Erle Gardner - The Monkey Murder

“I’d require them by tomorrow morning at the very latest. I— What’s that, Scuttle?”

“You were talking about the canes, sir, when you wanted them.”

“Good heavens,” Leith said. “ I don’t want the canes. I was merely working out an academic solution for a crime. Under no circumstances, Scuttle, are you to take me seriously.”

“Yes, sir,” the spy said.

“And I don’t want the canes.”

“No, sir.”

“Nor the cotton.”

“No, sir.”

“But,” Leith said, “you might get me the secretary, Scuttle. Have each agency send its most proficient gum chewer.”

Sergeant Ackley sat at a battered desk in police headquarters and scowled across at the undercover man who had finished making his report.

“Damn it, Beaver,” he said. “The thing doesn’t make sense.”

The undercover man sighed resignedly. “None of his stuff ever makes sense,” he said, “and yet somehow he always fits everything together into a perfect pattern and whisks the swag right out from under our noses. I’m getting tired of it.”

“Of course,” Sergeant Ackley went on, “this suitcase is important. You can see what happened, Beaver. The robber, whoever he was, stopped in at the depot and checked this suitcase.”

“That, of course, gives us a clue to work on,” the spy observed. “But Heaven knows what’s in that suitcase. Leith told the baggageman to open it, familiarize himself with the contents, and not to let anyone have it who couldn’t describe those contents. Now, of course, we could go down there with a warrant and—”

“Absolutely not,” Sergeant Ackley interrupted. “That’s foolish, Beaver. We’ve been working for months to catch this man, and now that we have a perfect trap all prepared, we’d be foolish to go down and steal the bait ourselves.”

“Then you don’t think the gems are in the suitcase?”

“Why the devil should they be?” Sergeant Ackley asked.

The undercover man shrugged his shoulders, and said, “Stranger things have happened.”

“Well, not that strange,” Sergeant Ackley snapped. “After all, the robber took considerable chances in order to get those gems. He undoubtedly must have followed Mainwaring from India. That much of Mainwaring’s story is true; and the robber, once having secured possession of those stones, certainly made tracks for parts unknown. He’s probably thousands of miles away from here by this time, traveling by airplane, but there must be something in that suitcase — something which fits into the scheme of the thing. But I don’t see how it’s going to do Leith any good, because he can’t describe the contents of that suitcase any better than we can.”

“Well,” Beaver said, “I’ve made my report.” And his voice indicated that he considered himself relieved from further responsibility.

Sergeant Ackley said: “We’ll plant a couple of men around the depot. The minute that suitcase leaves the place, we’ll get busy and follow it to its destination. If Leith picks it up, so much the better. If he sends some messenger, we’ll follow the messenger until he leads us to Leith. If it’s an accomplice of the crook, we’ll follow him. Of course, we’ve known all along that Mainwaring’s account of the crime was fishy. We felt certain the stickup was over those gems. That was why I wanted you to get Leith interested in working it out. Of course that suitcase may... well, we’ll just keep that as bait.”

Beaver got to his feet.

“Well,” he said, “I’ve told you everything I know. Now, I’ve got to get busy and give those girls a once-over as they come in. I suppose they’ll have chewing gum stuck all over the place.”

Sergeant Ackley assayed a ponderous attempt at humor. “Be careful they don’t gum the works, Beaver.”

The undercover man started to say something, then changed his mind, and marched to the door.

“Be sure to keep me posted, Beaver,” Sergeant Ackley warned. “This case is the most important one you’ve handled yet. We’ll catch Lester Leith redhanded. We’ll get enough proof to convict Mainwaring of smuggling, and if those two gems are equal to descriptions, we’ll pick up a nice reward.”

The undercover man said: “You thought you had him before. If you’ll take my advice, you’ll figure out what he wants those two canes for and where those four counterfeit stones fit into the picture. Otherwise you’ll come another cropper.”

“That will do, Beaver,” Sergeant Ackley roared. “ I’m running this case. You get back on the job and stay there!”

“Very well, sergeant,” the undercover man said with that synthetic humility which he had learned to assume until it had become almost second nature to him.

He opened the door a few inches, oozed his huge bulk out into the corridor, then quietly closed the door behind him.

Sergeant Ackley reached for the telephone.

The undercover man surveyed the dozen young women who had gathered in response to Lester Leith’s summons. They sat grouped about the room in postures which were well calculated to show what Lester Leith’s memorandum had referred as to “shapely means of locomotion.” Each seemed vying with the other to attract attention to the fact that she was possessed of the necessary qualifications.

As might have been expected, however, from the nature of the request which had been sent to the employment agency, only those young women who had seen enough of life to become slightly calloused to the treatment afforded a working girl had applied. The qualification of being a blatant and inveterate gum chewer had also tended to accomplish the same purpose. Had Lester Leith deliberately sought to acquire a young woman who knew her way around, who was willing to take chance, and was unusually self-reliant, he could not have thought of any means better designed to give him exactly what he wanted.

Beaver, the undercover man, entered the room and surveyed the twelve waiting applicants, noted the rhythmic swing of the rapidly chewing jaws, heard unmistakable evidences of a proficiency in gum popping; and his black greedy eyes swept in eager appraisal the exposed lengths of sheer silk terminating in shapely, well-shod feet.

The undercover man took from his pocket twelve twenty-dollar bills, and cleared his throat.

Twelve pairs of eyes fastened on those twenty-dollar bills. The girls, with one accord and as though at some preconcerted signal, quit chewing, some of them holding their jaws poised, the wad of gum balanced precariously between upper and lower molars.

The valet said: “You young ladies are all applicants for this position. Mr. Leith has instructed me to give to each applicant a twenty-dollar bill. This will be in addition to the three hundred dollars a month salary which is to be paid to the one who gets the job. Mr. Leith has asked me to state that he appreciates your courtesy in coming here, and he wanted me to tell you that he felt quite certain that each of you had... ‘the external qualifications’ were the words he used,” the spy said, letting his eyes once more slither along the row of shapely limbs. “In just a moment Mr. Leith will—”

Lester Leith interrupted him by flinging open the door of his sitting room.

“Good afternoon,” he said.

Twelve pairs of eyes changed from cynical appraisal to interest.

“Good afternoon,” the applicants chorused.

Leith looked them over and said: “Obviously since there is only one position, eleven of you must necessarily be disappointed. I have tried to make some small contribution which will alleviate your disappointment somewhat, and, as you are all working girls, I believe that it is only fair to all concerned to pick a person to fill the position in the quickest manner possible. I will, therefore, look you over, and interview the person I consider the most talented first. I believe you understand that I am looking for young women with symmetrical limbs, and women who are inveterate gum chewers.”