Iris Johansen - Quicksand

"Smells good." Joe was on the porch and opened the door to let Toby into the house. The retriever tore immediately over to Eve licked her hand and then went over to his bowl and stared at her accusingly.

"Did Patty feed him?"

"I forgot to ask."

"Bad mistake." She sighed. "Give him some dog food while I dish up the lasagna."

"Right." Joe went to the dog food canister. "Though we could call Patty."

"I don't feel like calling his bluff tonight. Let him be happy." She wished making everyone happy would be that simple. People were a hell of a lot more complicated than dogs. "Was he good at Patty's?"

"Probably not. She doesn't care. She's besotted with the dog and spoils him rotten." He set the table. "We should probably board him."

"Yeah, sure." Joe was as crazy about Toby as the rest of the world was. He'd hire an army of dog-sitters before he'd board him. "And Jane would take a contract out on us. After all, he's her dog."

"He likes us a little too." Joe got the garlic bread and put it on a plate. "We're family, and that makes a difference."

Home and now family. The basic concepts seemed to be popping up in everyone's mind tonight. And Joe was being casual, almost normal, she noticed with relief. It was as if being here in a familiar place was taking the edge off, soothing him, as it had her. She set the lasagna on the table and sat down. "Yes, it makes a big difference."

He didn't look at her as he dished her up a portion of lasagna. "I never really had a family before you and Jane. My parents were always off on a yachting trip or skiing somewhere or other. Not that I had anything to complain about. I had food and good schools and that's a hell of a lot more than you had growing up." He lifted his gaze to stare into her eyes. "I just wanted you to know that I value every day we've been together as a family. Whatever happens between us, I want you to believe that."

"I believe it." She reached across the table to cover his hand with her own. "Likewise." She squeezed his hand and then picked up her fork. "And it's going to go on forever."

"I'll be happy for one day at a time," Joe said. "Because I can't promise you I'll feel any different about Bonnie. I've watched you suffering for too long. And in the end that could break us, not Montalvo."

She could feel the shadows returning, chilling her. "Shut up, Joe." She handed him a piece of garlic bread. "I don't want to talk about Kistle, Montalvo, or Bonnie. I just want to have a good dinner and then go to bed. Can't we put everything else on hold?"

He was silent a moment and then a slow smile lit his face. "Only if you eat a piece of this bread too. I refuse to be the only one in bed reeking of garlic."

JOE WAS SLEEPING.

Eve rolled over on her back to stare into the darkness. She wanted to go to sleep too, but it wasn't going to happen. Perhaps because she desperately wanted to continue on with the same warm, loving mood that had been present all evening. The conversation had been casual but affectionate, the sex had been hot yet heartbreakingly tender. Joe had held her for an hour before he'd drifted off to sleep.

Would it be the same in the morning? Probably not. Life would intrude and peace would vanish. She couldn't lie here brooding about it. She'd get up and get a glass of water and then maybe work on Carrie for a while.

She gently brushed her lips across Joe's shoulder and carefully got out of bed. She pulled on her robe and glided toward the door.

Toby was sleeping on the couch in the living room. He always jumped up there when they weren't around to keep him from it. He lifted his head, wagged his tail, and yawned.

"No, it's not morning." Eve got her glass of water. "And you have no business up there." She glanced at Carrie, then went out on the porch. Toby jumped down, followed her, and settled down on the top step. "But I'm not going to yell at you. I'm feeling mellow tonight." She stroked the retriever's head. "You were a big part in giving us a good evening. But don't think you can do it tomorrow."

He cuddled closer and licked her arm.

She should probably go back inside. Joe wouldn't like her being out on the porch without him. But as she'd told him, she didn't believe that Kistle would stalk her here. It might be unreasonable, but she felt as if she would be able to sense him if he was close to her. Unreasonable? There had been nothing reasonable about anything that had happened to her since Kistle had entered her life. There had only been darkness and threats and death.

And he was still out there, waiting to do it again.

"HE'S NOT GOING TO WAIT long, Mama."

She turned to see Bonnie sitting on the porch swing with one leg tucked beneath the other. "I know, baby. But that may be a good thing. It may be over soon."

She frowned. "I hope it will. Joe is so sad. I used to think you were the only sad one, but Joe is hurting too. I wish I could help him."

"You can't help him. You're the problem. He said he wished you'd never been born."

"Because he loves you. Don't be angry with him."

"I'm not angry. I'm sad. Because he can't love you the way I do." Eve smiled faintly. "Of course, I suppose you could always pay him a visit and let him get to know you."

"You're joking." She shook her head. "But I wish I could, Mama. I don't think it works that way. You're the only one who can see me."

"Because I'm the one who's nuts?"

"Because you open yourself to me. I can feel your mind open and saying welcome. It's like someone rolling out the red carpet at one of those Academy Awards ceremonies."

"Oh, yes, I'd spread the red carpet, strike up the band, and give you any gold statue I had on hand."

"Would you? It sounds like a party."

"The very best party." She looked down at Toby, who was lying with his head on her knee. "If you're a ghost, why isn't Toby barking and cowering? Aren't they supposed to be afraid of spirits?"

"That's a myth. Besides, Toby knows me by now. He'd be silly to be scared of me."

"He's pretty silly most of the time anyway. He thinks he's still a puppy."

"Isn't that wonderful?"

"I guess it is." She looked down at Toby. "Childhood is a special magic time. Every minute should be enjoyed."

"You're thinking about Bobby Joe."

"Yes, his childhood didn't last much longer than yours, baby."

"It was bad for him?"

"Very bad. Don't you know?"

She shook her head. "I know he's happy and not hurting anymore."

She cleared her throat. "You're saying that because that's the way I want it to be."

"Am I?"

"And because I'd rather you be a ghost than a figment of my imagination."

"Then why do you fight me?"

"Because I have to do it. It's the sane thing to do." She smiled. "And because I ran into an authority on the subject lately who told me she'd never met a ghost."

"Oh, the lady with the box."

Eve frowned. "Box? Oh, you mean Megan's medical bag."

"No." Bonnie set the swing to moving gently. "The other box. She doesn't like it, but it belongs to her. She has a good heart, but she can hurt you, Mama. Stay away from her."

"I have no intention of seeing her again."

Bonnie shook her head. "Mama…"

"I just asked her a few questions."

"Don't let her hurt you," Bonnie said. "Don't let her hurt me."

"Why should she be able to-"

"Look at Toby. He's wagging his tail. He hears Joe coming."

She glanced down and saw that Toby's head was lifted and he was staring at the screen door. "Bonnie, what did you mean about-"