Michael Buckley - The Unusual Suspects

The teacher spun around and flashed the class a mascara-heavy evil eye. She turned back to the board and the class exploded again.

"Anyone who wants to join Ms. Grimm and Mr. Goodfellow tonight in detention, just keep it up," she shouted.

By the time the bell rang, the entire class was looking at Puck as if he were a rock star.

"Hilarious!" one kid snorted as the students emptied into the hall. Puck absorbed their praise like a greedy sponge and agreed with each one wholeheartedly that he was indeed a genius. But Sabrina had no interest in Puck's groupies. Her eyes were fixed on Wendell, who now hurried down the hallway, followed by a cloud of dust. She rushed after him.

"Hey, stink-pot," Puck said, breaking away from his followers. "You're not supposed to leave my sight."

Sabrina didn't reply. Instead, she darted through crowds and dodged open lockers as she trailed the chubby boy through the over-packed hallway. He raced down a flight of stairs and slipped through a door. By the time Sabrina caught up, he had already slammed the door behind him. The sign on it read BOILER ROOM.

"Where are you going?" Puck asked, grabbing Sabrina's wrist and pulling her back before she could open the door.

"I think that boy knows something about Grumpner's death," she replied, reaching for the door.

"You're not supposed to go anywhere without me."

"Well, you're here now, let's go."

"I don't feel like it."

"Puck, it's the boiler room. I bet it's dirty and gross in there," Sabrina said, trying to play to the boy's biggest weakness-filth. "I bet there's a greasy floor you could roll around on."

Puck's eyes lit up and he nodded vigorously. It was nice to see that she could manipulate him when it was important. She reached for the doorknob again, but before she could turn it, a muscular, grizzled-looking man stepped in her way.

"Where do you kids think you're going?" he asked. He was tall and strong, with arms as big as tree trunks and a chest as wide as the family car. It was obvious that he hadn't shaved in several days and could probably use some sleep. His blue coverall uniform had a patch on it that told everyone his name was Charlie and the smell coming off of him told everyone his uniform needed a trip to the laundromat. But it was the mop slung over his shoulder that told her this was the school janitor, and the boiler room was his domain.

"I was looking for my next class," Sabrina lied.

"In the boiler room?" Charlie laughed, spraying his corned-beef-and-cigarette breath all over her. "Ain't nothing in there but a bunch of mops and brooms."

"My mistake," she said. She turned around and together she and Puck headed down the hallway. She snuck a peek back, hoping Charlie had moved on, but he was still there, leaning against the door.

"I could lure him upstairs and push him out a window," Puck offered.

"No, we can't do that. We'll come back later. For now, just go to your next class," Sabrina replied. "Where is it?"

She snatched his schedule out of his hand and looked at it. "Puck, you're in all my classes!"

"The old lady and Canis negotiated it with the principal," the boy explained.

Sabrina knew what kind of negotiating Mr. Canis could do. Now Sabrina would have Puck practically riding on her back.

There were several kids walking behind them and one of them laughed loudly and said, "Hello, Smelly Stink-pot."

Sabrina spun around to see who had insulted her but the kids just walked away.

"Smelly Stink-pot? What does that mean?" Sabrina asked Puck.

"Who knows?" he said. "Kids can be cruel."

It would be hours before Bella stopped her in the hallway and

removed a sign that had been taped onto Sabrina's back. It read, PLEASED TO MEET YOU, I'M SMELLY STINK-POT!

The rest of the day, Sabrina and Puck kept a watchful eye out for Wendell, but it seemed as if the boy had disappeared. During a break between classes, Puck even rushed outside and summoned some pixies with his flute, to look for their chubby suspect. As Sabrina and Puck waited for word back, they went from one class to the next, and in each the Trickster King did his best to humiliate his housemate. Unlike a normal kid, Puck didn't bring pencils or a notebook to class; he brought what he called the essentials: a squirt gun, stink pellets, a shock buzzer, and his personal favorite-a whoopee cushion. Now, to Sabrina, fart jokes were so old-fashioned. She believed kids were pretty sophisticated in the twenty-first century. It would take more than an obnoxious noise to get a modern kid laughing.

Unfortunately, Sabrina was wrong. Puck let the whoopee cushion go in every class, making it seem as if Sabrina were having intestinal issues, and the kids just thought it got funnier and funnier. Eventually, he added a little acting to his routine, pretending to gag on Sabrina's imaginary fumes. When this proved to be wildly popular as well, it quickly evolved into an elaborate death scene, which ended with Puck shaking in convulsions on the floor. His performances, and Sabrina's threats of a serious beating, helped the two rack up an impressive five detentions apiece by midday. At the rate they were going, Sabrina suspected they would be in detention until they were twenty-five.

So, as they headed for gym class, she smiled, knowing revenge was within her grasp. Puck was about to get what he had coming to him.

"OK class," Ms. Spangler said as she tossed a ball back and forth between her hands. "We've got a new student today. His name is Robin and he says he's never actually played dodgeball."

Even from across the room, Sabrina could see Toby's and Natalie's eyes light up with excitement. Bella, who was standing nearby, leaned over to her. "Your friend is in serious trouble."

Puck waved to everyone, unaware that attention was the last thing he wanted in this class. Once everyone got an eyeful of him, Ms. Spangler divided the class into two teams. Puck and Sabrina found themselves standing next to each other.

"How do you play this game?" he asked.

"People throw balls at you," she said. "If they hit you, then you're out."

"Let me get this straight. The object of this game is to hit someone with a ball. Can you hit them in the head?"

Sabrina nodded, eyeing the opposing team to avoid a sneak attack.

"And you can hit them as hard as you want?"

"That's actually encouraged. But be careful-if they catch it you're out."

"Does anyone ever catch the ball?"

"Rarely."

"How diabolical!" Puck cried. "It's so twisted, it's brilliant! Are you any good at this 'dodgeball'?"

"I used to be," Sabrina grumbled, staring at the two children directly across from her on the other team, Toby and the big goon Natalie, who were staring back at her with evil grins on their faces. They were like vultures, waiting to take a bite of her.

Ms. Spangler blew her whistle and the insanity began.

A ball whizzed past Sabrina's head and smacked into Bella. Sabrina was surprised. The day before, the girl had been so agile, but now it seemed like Bella had actually stepped into the ball, as if she wanted to be knocked out of the game.

The blond girl shrugged her shoulders. "Good luck," she said to Sabrina, as she made her way over to the sidelines. Sabrina looked up to see Toby and Natalie. Both were grinning. Toby winged his ball straight at her head and just before it smashed her in the nose, Puck reached over and caught it.

"Toby's out!" Ms. Spangler shouted. Dejected, the boy scowled and sulked over to the sidelines.

"Now what do I do with it?" Puck asked.

"Throw it at somebody," Sabrina said impatiently.

Puck wound up, ready to smack Sabrina right in the face with the ball.

"Not me, you idiot!" she cried, pointing at the opposite team. "Them!"