Janet Evanovich - Foul Play

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When Amy Klasse loses her TV job to a dancing chicken, handsome veterinarian Jake Elliott rescues her with an offer to be his receptionist. Jake just can't resist a damsel in distress, and Amy certainly doesn't mind Jake's charming sincerity.
Then suddenly the job-stealing chicken disappears and Amy is suspected of foul play. Amy and Jake search for clues to prove her innocence. But will Jake be able to prove to Amy that love, too, is a mystery worth solving?

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“You live here?” Jake thought the house looked like it was being eaten alive by its own greenery. The five-foot-high, six-foot-wide spreading juniper that had spread across her front stoop reminded him of Jaws.

“It’s a little overgrown.”

Jake bit his lip to keep from laughing. A little overgrown? She could lose a rhinoceros in that lawn.

Amy jumped from the Jeep and balanced a grocery bag on her hip. “I just moved into this house last month. I’ve been so busy fixing the inside that I just haven’t gotten around to the yard.”

She paused at the front door and skeptically surveyed her property. “To tell you the truth, I’m not sure where to begin. I’ve never had a yard before. And this bush…”

“Jaws?”

Amy giggled. “Yeah. Sometimes I worry it’s going to reach out and grab me.”

“Couldn’t blame it.”

Amy felt the keys slide through her fingers and land on the cement porch. She’d never heard anyone’s voice change so quickly from casual joking to husky intimacy. His comment had been nothing more than a low murmur, deep and dusky, like fine smoky whiskey… or rustling sheets. She realized he was very close. His dark eyes caressed her lips, her throat… Holy Toledo, he was going to kiss her. Her heart frantically pounded in her chest. She took a small step backward-and fell off the small stoop into a blooming forsythia.

Jake couldn’t believe his eyes. For a brief moment Amy seemed gobbled up by the yellow bush. Two slim legs frantically waved amidst the leaves and flowers and there was a flash of pink panties. He’d taken a few women by surprise, but he’d never ever seen the unabashed terror that Amy had displayed before leaping into the forsythia. Lord, he was a real lady killer. One smoldering look and he had her running for the hills.

He gently lifted her out of the bush and set her on her feet. Bits of yellow flower and bright green leaves stuck in her hair. The white lace blouse had a small tear in the left sleeve.

Amy fluffed out her skirt as if she were the queen of England. “I got a little nervous,” she explained.

“I noticed.”

“I… um, I thought you were going to kiss me. I always get nervous about the first kiss.”

“Only the first kiss?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Good. Then let’s get the damn thing over with.” He pulled her to him and touched his lips to hers. The kiss deepened, and as they melted together, the world seemed to stand still. Jake released her and took a shaky breath. “Maybe we’d better go inside now.”

Amy blinked at him. She’d known him for less than fifteen minutes, and here he was, kissing her senseless. She really should be mad at him, she thought, but the truth was, she hadn’t done anything to discourage the kiss. In fact, she’d been looking forward to it, in a terrified, curious sort of way. She just hadn’t expected the kiss to be so… magical.

“Earth to Amy.”

“Boy, that was some kiss.”

“Did you like it?”

“Yes. You’re a terrific kisser.” She bent to scoop up the groceries that had spilled and to hide her cheeks till the blush cooled down. Had she really just said that? “This sure has been a strange day.”

She kicked the door open and ushered Jake into the cool interior. “Um, about the job offer. We certainly wouldn’t want to go around kissing each other if we were working together. It would be… awkward.”

Jake thought it would be wonderful. He couldn’t imagine more ideal working conditions.

He set the grocery bags on the kitchen counter and looked around. It was nice. Light and airy. Beige wall-to-wall carpet in the living room-dining room. Creamy-colored sheers on the front windows. A big comfy-looking couch in sort of a rosy color. The walls were freshly painted eggshell white. The house had an air of cleanliness and order. It was a peaceful haven-not what he would have expected of Lulu the Clown. And it was very different from his own cramped, messy apartment. He slouched against the counter.

“You’ve decided to take the receptionist job?”

“It would only be temporary.”

“Of course.”

“And no kisses.”

“Of course.”

Amy didn’t know whether she should trust his answers or not. He might have said “of course” but his eyes were sending a message all their own. It didn’t matter. She needed the job, and she could handle Jacob Elliott. She would be friendly but professional, pleasant but firm. Everything would be fine.

Amy drained her wineglass and dumped the package of ground meat into a large Pyrex bowl. She added an egg, a small amount of grated cheese, bread crumbs, and freshly chopped parsley. She narrowed her eyes, and her upper lip curled slightly. “Now we have to be brave. We have to mush this stuff together. Are you ready?”

Jake raised an eyebrow. “What did you have in mind?”

“We gotta wump it a good one.” She wrinkled her nose and plunged her fist into the mixture. “Wump.” She stared glassy-eyed at her target. “Needs something. Ketchup.”

Jake added a dollop of ketchup and returned to his stool in the middle of the kitchen. She was snockered-on one glass of wine. If he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes he wouldn’t have believed it.

The raw egg and ketchup squished between Amy’s fingers. “Yuck! Lucky for you I have a strong stomach. Not everyone can mix meatballs with their bare hands,” she said, plopping a lump of meatball goo in her hand. She attempted to roll it into a ball, but it stuck to her fingers and went flaccid in her palm. She looked at it in dismay and chewed on her lip. “Can’t understand what’s the matter. I’m always such a good meat-baller.”

“Maybe we should just pop a couple of those TV dinners into the oven.”

Amy held her hand up. “No need. I’ll have everything under control in just a minute. More bread crumbs!” she ordered.

“Um… we’re out of bread crumbs.”

Amy paused. “Tell you the truth, I’m not hungry, anyway.” She poured out more wine and leaned against the counter. Jake had four eyes. Funny she hadn’t noticed that before. And he was fuzzy. She should bring that to his attention. “Jacob, you’re fuzzy… and your mouth is crooked.”

“How about we put some water on for coffee, hmm?”

“Never drink coffee. Makes me nervous.” Amy placed her wineglass on the toaster. “Look, I can make my wineglass wobble on the toaster, can you do that?”

She took an unsteady step toward him and walked her fingers up the front of his shirt. “Know what? I’m drunk as a skunk. Good thing you’re such a nice person. There are men who would take advantage of a situation like this.”

Jake watched her fingers move from his collar to his neck. They slid along the outer rim of his ear and tangled in his hair. He felt her breasts nudge against the wall of his chest and he wasn’t sure if he deserved her trusting compliment.

“That’s me… all-around nice person.” What was she doing now? Lord, she was nibbling at the base of his throat. And her hands… where were her hands going? “Listen, Amy, even nice people lose control. I mean, they have moments when-”

“Not me. Never lose control. Cool as a cucumber.”

“Easy for you to say, but it’s hard for me to be cool when you’ve got your hands on my backside.”

Amy looked down. Sure enough, her hands had found their way into his back pockets. She must be dreaming because she’d never attacked-never even thought of attacking-a man in her life. “Oh. Does that bother you?”

“Yes!”

“Me too. Is it warm in here?”

“I thought you were cool. Never lost control.”

“Never have before.” Her eyes opened wide. “This could be a moment-ee-ous occasion. You know why, Jake? Because you make me tingle. That’s a first. Are you going to be the first? Wanna know where I tingle?”

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