Ник Сайнт - Purrfect Advice. Purrfect Passion. A Purrfect Gnomeful

“Oh, I wanted to thank you, Max,” she said, dancing up to me with a definite swing in her step. “Before I met you I had a miserable life. I mean, Boomer was nice, but a dog isn’t the kind of company a mouse likes to keep. And now look at this.” She gestured generously in the direction of Hector and Helga and their family, two hundred strong. “This is what I call living. These are the kind of friends I’ve been hoping to find for a long time.”

“Not friends—family!” Helga cried. “Thanks, Max, for introducing us to such a wonderful new friend.”

I slapped a paw to my brow. “Oh, God,” I said.

“I think it’s wonderful what you’ve done here, Max,” said Elsa. “Create such an amazing home for us. Keep up the good work, and don’t hesitate to drop by any time.”

“Yeah, drop by any time, Max,” said Hector, and raised a thick piece of kibble—my kibble—in a salute.

And as I staggered back up the stairs, and into the family room, the blush that crept up my cheeks was one of both shame and indignation.

“No dice?” asked Odelia when she saw me emerge from the basement—or I should probably say the party zone.

“No dice,” I said. “They like to party, and they’re very grateful for introducing them to a new friend.”

Odelia squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. “I should have known.” She swiftly got up. “Well, there’s only one thing left to do.”

“What’s that?” I asked.

But she held up a hand. “I’ll take care of this from now on, Max. You don’t need to concern yourself anymore.”

And with these words, which I experienced like a verbal slap across the face, she disappeared up the stairs, then slammed the bedroom door.

Chase, still sitting on the couch, yelled, “What’s going on?”

Tough to be a non-cat speaker in a cat-speaking house, I guess.

Chapter 36

After running a quick errand in town, Odelia headed straight to the Riviera Country Club where the social event of the season was taking place. She’d opted not to bring her cats along this time, as she was still a little upset that they’d allowed her house to be turned into a pigsty—or a mouse-sty, to be more precise.

She understood why they were reluctant to deal with the mice forcefully and effectively. Max and the others were simply too kind. And she appreciated that kindness, absolutely she did. But right now she was a little upset, and didn’t want to see her cats.

So she arrived at the country club all by her lonesome, having decided to accept the invitation by Jacqueline Goossens for this first-ever joint meeting of the Gnomeos and the Maria Power Society.

The meeting took place in one of the larger conference rooms, and Odelia was surprised to find that there were so many participants in attendance. When she’d first heard of the respective clubs she hadn’t thought so many people were involved.

Even though Maria Power had retired a decade ago, clearly she was still popular.

Jacqueline greeted her at the entrance, and gave her a badge to pin to her blouse.

“Welcome, welcome,” said Jacqueline, beaming with delight. “This is a happy, happy day. Even though the circumstances could have been different—should have been different.” A mournful look passed across her face, but then she was brave again. “I hope you’ll join us. The Gnomeos is a happy club, and a celebration of all that Maria Power represents: talent, beauty, class, style, and of course an infectious positivity.”

“Thanks,” said Odelia. “I’ll think about it.”

She wasn’t exactly a fan of fan clubs, but didn’t want to insult the woman, who’d clearly put a lot of effort into this unique meeting.

She strolled through the room, glanced at the different stalls showcasing everything from DVDs to posters and pictures—signed or otherwise—and took a seat near the back. Soon a new board would be chosen, and new bylaws for the newly formed fan club.

It was a pity, she felt, that Dan couldn’t be there. He would have loved it, she was sure. And as she glanced around, she thought there were at least two hundred people there, many that she recognized, and smiled or waved to several of them in greeting.

And so for the next two hours she did what she did best: she listened and took notes, talked to some people, and shot a couple of pictures, and constructed a potential story in her mind. All the while, though, she couldn’t help but think that maybe this was all simply an exercise in futility: very soon now the Gazette would have to close its doors, and she would be a reporter no more.

Dan had once promised her that when he retired she’d be able to take over, but he’d never actually finalized anything, figuring he still had a long way to go before he decided to enjoy a well-earned retirement.

Instead, he was going to enjoy a well-earned stretch in prison, and she had no legal right, or financial means, to continue the paper. She was, after all, merely an employee.

Finally, the morning wound down, and she joined the line as people filed out of the conference room. There would be drinks served, and even a light lunch for those who’d signed up on the website, but Odelia frankly had had enough and wanted to leave.

She waved to Jacqueline, and then she was briskly walking to her car, and moments later was on her way back to Hampton Cove.

She was already back at the office when she realized she’d lost her phone.

I was feeling a little down in the dumps, and I think you probably don’t have to guess why. My human was upset with me, and my home wasn’t really my home anymore.

And so it was with a weary sigh and a very dark mood indeed that I’d taken refuge next door. At least in Marge and Tex’s house things were still the way they’d always been.

And I was sleeping peacefully on a chair when a sort of ruckus or brouhaha suddenly broke out.

The sound of loud screams rent the air, and I thought the noise was coming from next door. I hopped down from the chair and went in search of answers.

Dooley, who’d been sleeping upstairs, on Tex and Marge’s bed—he likes to sleep there of a morning, as the bed is nice and comfy and, most importantly, devoid of people taking up valuable space—came trotting down the stairs with a questioning look on his face.

I shrugged, since I had no idea what was going on either.

Brutus and Harriet emerged from the bushes when we passed through the pet flap. It’s one of their favorite places to take a nap.

“What’s going on?” asked Harriet, annoyed by this interruption of what was probably a most wonderful nap.

“No idea,” said Dooley. “But it seems to be coming from Odelia’s.”

So we all passed through the hole in the hedge, and the sight that met our eyes was one for the books indeed: a long stream of mice was passing through the garden, all of them either screaming or crying loudly, and at the head of this pack of mice were Hector and Helga. They were moving in the direction of Jackson Browne’s field, though I couldn’t understand why they’d undertake such an expedition all of a sudden.

Finally, at the end of the line of mice, I recognized the familiar figure of Elsa.

“What’s going on?” I asked, puzzled.

Elsa gave me a sad look. “I should have known it was too good to be true,” she said. “Your scary friend came into our basement just now, and threatened to eat us all alive. And to show us she meant business, she grabbed a handful of Helga’s babies and actually put them into her mouth! Of course Hector and Helga went berserk, but the cat was not to be deterred. She said that if we didn’t skedaddle on the double, she was going to eat us all with hide and hair! And she wasn’t kidding, that much was immediately clear to me.”