Рита Браун - Sour Puss

The Really Important Characters

Mrs. Murphy —Harry's tiger cat watches everything and everybody. She's smart but more critical, given the messes her human gets into. Mrs. Murphy is level-headed and a quick thinker.

Pewter—Harry's gray cat. She has a bit of a weight problem and does not appreciate being reminded of same. She goes along with Mrs. Murphy, often grumbling, because she lives in fear of missing something.

Tee Tucker—The bravest corgi in the universe. She puts up with Pewter's complaining. She and Mrs. Murphy make a good team. She does love Pewter too, if only Pewter would shut up.

Owen—Tucker's brother is Susan's dog. He possesses all the corgi qualities of brains, sweetness, stamina, and the willingness to herd anything.

Flatface—The great horned owl, female, lives in the cupola of Harry's barn. She slightly disdains the groundlings but recognizes they are her family, damaged though they are. Life without wings must be dreadful.

Simon—A possum who never saw anything shiny he didn't like. He takes anything broken or left out. He's timid, but he likes to show his treasures to the other animals.

Matilda—An old, huge blacksnake, she doesn't much like anyone but she tolerates them. Her comings and goings are determined by the temperature, and the chatter of the warm-blooded creatures can be irritating. Like Flatface and the cats, she is death to vermin and, therefore, highly useful on a farm.

Jed—Toby's donkey doesn't have much between those two long ears. Jed may be the only creature Toby loves and trusts.

The Horrid Blue Jay—Devious, beautiful, likes to shout in that most unmelodic voice of his, he lives to torment the cats. He also drops stones on other birds' eggs. He's an all-around bad actor.

Harry's hunters and broodmares—As it's spring, they're turned out, so they're not part of the story this time. The foals are healthy and happy. Mrs. Murphy especially likes horses. Pewter would like them better if they ate tuna or even chicken, because they often drop some of their food. She's not lowering herself to eat hay or crimped oats.

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Sour Puss

1

"Mary Minor, wilt thou have this man to be thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance, in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love him, comfort him, honor and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only to him, so long as ye both shall live?"

"I will," Harry answered in a clear voice.

The Reverend Herbert Jones, in his sonorous tone, then asked, "Who giveth this woman to be married to this man?"

Susan Tucker, next to Harry, said, "I do."

Fair, smiling, repeated what he had memorized. "I, Pharamond Haristeen, take thee, Mary Minor, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sicknessand in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth."

Perched on the balcony ledge, Mrs. Murphy, Harry's tiger cat, and Pewter, the roly-poly gray cat, observed intently. Tucker, the corgi, sat on a bench next to Mildred, the organist.

"Finally,"the dog sighed.

"They're right for each other."Mrs. Murphy had cat's intuition about such matters.

"They tried it once, the second time should be the charm."Pewter wished the ceremony would speed along, because she was eager to attend the reception. The extravagance of foods thrilled her far more than contemplating human rituals.

"If you think the farm runs along like a top now, you just wait until Fair puts his back into it. He's strong as an ox."Tucker had always loved the six-foot-five-inch veterinarian. The feeling was mutual.

"Does this mean we won't be sleeping on the bed? I mean, do we have to put up with their thrashing around and all that moaning and groaning?" Pewter cherished sleep almost as much as food.

"Why would it be any different now, Pewts? Flop on the end of the bed and when they're done then go up and sleep on the pillow,"Mrs. Murphy replied.

"Well, if they're married maybe they'll be doing it more, you know?"Pewter considered human physical intimacy an irritation. Then she giggled. "Or less."

"Won't be any different, except he'll be more relaxed. He's worked so hard to win her back. He'll be happy. Harry really is his great passion."Mrs. Murphy watched as Herb blessed the rings.

"Is Fair her great passion?"Pewter cocked her head.

Neither Mrs. Murphy nor Tucker said anything. After long thought, Tucker finally responded, "That's a hard question to answer. "

"See, I don't think he is, even if she is marrying him,"Pewter blurted out. "Look at Miranda and Tracy. He's loony about her and she swoons every time she looks at him. I mean, BoomBoom and Alicia, besotted with each other. Cow eyes, you know. But I never see that in Harry."

"Too rational."Tucker understood Pewter's point.

"Oh, we've all seen Harry toss reason to the winds. Not often, granted, but she can lose her temper or let her curiosity get the better of her. Judgment flies right out the window."Mrs. Murphy, too, pondered pewter's observation. " She loves him. She wouldn't be standing there in that pretty dress if she didn't love him. She's," Mrs. Murphy paused, "diffident. Our dear mother gets more excited about ideas, about building a shed or planting redbud clover than she does about people. She likes people well enough and, like I said, she truly loves Fair, but her passions aren't about people. But he knows that. He knows just what he's getting."

"Guess so. They've known each other since before kindergarten."Tucker noticed Miranda wiping her eyes with a Belgian lace handkerchief. She also saw Paul de Silva holding Tazio Chappars's hand. He obviously was wildly in love with the young, talented architect. Alicia and BoomBoom didn't hold hands, but she saw Alicia give BoomBoom a handkerchief, as the Junoesque blonde was crying, too.

"Funny, BoomBoom crying, since everyone blamed her for the breakup of Harry's marriage even though they were separated,"Tucker remarked.

"No one can seduce a man who doesn't want to be seduced. Fair was wrong and he paid penance. I say we forget the whole thing. Harry finally has."Mrs. Murphy was glad that Harry and BoomBoom had reclaimed a friendship out of painful circumstances.

"Guess BoomBoom and Alicia can't get married, huh?"Pewter twitched her tail, massive boredom setting in along with a grumbling stomach.

"They can, sort of, but the state doesn't recognize it."Tucker shifted her weight on the bench, which made Mildred Potter, the organist, pat her on the head.

"Why do people get married? We don't. It's such an expense, a big public display, and it costs a bloody fortune. Can't they just pair off and be done with it? Think of all the chicken and salmon and tuna and catnip you could buy with that money."Pewter honed in on her passion.

"This wedding isn't that expensive, because it's a remarriage."Tucker was getting hungry herself.

"Ha. The reception is going to cost about six thousand dollars. Probably more once the bar bill comes in. That's a lot of tuna,"Pewter said.

"There's more than tuna at stake for humans. Marriage establishes paternity so a man isn't putting a nickel in another man's meter."Mrs. Murphy laughed. "'Course, now with DNA, paternity can be established in ways that don't please all men. You play, you pay. They can no longer claim the baby isn't theirs." She paused. "The whole marriage thing is so ingrained in society that they can't really do without it. Doesn't even matter if they have children. It's something you've got to do."