William Johnston - The Spy Who Went Out to the Cold

“Cool it, baby,” the second man replied. “I’ll fly back to the ship and land on the deck and then everybody but that Control agent can get back in and we’ll take off again.”

“Man, I’m glad I got you this time instead of Sidney,” the first man said. “You know what Sidney would have suggested?”

“What?”

“Nothing. He never had any ideas. I always had to do all the thinking for both of us. You know why Sidney has insurance and a savings account? Because I told him to. Sidney is so dumb, he couldn’t rescue a pussy cat out of a tree without directions. One thing I’ll admit, though-he’s good to his mother on his own. But what did it ever get him?”

“There’s the ship,” the second man said. “Can you hold them for another couple more minutes?”

“I can do anything,” the first man replied. “With you as my partner, I’m inspired, Rodney.”

The helicopter hovered a few feet above the deck. The first man released his hold on Max’s ankles, and Max and von BOOM dropped to the deck, then scrambled out of the way as the helicopter landed.

99 rushed up to Max and von BOOM. “You’re safe!” she cried happily.

“Not quite yet, 99,” Max said.

The KAOS agents were climbing down from the helicopter, guns in hand.

“Let’s get them, Max!” 99 said.

Max looked at her, hurt. “99, that’s my line. I say ‘Let’s get them,’ and you say, ‘With you, Max!’ Okay?”

“Sorry, Max.”

“Just don’t be a Sidney, 99.”

“A what, Max?”

“I’ll explain later. Right now-let’s get them, 99!”

Max dived at the first KAOS agent and tackled him below the knees. Surprised, the man threw up his arms to try to keep his balance, and his gun went flying. Meanwhile, the second KAOS agent had stopped to assist his comrade. His concern was an error. For, as he. started to drag Max away, 99 caught him from behind with a karate chop. Hitting the deck, the second man lost his gun, too.

Max jumped to his feet, pulled his gun, and held it on the two KAOS agents. “Well, it looks like the tables are turned,” he said crisply.

“To me, it’s no surprise,” the first man said. “I’ve never known a Rodney yet who wasn’t a jinx. Boy, you’re just lucky that Sidney isn’t here. Would he handle you two! Wow!”

“All right, on your feet!” Max said, brandishing the pistol. “We’ll just stash you in the brig until-”

“Max. .” 99 said, pulling at Max’s sleeve. “Professor von BOOM-he’s gone!”

Max clapped a hand to his brow. “I did it again. What did I say?”

99 thought back. “Let’s see. . I said, ‘Let’s get them, Max.’ Then you said, ‘99, that’s my line.’ Then I-”

“That’s it, 99! Line! He’s headed for the ship’s post office! After him!”

Max and 99 whipped around and dashed down the deck.

“Folks!” the first KAOS agent called after them.

Max and 99 halted. “Yes?” Max called back.

“Could we get in on this?” the first man asked. “After all, you know, your loss is our loss.”

“Just get a move on!” Max replied. “If we don’t catch him in time, he’s liable to mail himself back to the mainland.”

Max and 99, joined by the two KAOS agents, rushed from the deck and down a corridor to the ship’s post office. Professor von BOOM was nowhere in sight.

“Excuse me,” Max said to the clerk, a young man with oversized glasses. “Have you seen a dumpy little man who looks as if he needs a keeper?”

“Oh, lots,” the clerk replied. “In fact, you’re my two-hundred-and-twelfth.”

The first KAOS agent poked the second KAOS agent in the ribs with his elbow. “Reminds you a lot of Sidney, doesn’t he?” he said, indicating the clerk. “Always some dumb answer.”

“I’m talking about one dumpy little man in particular,” Max said to the clerk. “He was probably here just a few minutes ago.”

“I remember him,” the clerk nodded. “He was very upset about the long line at the stamp window. So, I said to him, ‘I’ll give you a tip, buddy. Come back in two minutes. The line always disappears after you’ve been gone for two minutes.’ Well, when I said I’d give him a tip, he started to leave. But then when I said ‘line,’ he came back. So, I said, ‘Don’t you like the tip, buddy?’ and he left again. I haven’t seen him since.”

Max nodded. “That makes sense. We’ll find him in the dining room.”

“Boy, that’s a Sidney if I ever heard one,” the first KAOS agent said to the second KAOS agent. “When a bunch of garbage makes sense, it’s a Sidney.”

Max and 99 dashed down the corridor toward the dining room. The two KAOS agents hurried after them. But, as before, when they reached the dining room, it was deserted.

“Gone!” Max groaned. “Not a soul around. Not man nor beast.”

“Only birds,” the first KAOS agent said.

“Birds?”

The KAOS agent pointed out the porthole. “Seagulls.”

Max scowled. “I wonder. .” He went to one of the portholes. Above it was posted a small sign, saying: Please Do Not Feed the Seagulls. “This explains it,” Max said. “He read this sign. One of the words reminded him of something. We’ll find him back at the helicopter.”

“One of these words reminded him of a helicopter?” the first KAOS agent said doubtfully. “Which one?”

“Seagull.”

“Is that another Sidney?” the second KAOS agent asked the first KAOS agent.

The first KAOS agent whistled shrilly. “Not just another,” he said. “That’s a super Sidney!”

“Max, we better get back there fast,” 99 said worriedly. “The helicopter engine was left running.”

Max and 99 raced back along the corridor, and, with the two KAOS agents right behind them, soon emerged on deck. They spotted Professor von BOOM seated in the helicopter, studying the controls.

“No!” Max shouted. “No, not that!”

Max sprinted ahead. The two KAOS agents increased their speed, too, trying to keep up with him.

Reaching the helicopter, Max leaped aboard. But the heel of his shoe-phone caught on the edge of the hatchway and he stumbled forward and fell against the controls. Immediately, the helicopter shot straight up into the air.

“Now, you did it!” Max complained to von BOOM.

“Me? I was looking for a way to shut off the engine so those two KAOS agents couldn’t escape. You’re the one who got us up in the air.”

“We seem to be still rising,” Max noted. “I wonder how this thing is operated? Another thing I wonder is how high we are.” He looked out the hatchway. To his surprise, he found that the two KAOS agents were dangling from the landing gear. “We have hitchhikers,” he said to von BOOM, pointing.

Von BOOM got up and looked out the hatchway. “They’re climbing up,” he said.

Max slipped into the pilot’s seat. “This machine ought to be easy enough to handle,” he said, examining the controls. “If I just move this stick-”

The helicopter flopped over on its back, dropping Max and von BOOM in a heap on the ceiling of the bubble.

From above them came a cry of panic. “Get Sidney away from them controls!”

“They’re still with us,” von BOOM commented. He looked down. “But that’s not the worst,” he said. “We’re rising downward.”

Struggling, Max reached the stick. The helicopter rolled over on its side.

“I think I’m getting the hang of it,” Max said.

“It’s better,” von BOOM agreed. “Now, we’re rising sideways.”

“Just a lit-tle adjustment. .” Max said, moving the stick.

The helicopter righted itself, and Max scrambled back into the pilot’s seat.

“They’re climbing again,” von BOOM informed him, peering out the hatchway.