Philip Kerr - Berlin Noir

The first had been rather more successful for me than the second. An impressive hallway with more marble than the Pergamon Altar led up to the second floor where I had a suite of rooms with ceilings that were as high as trams. German architects and builders were never known for their penny-pinching.

My feet aching like young love, I ran myself a hot bath.

I lay there for a long time, staring up at the stained-glass window which was suspended at right angles to the ceiling, and which served, quite redundantly, to offer some cosmetic division of the bathroom’s higher regions. I had never ceased to puzzle as to what possible reason had prompted its construction.

Outside the bathroom window a nightingale sat in the yard’s solitary but lofty tree. I felt that I had a lot more confidence in his simple song than the one that Hitler was singing.

I reflected that it was the kind of simplistic comparison my beloved pipe-smoking partner might have relished.

Tuesday, 6 September

In the darkness the doorbell rang. Drunk with sleep I reached across to the alarm clock and picked it off the bedside table. It said 4.30 in the morning with still nearly an hour to go before I was supposed to wake up. The doorbell rang again, only this time it seemed more insistent. I switched on a light and went out into the hall.

‘Who is it?’ I said, knowing well enough that generally it’s only the Gestapo who take a pleasure in disturbing people’s sleep.

‘Haile Selassie,’ said a voice. ‘Who the fuck do you think it is? Come on, Gunther, open up, we haven’t got all night.’

Yes, it was the Gestapo all right. There was no mistaking their finishing-school manners.

I opened the door and allowed a couple of beer barrels wearing hats and coats to barge past me.

‘Get dressed,’ said one. ‘You’ve got an appointment.’

‘Shit, I am going to have to have a word with that secretary of mine,’ I yawned. ‘I forgot all about it.’

‘Funny man,’ said the other.

‘What, is this Heydrich’s idea of a friendly invitation?’

‘Save your mouth to suck on your cigarette, will you? Now climb into your suit or we’ll take you down in your fucking pyjamas.’

I dressed carefully, choosing my cheapest German Forest suit and an old pair of shoes. I stuffed my pockets with cigarettes. I even took along a copy of the Berlin Illustrated News . When Heydrich invites you for breakfast it’s always best to be prepared for an uncomfortable and possibly indefinite visit.

Immediately south of Alexanderplatz, on Dircksenstrasse, the Imperial Police Praesidium and the Central Criminal Courts faced each other in an uneasy confrontation: legal administration versus justice. It was like two heavyweights standing toe to toe at the start of a fight, each trying to stare the other down.

Of the two, the Alex, also sometimes known as ‘Grey Misery’, was the more brutal looking, having a Gothic-fortress design with a dome-shaped tower at each corner, and two smaller towers atop the front and rear facades. Occupying some 16,000 square metres it was an object lesson in strength if not in architectural merit.

The slightly smaller building that housed the central Berlin courts also had the more pleasing aspect. Its neo-Baroque sandstone facade possessed something rather more subtle and intelligent than its opponent.

There was no telling which one of these two giants was likely to emerge the winner; but when both fighters have been paid to take a fall it makes no sense to stick around and watch the end of the contest.

Dawn was breaking as the car drew into Alex’s central courtyard. It was still too early for me to have asked myself why Heydrich should have had me brought here, instead of Sipo, the Security Service headquarters in the Wilhelmstrasse, where Heydrich had his own office.

My two male escorts ushered me to an interview room and left me alone. There was a good deal of shouting going on in the room next door and that gave me something to think about. That bastard Heydrich. Never quite did it the way you expected. I took out a cigarette and lit it nervously. With the cigarette burning in a corner of my sour-tasting mouth I stood up and went over to the grimy window. All I could see were other windows like my own, and on the rooftop the aerial of the police radio station. I ground the cigarette into the Mexico Mixture coffee-tin that served as an ashtray and sat down at the table again.

I was supposed to get nervous. I was meant to feel their power. That way Heydrich would find me all the more inclined to agree with him when eventually he decided to show up. Probably he was still fast asleep in his bed.

If that was how I was supposed to feel I decided to do it differently. So instead of breakfasting on my fingernails and wearing out my cheap shoes pacing round the room, I tried a little self-relaxation, or whatever it was that Dr Meyer had called it. Eyes closed, breathing deeply through my nose, my mind concentrated on a simple shape, I managed to remain calm. So calm I didn’t even hear the door. After a while I opened my eyes and stared into the face of the bull who had come in. He nodded slowly.

‘Well, you’re a cool one,’ he said, picking up my magazine.

‘Aren’t I just?’ I looked at my watch. Half an hour had gone by. ‘You took your time.’

‘Did I? I’m sorry. Glad you weren’t bored though. I can see you expected to be here a while.’

‘Doesn’t everyone?’ I shrugged, watching a boil the size of a wheel-nut rub at the edge of his greasy collar.

When he spoke his voice came from deep within him, his scarred chin dipping down to his broad chest like a cabaret tenor.

‘Oh yes,’ he said. ‘You’re a private detective, aren’t you? A professional smart-ass. Do you mind me asking, what kind of a living do you people make?’

‘What’s the matter, the bribes not coming in regular enough for you?’ He forced himself to smile through that one. ‘I do all right.’

‘Don’t you find that it gets lonely? I mean, you’re a bull down here, you’ve got friends.’

‘Don’t make me laugh. I’ve got a partner, so I get all the friendly shoulder to cry on I need, right?’

‘Oh yes. Your partner. That would be Bruno Stahlecker, wouldn’t it?’

‘That’s right. I could give you his address if you like, but I think he’s married.’

‘All right, Gunther. You’ve proved you’re not scared. No need to make a performance out of it. You were picked up at 4.30. It’s now seven -’

‘Ask a policeman if you want the right time.’

‘- but you still haven’t asked anyone why you’re here.’

‘I thought that’s what we were talking about.’

‘Were we? Assume I’m ignorant. That shouldn’t be too difficult for a smart-ass like you. What did we say?’

‘Oh shit, look, this is your sideshow, not mine, so don’t expect me to bring up the curtain and work the fucking lights. You go right ahead with your act and I’ll just try to laugh and clap in the right places.’

‘Very well,’ he said, his voice hardening. ‘So where were you last night?’

‘At home.’

‘Got an alibi?’

‘Yeah. My teddy bear. I was in bed, asleep.’

‘And before that?’

‘I was seeing a client.’

‘Mind telling me who?’

‘Look, I don’t like this. What are we trawling for? Tell me now, or I don’t say another lousy word.’

‘We’ve got your partner downstairs.’

‘What’s he supposed to have done?’

‘What he’s done is get himself killed.’

I shook my head. ‘Killed?’

‘Murdered, to be rather more precise. That’s what we usually call it in these sort of circumstances.’