Erle Gardner: The Monkey Murder

Leith nodded, twisted the head of one of the canes. It promptly unscrewed. Leith looked inside and gave a sudden start of surprise.

“Why, Scuttle,” he said, “there are emeralds in here!”

“No, sir, not emeralds, sir. Just the imitations which you ordered.”

“Ordered, Scuttle?”

“Well, you mentioned them as being things which would enable you to solve the mystery of the murdered monkey.”

Leith said reprovingly: “Scuttle, I don’t like this. I was outlining merely an academic solution. Why the devil would I want to solve the mystery of the murdered monkey?”

“I’m sure I don’t know, sir, except that it would be a source of great gratification for you to know that your reasoning had proved correct.”

Leith said irritably: “I don’t need to go to all that trouble to demonstrate the correctness of my reasoning, Scuttle. It’s self-evident when you consider the basic facts of the case.”

The spy wet his thick lips with the tip of an anxious tongue.

“Yes, sir,” he said eagerly. And then after a moment, “You were about to mention what you consider the basic facts, sir?”

Lester Leith eyed him coldly. “I was not, Scuttle.”

“Oh,” the spy said.

“By the way,” Leith observed, “I’ve given Evelyn Rae a month’s wages in advance.”

“Yes, sir. So Miss Rae told me, sir. She said that you didn’t wish to be disturbed for an hour so I waited to give you the canes. You were, perhaps, busy?”

Leith said, “Perhaps, Scuttle.”

“I’ve just had the devil of a time, sir, if you don’t mind my saying so,” the spy complained.

“How come?” Leith inquired.

“Cleaning up after those young women.”

“Were they untidy?” Leith asked.

“Chewing gum, sir. I don’t think I ever had quite so disagreeable a job in my life. It was stuck to the underside of the chair arms, the chair buttons, under the table. It was in the most unlikely places and the most annoying places, sir. You’d drop your hand to the arm of the chair, and a wad of moist chewing gum would stick to your fingers.”

Leith yawned, and stifled the yawn with four polite fingers. “Doubtless, Scuttle,” he said, “you’ll remember in the call which I sent out for secretaries, I asked for gum chewers who were careless with their parking, inclined to be promiscuous with their leftovers. Doubtless, Scuttle, the young ladies were merely attempting to show that they were properly qualified for the position. After all, Scuttle, you know jobs aren’t easily obtained these days, so one can hardly blame the young ladies for being anxious to secure one which pays a good salary.”

The spy said: “That’s one of the things I couldn’t understand... if you don’t think I’m presumptuous, sir.”

“What is that, Scuttle?”

“ Why you wanted a young woman who was such an inveterate gum chewer and what you were pleased to describe as such a promiscuous parker.”

Leith nodded. “I dare say, Scuttle.”

“Dare say what, sir?”

“That you couldn’t understand it,” Leith said.

The spy’s face flushed an angry brick-red.

“And now,” Leith said, “I have some preparations to make. By the way, Scuttle, did you notice in the newspaper that Mr. Mainwaring was to address the Explorers’ Club tonight on ‘Changes in the Psychology of Native Religions’?”

“Yes, sir,” the spy said.

“Probably it will be a most interesting lecture,” Leith observed.

“Did you intend to be present?” Beaver asked.

“I?” Leith inquired. “Good heavens, no, Scuttle! I’d be bored to death, but I merely commented that the lecture would probably be interesting... to those who have a taste for that sort of thing. By the way, Scuttle, you’d better pack my bag, and get me a drawing room on the seven-twenty train tonight.”

“A drawing room, sir?”

“Yes, Scuttle.”

“Very good, sir. Where to?”

“Oh, clean through,” Leith said airily. “As far as the train goes. I don’t believe in halfway measures, Scuttle.”

The valet said, “I thought perhaps you wanted it only as far as Beacon City, sir.”

“Beacon City?” Leith inquired. “Why the devil should I want to go to Beacon City?”

“I’m sure I don’t know, sir,” the spy said.

“And I’m quite sure you don’t,” Leith observed in a tone of finality as he terminated the interview.

After Leith had left the room, the big spy, his face twisted with rage, shook clenched fists at the door.

“Damn you,” he said. “Damn your sneering, supercilious hide! One of these days I’ll have the pleasure of watching you in a cell, and when I do, I’ll give you something to think of! You’re quite sure I don’t, eh? You and your chewing gum. Bah!”

The spy sat down in the big chair, mopped his perspiring forehead, then pocketing his handkerchief, wrapped his thick fingers around the arm of the chair. With an exclamation of annoyance, he jumped up and scrubbed at his fingers with the handkerchief.

“Another wad of gum!” he exclaimed irritably. Wearily, he opened the blade of a huge pocketknife, dropped down to his knees, and prepared to scrape off the moist wad of chewing gum.

Something green caught his eye. He tapped it experimentally with the blade of his knife. Then, with sudden interest showing in his eyes, he cut off the wad of gum, and stared at the piece of green glass which had been embedded in it.

For several seconds, the spy stared with wide, startled eyes. Then, with the wad of chewing gum and the glass gem still smeared on the blade of his knife, he stretched his long legs to the limit as he dashed for the telephone to call Sergeant Ackley.

“Hello, hello, hello, sergeant,” Beaver called as soon as he heard the sergeant’s voice on the line. “This is Beaver talking. I’ve got the whole thing doped out.”

“What thing?” Sergeant Ackley asked.

“That monkey murder.”

“Go ahead,” Sergeant Ackley ordered. “Spill it.”

“The murder of the monkey was just a blind,” Beaver said. “The chewing gum is the significant thing about the whole business. Remember that the nurse sat on a table and chewed gum all the time the customs officials were searching Mainwaring, and then, of course, the customs officials searched her .”

“Well, what about it?” Sergeant Ackley asked in his most discouraging tone. “What the devil does gum chewing have to do with it?”

“Don’t you see, sergeant?” Beaver said. “While she was chewing gum with a certain amount of nervousness natural to a young woman under those circumstances, she was able to feed large quantities of gum into her mouth without exciting suspicion.”

“Well?” Sergeant Ackley asked in a voice well calculated to chill even the most loyal supporter.

“Well,” Beaver went on, speaking slightly slower and with less assurance, “you can see what happened. While she was chewing gum, she sat there on the table, swinging her legs. She’d chew for a while, and then she’d take a wad of gum out of her mouth and stick it on the under side of the table. Then she’d start chewing more gum. Now, she had those emeralds with her . While they were searching the baggage and asking questions of Mainwaring, she stuck those emeralds in the gum on the under side of the table in the customs inspector’s office right under his very nose. Then, after they’d finished searching her and her baggage and Mainwaring and his baggage, she made an excuse to run back to the office of the customs inspector. You’ll remember that the newspaper said she thanked him for his courtesy. Well, while she was thanking him, she reached her hand under the table, and slipped out the emeralds and walked out with them. It was cleverly done.”