Erle Gardner: The Monkey Murder

“Say,” one of them said, “what’s the idea about the gams?”

“Just what do you mean?” Leith asked.

“Is this a job or ain’t it?” the girl asked.

“This,” Leith assured her gravely, “is a job.”

“Well,” the girl said, “I didn’t want to have any misunderstandings, that’s all.”

Lester Leith surveyed the girl with interest. “What,” he asked, “is your name?”

“Evelyn Rae,” she said, “and I think I’m speaking for most of the others as well as myself when I say that I came up here to look the proposition over. I’m not so certain I’m making an application for the job. I don’t like that crack about what you call shapely means of locomotion. I do my shorthand and my typewriting with my hands.”

One or two of the others nodded.

A blond at the far end of the line shifted her gum, and said: “Speak for yourself, dearie. I’ll do my own talking.”

Lester Leith smiled at Evelyn Rae. “I think,” he said, “you’re the young woman I want to interview first. Come in, please.”

She followed him into his private sitting room, surveying him with frankly dubious eyes.

“You may think I’m the one you want to work for you,” she said, “but I’m not so sure you’re the person I want to be my boss.”

“I understand,” Leith said. “I understood you the first time.”

“All right,” she said. “What are the duties?”

“Well,” Leith told her, “you will take a train out of the city which leaves the depot at seven twenty tonight. You will arrive in Beacon City at nine thirty. From there on, the train is a limited train, making no stops until after midnight. I’ll travel with you as far as Beacon City. We will have a drawing room.”

“Oh, yeah?” she said. “That’s what you think.”

“At Beacon City,” Leith went on heedless of the interruption, “a suitcase will be placed aboard the train. You will not open that suitcase. Under no circumstances are you even to look in it. At approximately ten p.m. you will be arrested.”

“Arrested for what?” she asked.

“For being an accessory after the fact in the theft of two emeralds,” Leith said.

“What’ll I be guilty of?”

“Nothing.”

“Then how can they arrest me?”

“It’s a habit some of the more impulsive officers have,” Leith pointed out.

“Well, I don’t like it.”

“Neither do I,” Leith told her.

“What else do I do?”

“You will continue aboard the train in the custody of the officers until they make arrangements to stop and take you off and return you to the city. At that time, you will be released. The officers will apologize. You will retain counsel and threaten a suit for false arrest. The officers will be glad to compromise. I don’t think you’ll receive a very large sum by the way of a cash settlement, but you doubtless will wind up with sufficient pull to square any parking or speeding tickets you or your friends may get within the city limits for some time to come. There will be no other duties.”

“Is this,” she asked, “a line of hooey?”

Leith took three one-hundred-dollar bills from his pocket.

“I am,” he said, “willing to show my good faith by paying you a month’s salary in advance. You look honest to me.”

“Honest but direct,” she said. “What’ll be doing in that drawing room between Central Depot and Beacon City?”

“Reading.”

“What’ll you be doing after the train leaves Beacon City?”

Lester Leith smiled, and said, “The less you know about that the better.”

Evelyn Rae looked at the three hundred-dollar bills speculatively. “That,” she said, “is a lot of money.”

Leith nodded.

“And not much work,” she added.

Again Leith nodded.

“What else am I supposed to do?” she asked.

“Chew gum,” Leith said. “Chew large quantities of gum. The gum, incidentally, will be furnished as a part of the traveling expenses. You will not have to pay for it.”

She studied him for several seconds with thoughtful worldly-wise eyes, then she slowly nodded her head, and said: “I don’t believe you’re on the level, but what’s the odds? It’s a go.”

Leith handed her the three one-hundred-dollar bills.

“And the first duty which you have,” he said, “will be to explain to the other applicants that the position is filled.”

She said: “Well, I’ve got to talk fast to put that idea across, particularly with that blonde.” She moistened her fingers, slipped a wad of chewing gum from her mouth absentmindedly, and mechanically stuck it under the arm of the chair.

Lester Leith nodded to himself, smiling his approval.

As she reached for the doorknob, Leith said:

“And you will start your duties at once. Please explain to Scuttle, my valet, that I do not wish to be disturbed for the next hour, and, in the meantime, arrange to pack your suitcase and get ready to travel. You will meet me at the Central Depot tonight, ready to board the seven-twenty train.”

When the door had closed behind her, Leith opened a drawer in his desk, and took from it a piece of clear green glass which had been ground into facets, giving it the general appearance of a huge gem. Tiptoeing across to the chair where the young woman had been sitting, he took the piece of glass and pushed it up into the wad of chewing gum, held it there by a firm steady pressure of thumb and forefinger for several seconds, then gradually released it.

The valet quietly opened the door of Leith’s private sitting room, thrust in a cautious hand, and then eased himself through the narrow opening.

Lester Leith, watching him with eyes that were lazy-lidded in amusement, said: “Scuttle, it doesn’t cost any more to open the door wide enough to walk through, instead of opening it a few inches and squeezing through sideways.”

“Yes, sir. I know, sir,” the spy said. “You mentioned it to me before. It’s just a habit I have, sir.”

Leith stared at him with wide startled eyes.

“Scuttle, what the devil are you carrying under your arm?”

“The canes, sir.”

“The canes, Scuttle?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good heavens, what canes?”

“Don’t you remember, sir, those that you ordered, the ones that have hollow handles, and one of them has an adjustable ferrule so it can be telescoped and locked in position?”

“Scuttle,” Lester Leith said, “ I didn’t want those canes.”

“You didn’t , sir? I thought you told me to get them.”

“Why no,” Leith said, “I merely mentioned that I thought a person who had two canes such as that and an attractive secretary who was addicted to promiscuous gum chewing could solve the mystery of the murdered monkey. But I told you not to get the canes.”

“I’m sorry, sir. I must have misunderstood you. I thought you wanted to solve it.”

“No, no!” Lester Leith exclaimed. “I was merely outlining an academic solution.”

“But you’ve hired the secretary.”

“I know I have,” Leith said. “That’s an entirely different matter. I hired her on general principles.”

“I’m sorry, sir. I’m frightfully sorry, but I thought you wanted me to get the canes. Now that I have them, sir... well—”

Leith said: “Oh, well, now that you have them, I may as well take a look at them. Pass them over, Scuttle.”

The spy handed over the canes. Leith regarded them with pursed lips and narrowed eyes.

“It’s rather a neat job,” the spy said. “ You see, they’re canes with just a knob for a handle, and that knob unscrews. The joint is rather cleverly concealed, don’t you think so?”