Лилиан Браун - The Cat Who Knew A Cardinal

When Van Brook told Anne Boleyn to stop simpering like an idiot, the flashing of Fran's steely gray eyes could be seen even from the balcony. As for Dennis, his square jaw was clenched most of the time. At one point Dave Landrum, who was playing Suffolk, threw his script at the director and walked out. Qwilleran doubted that anyone would return for rehearsal the following night. He doubted, moreover, that Henry VIII would ever open.

Nevertheless, the rehearsals stumbled along with a new Suffolk, and Qwilleran received reports on the play's progress from Larry, with whom he had coffee at the Dimsdale Diner twice a week.

Larry, whose royal beard was growing nicely, said, "Hilary's always picking on poor Edd Smith, who wouldn't be in the club at all if Dr. Halifax hadn't ordered it as therapy. Edd still doesn't project, even though Carol coaches him. He shouts the first two words, then trails off into a whisper. Dennis has come to his defense a couple of times. There's a real personality clash flaring up between Dennis and Hilary."

"How is Carol taking it?"

"She's being a saint! She puts up with Hilary because she hopes to learn something. If you ask me, she's learning what not to do while directing a group of amateurs. He works hard with some and ignores others. He butters up the woman from Lockmaster and insults everyone else."

"Is she good?"

"Sure, she's good, but Carol or Fran could have done as well."

"Who is she, anyway?" Qwilleran asked.

"Her name is Fiona Stucker. I don't know anything about her except that she played Katharine in the Lockmaster production of Henry five years ago."

"How are the student extras coming along?"

"Carol is working hard with the kids, getting them to walk like sixteenth- century nobles instead of couch potatoes. I think Derek, with his five roles and great height, is going to provide the comic relief in this play. He's so conspicuous that the audience will recognize him as the executioner even with a black hood over his head. And I'm afraid he's going to get a laugh during Katharine's death scene. When he enters as a messenger toward the end of the play - his fifth role, bear in mind - Katharine's line is This fellow, let me ne'er see again. We all have to struggle to keep a straight face, and the audience is going to crack up!"

"The play can use some comic relief," Qwilleran said.

"Yes, but not during Katharine's death scene."

On opening night the audience made all the right responses. They wept over Buckingham's noble farewell, gasped at the magnificence of the coronation, and suppressed their tittering over Derek's frequent entrances. There was a rumble of excitement during the crowd scenes, when their teenage sons and daughters paraded down the center aisle as guards with halberds, standard bearers with banners, officers with tipstaffs, noblemen with swords, countesses with coronets, and vergers with silver wands.

Onstage there were only two miscues and one fluff - not bad for opening night. Qwilleran, fifth row on the aisle with Polly Duncan as his guest, cheered inwardly when Dennis delivered his poignant speech, cringed when Eddington mouthed words that could not be heard, felt his blood pressure rising when Fran appeared as the beauteous Anne, and waited fearfully for Derek to ruin Katharine's death scene. Fortunately the director had deleted the lines that would get an inappropriate guffaw.

The next time Qwilleran met Larry for coffee, the actor said, "I have to admit that Hilary's good as the cardinal. Despite his built-in arrogance he manages to make Wolsey's repentance convincing. But I have a feeling that he resents the public's adoration of Buckingham. When they flock backstage after the show, it's Dennis they want to see. And when Dennis makes his first entrance and says Good morning and well met, you can hear the hearts palpitating in the auditorium."

Qwilleran said, "Your Henry is perfect, Larry - straight out of the Holbein portrait."

"That's what Hilary wanted." He rubbed his chin. "I'll tell you one thing: I'll be glad when I can shave off this beard."

Three weeks later he had shaved off the beard, VanBrook was dead, and Dennis had disappeared without explanation.

-4-

The Monday following the Orchard Incident, as it came to be labeled by the Moose County Something, was a gloomy day suitable for the grim police business taking place in the barnyard. The comings and goings of officialdom ruined Koko's morning bird watch. He liked to take his post at the window-wall overlooking the orchard, from which he could see red, yellow, gray, blue, and brown birds flitting in the branches of the old trees and scrubby berry bushes, once cultivated but now growing wild.

Koko's particular favorite was the male cardinal who called every morning and evening in company with his soberly dressed mate. With his red plumage, kingly crown, and black face patch emphasizing his patrician beak, he conducted himself like a monarch of birds. There appeared to be mutual appreciation between the cardinal and the aristocratic cat. Koko sat almost motionless, with the last three inches of his tail fluttering to match the fluttering of the bird's tail feathers.

At one point during the overcast morning a van pulled into the yard, and a photographer unloading camera cases, lights, and tripods was challenged by the police. Qwilleran assured them that this was john Bushland, commercial photographer from Lockmaster, who had an appointment to shoot the interior of the barn.

Bushy, as he was called, was an agile, enthusiastic, out-going young man who joked about losing his hair early. "Hair Today; Gone Tomorrow" was the slogan on his sweatshirt. Seriously he said to Qwilleran, "I heard about the trouble. What's the latest?"

"Police are investigating. That's all I know. What's the reaction in Lockmaster?"

"To tell the truth, everyone's relieved. They were afraid he'd get tired of Pickax, and they'd get him back again. Got any idea who shot him?"

"I suspect it was someone from Lockmaster trying to make it look like someone from Pickax. Did you know VanBrook when he was principal down there?"

"Not personally. Not having kids, Vicki and I weren't involved in that scene."

Bushy regarded the octagonal mass of stone and silvery shingles with awe. "I like those triangular windows around the top. We should do some exteriors, but not while the police cars are here."

"Sorry it's not a sunny day," Qwilleran said.

"All the better for interiors. We won't have to contend with the glare."

"Come on in. Ready for a cup of coffee?"

"Not right now. I want to work first." When they carried the gear indoors, Bushy was amazed by the lightness of the interior. "I expected it to be dark. All these white walls, all this light-colored wood - it makes my job a lot easier."

"That's what I wanted - a minimum of dark corners and shadows. It's too easy for cats to make themselves invisible in a dark environment, and I like to know where they are at all times. Otherwise I worry." He handed Bushy the binoculars. "Up there on one of those radiating beams you can see the mark of the original builder: J. Mayfus & Son, 1881. I'd like you to get a close-up of that if possible. Shall I lock the cats up in their loft?"

"It won't be necessary. Who did the furnishings?"

"Fran Brodie. I didn't want anything rustic, and she said that contemporary furniture would accentuate the antiquity of the structure."

In the lounge there were two sofas and an oversized chair upholstered in oatmeal tweed - all boldly designed, square-cut pieces. The tables were off-white lacquered cubes.

"You don't see anything like this in Lockmaster," Bushy said.

Qwilleran pointed out certain items that he wanted included in the pictures: the pine wardrobe, the bat prints, the printer's typecase, and the Mackintosh coat of arms. "My mother was a Mackintosh," he remarked.