Iris Johansen - Quinn

She stared straight ahead as he drove the twenty minutes to her home, but he doubted if she was seeing anything. Her breathing was shallow and quick.

He brought the car to a screeching halt in front of the house. The next moment, he was around the car and half lifting her out of the seat. “Come on. Only a little farther.”

She was looking at the empty place where the hanging basket had been. “He’s a beast,” she whispered. “Why did God let him come into the world?”

“Maybe he didn’t. I think he’s a creation of Satan.” He had the door open, and he pushed her over the threshold. “And Satan will take him back soon.”

“Not yet. Not until he tells me where to find my Bonnie.” She stood straight, frozen, looking straight ahead. “He did it, Joe. He really killed her. I was afraid it was true, but I didn’t really believe it. I didn’t see how anyone could kill my Bonnie. But he did it. He looked into my eyes, and he smiled. And then he started to tell me what he did to her.” Her voice was uneven. “I sat there and I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t do it. I wanted to cover my ears, but I was frozen in that chair. So I listened and listened and I-”

“Hush.” He couldn’t stand any more. It was tearing him apart. “Just give me a minute.” He lifted her in his arms and carried her across the room and up the stairs to her bedroom. He placed her on her bed, then followed her down, holding her in his arms. Her skin was cold where he touched her. “I didn’t want you to go to see him. God, I didn’t want you to go.”

“I know. You wouldn’t help me. I had to do it myself.”

“You should have told me. I would have tried to make it easier for you. I’d never want you to be alone.”

“I am alone. I’ll always be alone now. He killed her.”

He could feel the moisture sting his eyes. “He’d lie anyway, Eve. Are you sure?”

“He gave me details. Details down to the flavor of the ice cream she got from that booth in the park. It was her favorite flavor. Details about how soft and curly her hair was to the touch…” Her voice broke. “It was so soft, Joe. I remember her sitting on my lap the night before he took her. I was singing a song to her, and her head was pressed against my cheek…”

He could feel the pain in every word, it reverberated within him. He desperately wanted to take it away, but there was no way to do it. All he could do was give her his warmth. His arms tightened around her. “Do you want to talk about her?”

“Not now. All I can think about is Fraser and what he said about her. It hurts, Joe. I can’t tell you how it hurts. It keeps twisting inside me. I want it to go away.”

He couldn’t even tell her the pain would get less. The loss of a child was eternal. “I’ll be here to share it with you. Always.”

“No… not fair. No one should… Go away, Joe. Not fair.”

“It’s fair, if I say it’s fair.” He was stroking her hair. “What’s a friend for?” And what’s a lover, a guardian, a warrior to protect you, for? I have to be all things to you, Eve. Something crazy happened, and my whole world changed when you came into my life. “So be quiet and just let me hold you.”

“I want it to go away. I don’t think I can stand…”

That was one of the things he’d feared when he’d known what Eve was going to have to face. “You can stand anything. You’re tough.” His hand was gentle on her hair. “Give it time. The state’s going to kill that bastard, then some of the-”

“They can’t kill him. I have to know where he buried Bonnie. I can’t let them do it.”

“He didn’t tell you?”

“He said to come back, and he might tell me.”

“And put you through this torture again? No way.”

“I can take it. I have to take it.”

“I said you were tough. I didn’t say you were invincible.”

“I’ll find a way to block it out. I have to make him tell me.”

“Eve…”

“You’ve never had a child, Joe. You don’t know how important it is for me to bring her home. I can’t leave her out there alone. Every night of her life, I tucked her into her bed, sang to her and kissed her good night. She was safe, she was home, she knew she was surrounded by love. Now I have to tuck her in one final time. I have to surround her with my love. I think wherever she is that she’ll know it.” Her voice was hoarse. “I have to… bring her home.”

Oh, God in heaven. What could he say? What could he do?

“We don’t have a weapon to use against Fraser, Eve. He knows he’s going to be convicted of one of those killings. It’s just a choice which case the state is going to choose to prosecute. But the bastard has a weapon he can use to hurt you, and he’ll do it.”

“I have to try. It’s not only Bonnie. It’s all those other lost children, too. If I go there often enough, he may get cocky and let something slip. I have to try.”

He couldn’t make the attempt to talk her out of it. Not right now.

She lay there silent for a long time. “Your cheek is damp, Joe. I feel it.” She reached up and touched his lashes. “Are you crying for my Bonnie?”

“Yes, and for you.” He cleared his throat. “It wouldn’t hurt you to do a little crying yourself. It might help.”

“I can’t cry. I can feel all the tears in a tight little ball deep inside me, but they won’t come out. Maybe later… After I’ve brought Bonnie home.”

“Then I’ll cry for you.”

“Will you do that?” She cuddled closer to him, her cheek in the hollow of his shoulder. “You’re so good to me. Maybe Bonnie will know that, too. She was so special, so full of love. I wish she’d known you, Joe…”

For an instant, he could almost see how different their lives would have been if tragedy had not entered it. An Eve vital and smiling, the child, Bonnie, who would love Joe as well as her mother. The image was bittersweet, but he would not push it away. That was neither their life nor their future, but he would work with what he had. He’d drain every bit of joy and happiness around them that he could to make it a good life, create a shelter and a haven for them.

His lips gently brushed her forehead. “I wish I’d known your Bonnie, too, Eve.”

Diagnostic Classification Facility

Jackson, Georgia

January 27

11:55 P.M.

IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN.

Oh, God, don’t let it happen.

“Lost. She’ll be lost. They’ll all be lost,” Eve said.

“Come away, Eve. You don’t want to be here.” Joe tried to hold the huge black umbrella over her. “There’s nothing you can do. He’s had two stays of execution already. The governor’s not going to do it again. There was too much public outcry the last time.”

“He’s got to do it.” Her face was white and strained, her expression frantic. “I want to talk to the warden.”

Joe shook his head. “He won’t see you.”

“He saw me before. He called the governor. I’ve got to see him. He understood about-”

“Let me take you to your car. It’s freezing out here, and you’re getting soaked.”

She shook her head, her gaze fixed desperately on the prison gate. “You talk to him. You’re with the FBI. Maybe he’ll listen to you.”

“It’s too late, Eve.” He once more tried to draw her under the umbrella, but she stepped away from him. “You shouldn’t have come.”

“ You came.” She gestured to the horde of newspaper and media people gathered at the gate. “ They came. Who has a better right to be here than me.” Sobs were choking her, but there were no tears. She hadn’t shed one tear all the time that Fraser had gone through his trials and appeals. Joe had prayed that she would cry and gain at least a little release from the terrible tension. But she had never broken down through all the agony. “I have to stop it. I have to make them see that they can’t-”