’t make a lot of sense-at least, from our point of view.”

“You’ve opened my eyes, Max.”

“As a matter of fact, I’ve opened my own eyes too, Chief. I always had great respect for you and your ideas. But that suggestion you made to turn Guru Optimo over to KAOS was a real clunker. Maybe you need a rest.”

“I think I do, Max,” the Chief agreed. “That’s why I’m sending you to an island.”

“Oh. All right, Chief. Try to enjoy yourself while I’m out there on that island, not knowing from one minute to the next whether I’m going to live or die.”

“Max, there’s a lot of truth to that,” the Chief said, suddenly grim. “Not only will you have to contend with Guru Optimo and Lucky Bucky Buckley, but you’ll also have to be on guard constantly against V. T. Brattleboro. You’ll be facing a danger more threatening than you’ve ever faced before.”

Max’s eyes narrowed. “And. .”

“Yes, Max-and what?”

“. . and loving it!” he replied.

It was late evening when the special plane landed Max, 99 and V. T. Brattleboro on the West Coast. As the Chief had promised, a helicopter was waiting. They boarded it and it immediately took off, headed for the island.

“You’ll find some survival kits there by your seats,” the helicopter pilot told them. “The kits contain everything you’ll need to survive in the jungle-theoretically, at least. Personally, if I were going to be dropped in a jungle, I’d rather have a good fast getaway car.”

“Couldn’t you drop us somewhere near the castle?” Max suggested.

“My orders are to drop you as far away from the castle as possible,” the pilot replied. “I said to them, ‘But they’ll never survive-they’ll be eaten alive by savage jungle animals, or they’ll succumb to thirst or hunger or the unbearable heat.’ But they had an answer for that.”

“What was it?” 99 inquired.

“They said I tend to exaggerate.”

“How far is it to the island?” Max said.

“About a thousand feet-straight down,” the pilot replied. “We’re over it now.”

Max looked out the window. “I don’t see a thing.”

“It’s one of those old-fashioned unlighted jungles,” the pilot explained.

A few moments later, the helicopter settled down in a small clearing. The pilot switched off the engine, then Max, 99 and V. T. Brattleboro jumped down to the ground, carrying their survival kits.

“That’s amazing,” Max said to the pilot. “You found this tiny clearing in total darkness! How did you do it?”

“I have the eyes of a cat,” the pilot replied. “I can see for miles in absolute blackness. Once, for instance, standing in Los Angeles, in the middle of the night, I looked east and saw that the beacon on the Empire State Building in New York was out.”

“Fantastic!” Max said.

“At least, I guess it was out. I couldn’t see it, anyway.”

The pilot started the engine. “Good luck with those survival kits!” he called. “Boy, you’ll sure need it!”

The helicopter rose, then disappeared into the night.

Max looked around. “I wonder where we are on the island?” he said. He squinted. “All I can see is what looks like the shapes of a bunch of palm trees.”