Tarquin Hall - The Case of the Man Who Died Laughing

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Murder is no laughing matter.
Yet a prominent Indian scientist dies in a fit of giggles when a Hindu goddess appears from a mist and plunges a sword into his chest.
The only one laughing now is the main suspect, a powerful guru named Maharaj Swami, who seems to have done away with his most vocal critic.
Vish Puri, India’s Most Private Investigator, master of disguise and lover of all things fried and spicy, doesn’t believe the murder is a supernatural occurrence, and proving who really killed Dr. Suresh Jha will require all the detective’s earthly faculties. To get at the truth, he and his team of undercover operatives – Facecream, Tubelight, and Flush – travel from the slum where India’s hereditary magicians must be persuaded to reveal their secrets to the holy city of Haridwar on the Ganges.
How did the murder weapon miraculously crumble into ash? Will Maharaj Swami have the last laugh? And perhaps more important, why is Puri’s wife, Rumpi, chasing petty criminals with his Mummy-ji when she should be at home making his rotis?
Stopping only to indulge his ample Punjabi appetite, Puri uncovers a web of spirituality, science, and sin unique in the annals of crime.

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CHALLAN literally a receipt for a payment or delivery, but generally slang for a traffic fine.

CHALLO Hindi for ‘let’s go.’

CHARGE SHEETER a person with a criminal record.

CHARPAI literally, ‘four feet.’ A charpai is a woven string bed used throughout northern India and Pakistan.

CHAVAL rice.

CHAWL a tenement building.

CHILLA a flatbread made from black chickpea flour, onions and spices.

CHIWDA a variable mixture of spicy dried ingredients, which may include fried lentils, peanuts, chickpea flour noodles, corn, chickpeas, flaked rice and fried onion. This is all flavored with salt and a blend of spices.

CHOWKIDAR a watchman.

CHURIDAAR a style of leg-hugging drawstring pajamas.

CHUSKI crushed ice and flavored syrup on a stick.

CHUTTRI an elevated, dome-shaped pavilion used as an element in Indian architecture. ‘Chhatri’ means umbrella or canopy.

COWWAH crow.

’CRIB’ Indian English; to complain or grumble.

DAAL spiced lentils.

DACOITY criminal activity involving robbery by a groups of armed bandits. A dacoit is a member of an Indian or Burmese armed robber band.

DARSHAN a Sanskrit term meaning sight (in the sense of an instance of seeing or beholding). It is most commonly used for ‘visions of the divine,’ i.e., of a god or a very holy person or artifact. One can ‘receive darshana’ of the deity in the temple or from a saintly person, such as a guru.

DHABA an Indian roadside restaurant, popular in northern India, playing loud music and serving spicy Punjabi food.

DHARMA a Sanskrit term that refers to a person’s righteous duty or any virtuous path.

DHOKLA a fast food from the Indian state of Gujarat made with a fermented batter of chickpeas.

DHOTI a traditional men’s garment. It is a rectangular piece of unstitched cloth, usually around seven yards long, wrapped around the waist and legs and knotted at the waist.

DIDI a sister.

DIYA a lamp usually made of clay with a cotton wick dipped in vegetable oil.

DJINN a genie.

FAKIR an ascetic or mystic.

FUNDA from ‘fundamentals’; Indian English slang for situation or understanding.

GHAT a descending path or stairway to a river or landing place.

GHEE clarified butter.

GOONDA a thug or miscreant.

GORA/GORI a light-skinned person; the term is often used in reference to Westerners.

GULAB JAMUN a dessert made of dough consisting mainly of milk solids in a sugar syrup. It is usually flavored with cardamom seeds and rosewater or saffron.

HAAN-JI Hindi for ‘yes, sir/madam.’

’HAI!’ an exclamation indicating surprise or shock.

HAKIM a Muslim physician.

HALF-PANTS shorts.

’HARAMI’ ’bastard.’

IDLI a South Indian savory cake popular throughout India. The cakes are usually two to three inches in diameter and are made by steaming a batter consisting of fermented black lentils and rice. Most often eaten at breakfast or as a snack.

JADOO magic.

JASOOS a spy or private detective.

JAWAN a male constable or soldier.

JEERA cumin seeds.

KADI a spicy, sour curry made from gram flour fried in butter and mixed with buttermilk or yogurt. Served with chaval, rice.

’KAHA-HAIN?’ ’where are you?’

’KAISAN BHA?’’how are you, brother?’

KALAVA the sacred Hindu thread also called mauli in Hindi. It is worn while performing rituals.

KALE CHANNE black chickpeas.

KARO ’do it.’

KHEER rice or vermicelli pudding made with milk and sugar and topped with slivered almonds or pistachios.

KHOYA milk cooked slowly until only the solids remain; used in desserts.

KIDD-AN? Punjabi for ‘how are you?’

’KISTERAN?’ Punjabi for ‘how are things?’

KOKI a spiced Indian flatbread from Sindh.

KOTHI a stand-alone, multistory house.

KSHATRIYA the military and ruling order of the traditional Vedic-Hindu social system as outlined by the Vedas; the warrior caste.

KURTA a long shirt.

LAAD SAHIB bastardization of ‘lord sahib,’ meaning spoiled or arrogant.

LADOO a sweet that is often prepared to celebrate festivals or household events such as weddings. Essentially, ladoos are flour balls cooked in sugar syrup.

LAKH a unit in the Indian numbering system equal to 100,000.

LAOW bring.

LASSI a drink made from buttermilk. It can be plain, sweet or salty, or made with fruit such as banana or mango.

LATHI length of bamboo or cane often used by police or schoolmasters to lash people.

LIZER Indian English; derived from ‘liaiser.’

MANGAL SUTRA a symbol of Hindu marriage consisting of a gold ornament strung from a yellow thread, a string of black beads or a gold chain.

MARMA POINTS an anatomical site where flesh, veins, arteries, tendons, bones and joints meet up. Resembles the acupressure points.

MIXIE Indian English for a food processor.

MOONG DAAL HALWA dessert made from milk and lentils.

NA no? or isn t it?

NAMASHKAR / NAMASTE traditional Hindu greeting said with hands pressed together.

NANI maternal grandmother.

NEEM a tree in the mahogany family.

NETA a politician.

NIMBOO PANI lemonade, salty or sweet or both.

PAAGAL crazy.

PAALAK PANEER spinach with Indian cottage cheese.

PAAN a betel leaf, stuffed with betel nut, lime and other condiments and used as a stimulant.

PAAPRI CHAAT a North Indian fast food. ‘Chaat’ means lick; ‘paapri’ refers to crispy fried-dough wafers made from refined white flour. The paapris are served with boiled potato, boiled chickpeas, chilis, yogurt, tamarind chutney and chaat masala.

PAGRI a traditional Indian turban.

PAISA one hundredth of a rupee.

PANCHA KARMA an Ayurvedic cleansing and rejuvenating program for the body, mind and consciousness.

PANCHNAMA first listing of the evidence and findings that a police officer makes at the scene of a crime.

PANDIT a Hindu, almost always a Brahmin, who has memorized a substantial portion of the Vedas, along with the corresponding rhythms and melodies for chanting or singing them.

PARANTHA flat Indian wheat bread pan-fried and served with yogurt and pickle. Often stuffed with spiced potatoes, cauliflower or cottage cheese and eaten for breakfast.

PATKAS head coverings worn by Sikh children in preference to the bigger turban.

PINNI a Punjabi sweetmeat usually topped with cashews, almonds or pistachios.

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