Iris Johansen: Chasing the Night

“Hush.” Catherine’s arms closed around her. “You don’t have to describe it. Just tell me one thing. He hurt you?”

“He raped me,” Kelly said baldly. “Why don’t you say it? Do you think I’m a kid? He kept telling Daddy he’d do it if they didn’t let his brother go.”

She was a kid, Catherine thought, but she’d been jerked out of any semblance of childhood. Smother the anger. It wasn’t going to help Kelly. But damn she was glad she’d taken Munoz out. She wished she had him here so that she could do it again. “No, I don’t think you’re a kid.”

“Daddy shouldn’t have fought him.” Her voice was almost inaudible against Catherine’s shoulder. “It didn’t matter if he-”

“It matters. I know what you’re saying, and I would probably think the same as you. He didn’t take anything from you that was worth losing your father.” Catherine’s arms tightened around her. “Don’t talk about it now. You’ll have to do that later, but not now, when the wound is raw.”

“Daddy shouldn’t have tried to stop him.” Her hands were clutching Catherine. “It didn’t do any good, and maybe Munoz wouldn’t have killed him. He hurt me, but it wasn’t worth that.”

“No, it wasn’t worth that.” Her hand brushed Kelly’s hair back from her face. “But your father wouldn’t have understood. Rape is something that most people have a problem with.”

“But not you?”

“No, it happened to me, too.” She was silent a moment. “Only I was a little younger than you, and I didn’t have a father to try to protect me. I guess that could have been a good thing. I was the only one hurt.” She added softly, “Later, when you get past the sorrow, you’ll be angry, and you’ll feel dirty. That will go away, too. But what you must never feel is shame. What happened to you is no more reason for shame than this wound of mine you just bandaged. We may have scars, but we’ll heal. It will only make us stronger.”

“I don’t feel…strong.”

“You will. Just don’t let anyone pity you because of what Munoz did to you. They won’t understand that you don’t need it, and you might begin to think that they’re right.” Unconventional advice to a wounded child, but it was all she could offer. It came from the depths of her heart and personal experience. “You can’t expect them to understand since they didn’t go through it.”

“But you understand.” Kelly nestled closer. “If you let me stay with you, I wouldn’t need anyone else…”

Need? Dependence. Even as her arm tightened protectively around the girl, she felt a rush of dismay. Lord, she couldn’t afford to be responsible for anyone. Not now. That wasn’t what she had bargained for when she had taken on this job. The minute she dropped Kelly off in Bogotá, she had to pressure Venable and get the Rakovac file.

“You don’t want me either,” Kelly said in a low voice. “Why should you? I’ll just get in your way.”

That was exactly what Catherine feared. “You might,” she said with blunt honesty. “And I might get in yours. You can’t judge me from the little time we’ve had together. You have a mother, you probably have other relations. You’d be better off with them.”

“I understand,” Kelly said dully. “Whatever you say.”

Dammit. “We’ll have to see what happens. As soon as we land in Bogotá, I’ll turn you over to Agent Venable. He’s my superior, and he’ll have to make a decision about what’s best for you.”

“You’re best for me.” Kelly pushed her away and sat up. “Even if you don’t want me. I wouldn’t have to pretend that I-” She leaned back against the wall of the helicopter and closed her eyes. “I’d try not to get in your way.”

“Kelly, I have something to do.” She paused. “I have something I have to do.”

“I could help you.”

Catherine shook her head. “No.”

“I could, you know,” she said. “You said I was strong. I have to be strong, or I’ll break apart. I won’t let Munoz do that to me. I’ll have to think about it…”

Bogotá, Colombia

“You have my phone number.” Catherine leaned into the limousine where Kelly was sitting with the social worker. “I told you what to expect at the hospital. Just do what they tell you, and the exam will be over soon. Remember that everything bad eventually passes. Go blank, and it’s over.”

Kelly nodded without speaking.

“Call me if you need someone to talk to.”

“I will.” Kelly leaned back in the seat and gave her a pale smile. “And I’ll do what you said. I’ll let them pity me about losing Daddy, but never about Munoz.”

“Good.” She stepped back and slammed the door.

“Poor kid.” Venable watched the limousine with the social worker and Kelly Winters drive slowly from the private airport. “She looks shell-shocked.”

“Considering what she’s gone through, I think she looks damn good,” Catherine said. “She’s got guts. She’ll be okay if they let her heal and come to terms with what happened.” Kelly had turned and was looking back at her. Catherine nodded and waved her hand. The girl didn’t smile, didn’t wave. “Look, she doesn’t get along with her mother. Make sure those social worker Goody Two-shoeses don’t toss her back to her without supervision.”

“I can see why her mother might have difficulty. Lisa Winters is a Denver socialite who likes everything smooth and commonplace. Kelly is too brilliant to be commonplace and too inquisitive not to be disturbing.”

“You seem very familiar with Kelly.”

“You might say I had an occasion to study her once. I found her exceedingly…promising.”

“Promising? Interesting word. I believe you once found me promising. But she’s just a kid, Venable. And, I don’t give a damn if her mother doesn’t like having a smart daughter. She should step up to the plate. Kelly needs help.”

“You obviously gave it to her.” Venable smiled faintly. “And I’ll follow through.”

“You’d better. Or I’ll come looking for you.” She turned to face him. “Payoff time. You owe me, Venable.”

“You’ll have the Rakovac file on your e-mail by day after tomorrow.”

“Good.” She paused. “You’re not mentioning Eve Duncan. I regard that as a serious omission.”

“You rescued the girl, not Winters himself. I figure that’s only fifty percent of the deal. I only owe you for Kelly Winters.” He tilted his head, considering. “And you killed Munoz. I’m not sure of the ramifications of that. We used him occasionally, and we’ll have to find another information source.”

“You’re quibbling. You know anyone who went into that camp would have had to deal with Munoz. You couldn’t have used him again with all this media attention focused on him. You said you were having trouble getting me Eve Duncan.”

“Maybe.” He turned and headed for his car parked by the hangar. “At any rate, I’m washing my hands of the problem. Deal with Eve Duncan yourself. I’ve thought it over and decided that I don’t have to protect Eve from you. You’re different as night and day, but she’s strong enough to handle you.” He glanced over his shoulder. “I only hope that you don’t get her killed.”

Atlanta, Georgia

Lake Cottage

Two days later

“Joe?” Eve opened her eyes to see Joe coming out of the bathroom, shrugging into his jacket. It was still dark, she realized drowsily. Where was he…

“Shh.” Joe’s lips brushed Eve’s forehead. “Go back to sleep. I got a call from the precinct. Something nasty on the south side.”

“What kind of-”

“I don’t know. No details. Go back to sleep,” he repeated. “You need it. It’s only five. You didn’t stop working on Cindy until two this morning.” He gave her another kiss and headed for the door. “I’ll call you.”