Camilla Läckberg - The Drowning

‘Okay now. The girls were worried that I wouldn’t be able to take care of you. What do you say, Leo? Don’t you think we’ve earned the right to take a little snooze?’

Bertil picked up the now well-taped baby and held him in his arms as he settled himself in a comfortable position on the sofa. Leo rooted around a bit before burrowing his face in the hollow of the police chief’s neck.

When the women in their lives came home half an hour later, they were both sound asleep.

‘Is Christian at home? Erica would have liked nothing better than to turn and run when Sanna opened the door. But Patrik was right. She had no choice.

‘Yes, but he’s up in the attic. I’ll call him.’ Sanna turned towards the stairs. ‘Christian! You have a visitor!’ she shouted and then looked again at Erica. ‘Come on in. He’ll be down in a minute.’

‘Thanks.’ Erica felt awkward standing there in the front hall next to Sanna, but soon they heard footsteps on the stairs. When Christian came into view, she noticed how worn out he looked, and the guilt she was feeling grew even worse.

‘Hi,’ he said, looking a bit puzzled to see her so soon, but he came to give her a hug.

‘There’s something I need to talk to you about,’ said Erica, feeling again an urge to turn on her heel and dash out the door.

‘Really? Well, come on in,’ said Christian, motioning towards the living room. She took off her coat and shoes and followed after him.

‘Would you like something to drink?’

‘No, thanks.’ She shook her head. All she wanted was to get this whole thing over with.

‘How did the book-signings go?’ she asked, sitting down at one end of the living-room sofa. She sank deep into the cushions.

‘Fine,’ said Christian in a tone of voice that did not invite further questions. ‘Did you see the newspaper yesterday?’ he asked instead. His face was a pallid grey in the winter light filtering through the window.

‘Yes, and that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.’ Erica paused to muster her courage to go on. One of the twins gave her a hard kick in the ribs, and she gasped.

‘Are the babies kicking?’

‘You can say that again.’ She took a deep breath and went on. ‘It’s my fault that the story got leaked to the press.’

‘What do you mean?’ Christian sat up straighter.

‘I wasn’t the one who tipped them off,’ she hurried to explain. ‘But I was stupid enough to mention it to the wrong person.’ She didn’t dare meet Christian’s eyes. Instead, she looked down at her hands.

‘You mean Gaby?’ said Christian wearily. ‘But didn’t you realize that she would -’

Erica interrupted him. ‘Patrik said the exact same thing. And you’re both right. I should have known not to trust her, that she would view it as an opportunity to get some publicity. I feel like a real fool. I shouldn’t have been so naive.’

‘Well, there’s not much to be done about it now,’ said Christian.

His resigned attitude made Erica feel even worse. She almost wished that he would yell at her. That would have been preferable to looking at the tired and disappointed expression on his face.

‘I’m sorry, Christian. I’m so sorry about all this.’

‘Let’s just hope that she was right, in any case.’

‘Who?’

‘Gaby. Then at least I’ll sell more books as a result.’

‘I don’t understand how anyone can be so cynical. To throw you to the wolves like that just because it might be good for business.’

‘She didn’t get to be as successful as she is today by trying to be everybody’s friend.’

‘But still. It can’t be worth it.’ Erica was filled with remorse about what she’d done, even though she’d acted in good faith. For the life of her, she couldn’t understand how anyone with a conscience could behave the way Gaby had done. And all for the sake of making a profit.

‘I’m sure it will blow over,’ said Christian, but he didn’t sound convinced.

‘Were you hounded by reporters today?’ Erica shifted her position, trying to get more comfortable. No matter how she sat, it felt like one or another of her internal organs was getting pinched.

‘After the first phone call yesterday, I switched off my mobile. I’m not planning to give them any more fuel for the fire.’

‘So what about…’ Erica hesitated. ‘Have you received any more threats? I know that you have no reason to trust me after all this, but believe me when I say that I’ve learned my lesson.’

Christian seemed to shut down. He looked out of the window, as if deciding what to say. When he did answer, his voice sounded weak and exhausted.

‘I don’t want to dwell on that. It’s been blown way out of proportion.’

There was a crash upstairs, and a child started crying, loud and shrill. Christian made no move to get up, but Erica heard Sanna dashing upstairs.

‘Do the children get along?’ Erica asked, motioning towards the room overhead.

‘Not really. My older son doesn’t like competition. I suppose that’s a good way to describe the problem.’ Christian smiled.

‘Most people have a tendency to focus a little too much on the first child right after the birth,’ replied Erica.

‘You’re probably right,’ said Christian, his smile disappearing. He had a strange look on his face, and Erica couldn’t really decipher what it might mean. Upstairs, both boys were now crying, joined by Sanna’s angry scolding.

‘You need to talk to the police,’ said Erica. ‘I’m sure you realize that I mentioned the matter to Patrik, and I don’t regret doing so. He thinks you should definitely take this whole thing seriously, and the first step is to report it to the police. You could start by just going to see him – unofficially, if you like.’ She could hear that she sounded like she was pleading with him, but the letters had really upset her, and she had the feeling that Christian felt the same way.

‘I don’t want to talk about this any more,’ he said, getting up. ‘I know you didn’t mean for things to turn out the way they did after you talked to Gaby. But you need to respect the fact that I don’t want to make a big deal out of this.’

The screams overhead had now gone up several decibels, and Christian headed for the stairs.

‘You’ll have to excuse me, but I need to go and help Sanna before the boys kill each other. You can find your way out, can’t you?’ Then he rushed off without saying goodbye, and Erica had the distinct impression that he was glad to escape.

Weren’t they ever going back home? The caravan seemed to get smaller with every day that passed, and he’d already explored every corner of the camping area. Maybe once they were home they’d start to like him again. Here it felt as if he didn’t exist at all.

Father sat around solving crossword puzzles, and Mother was ill. At least, that was the explanation he’d received when he tried to go in and see her. She spent the days inside the caravan’s cramped sleeping area. And she hadn’t gone swimming with him again. Even though he couldn’t forget the terror or the feeling of something wriggling past his feet, he would have preferred that to being constantly banished from the caravan.

‘Mother is ill. Go out and play.’

So he would take off, filling the hours of the day on his own. At first the other children at the campground tried to play with him, but he wasn’t interested. If he wasn’t allowed to be with his mother, then he didn’t want to be with anybody.

When she didn’t get better, he started to worry more and more. Sometimes he’d hear her throwing up. And she looked so pale. What if it was something serious? What if she too was going to die and leave him behind? Just like his mamma did.